The Adventures Of Plain Old Al
Story By Dale Peterson
I had a friend named Al.
Every once in a while, I would hear stories of Al’s experiences in Vietnam.
They were not typical of other stories that I had heard from people who had been there. He was with a unit whose job it was to gather expired ammunition and explosives and dispose of them. According to him, this was a very good position to be in because you always had hot food. He would remove the gunpowder from the ammunition and use it to warm up his cans of rations.
To get rid of the bullets, they would fire them into the woods at night in what they called “night fire.“ To get rid of the mortar rounds, they would bury them and then ignite them. One of the new guys, who buried the motor rounds this particular evening, was unaware that you were supposed to bury them facing downward. When they set them off, it caused a large tree to go flying over their heads.
Al said, “I never saw a tree fly through the air like that before.“
Another time he was driving a truck filled with explosives when he was come upon by sniper fire. He jumped out of the truck, grabbed his rifle and began firing wildly into the woods screaming: “I am so sick of this shit! You want some of this? You want this?!” He then realized that he was standing in front of a truck filled with explosives and had no idea where the sniper was. So he got back into the truck and drove off.
Most of the stories that he told, however, had to do with the availability of women. This was apparently his main interest. He would often describe in great detail the pleasures that could be had in exchange for a box of Tide.
Al was one of the few people I know who re-enlisted for Vietnam.
As a result, he was given a sixty day leave, which he used to go to Bangkok and pursue some of the services that could be had for laundry detergent, which he did with vigor.
On his way back to Connecticut, to see his family for Christmas before returning to Vietnam, his plane stopped in Denver. He found himself in distress in a certain area, possibly because of his endeavors in Bangkok, so he went to the Veterans Hospital to have it checked out. At first, they informed him that he really shouldn’t go to the veterans hospital since he was still an active duty member but then they looked at his “active duty member”, and decided that maybe it didn’t matter all that much and he should immediately be admitted.
During his stay, he was informed that the citizens of Denver had collected money to fly the family members of “wounded veterans“, (who were in the hospital and could not be home for Christmas,) out to see them. Al and one other person were to be the recipients of this donation, so they arranged to fly his family out to see him in Denver.
In order to thank the citizens of Denver, Neil Armstrong was going to be appearing on television and wanted to interview Al. The other person was too sick to appear on television, and Al was the only one who could possibly do it. So that was how Al got his fifteen minutes of fame. Unless, of course, you count me telling about it here.
—Dale Peterson
Interesting story. I was 19 on the day of the first lottery but lucked out. My brother too. I figured they did not need a klutz like me and I could not make heads or tails of that war. All I ever heard was praise for Vietnamese no matter whose side they were on. So what gives? I read a book or two that related stories not unlike this one. I read Stanley Karnow …. it was interesting. Yeah, the Cold War. Proxy war. But it was curiously unsatisfying. On a bus ride, a colleague … an excellent guy and a very rare black PhD in our industry … saw my copy of “Vietnam.” He asked “May I look at that for a minute?” He opened to the map and said “Yeah, we were here…and here…and here, etc.”. I had no idea he had been there (bronze star fire fight survivor). He was in grad school at CUNY when he was drafted. He shrugged it off “I was studying, went there, and then back at my desk.” During a rally in our town I told a kind lady in conversation “I should have gone .. would have saved me a lot of trouble,” assuming I would not have returned.
Obviously I had no idea which end was up regarding this war (among other things.) The pandemic response, the Biden administration … we all know the list … and involvement in vehement anti-vax opposition … have brought a lot of clarity about the entire timeline since WWll and prior. I don’t need to repeat the outline Bobby Kennedy has articulated so clearly in his seminal writings. I had the chance to give him a 30-second book review at a campaign event. He was gracious as always and liked the enthusiastic feedback. That clarification will proceed over time despite ceaseless propaganda, engineered cognitive dissonance and the stultifying statements we hear from DEM members of Congress … and other strange phenomena. Who are the puppet masters? The Black Nobility whose lineage traces back to the Venetian Empire? Or aliens, as some insist? Even this will be clarified.
The Neil Armstrong part was the highlight of that story. Wholesome American and dubious first human to walk the moon interviews deranged exploiter of underaged sex workers. Yeah, I know, it's wartime and everyone was doing it.
It's hard to distinguish between Al and AI (Artificial Intelligence(, then and now. War zone survival will make humans artificial.