Changing Into Our Real Selves
The only real danger is losing hope.
Hope for what though?
Not that the highly organized and self righteous mass killings would cease—not that the psychopaths will be arrested.
We know we can’t “stop” any of that; What we hope for is for love, memory, fidelity, and friendship, not to die on us.
We will never invalidate each other here. I will get better at deleting and blocking people who want to make any of us feel bad about ourselves. (Not the same as “disagreeing.”)
This may not sound like a great goal but it is my primary goal—that we never invalidate each other here. That we keep at it until we have a bully-free zone, right in the middle of the internet.
Right at this moment, I want to thank everybody who was so kind, supportive, and generous in response to my post titled “I Need Your Help.”
Here is what I want you to know before we have our Zoom call on Saturday, 1 pm EDT, (link will be posted.)
I have been severely bullied most of my life and this is the first time I feel accepted somewhere.
If I say ‘thank you’ it will sound like nothing. So I say nothing.
Beneath the avatar of a journalist who was onto Fauci and them a long time ago, who has a book, etc is a person who wishes to cast off the gorilla suit. The gorilla suit is the journalist who had to become a gorilla.
Half the time I want to tell you, who feel like friends, the history, bring the dead to life, correct fields of lies, but the other half of the time I want to say: “Find the zipper. Get me out.”
Hence the new idea, the communal project, the travel magazine. Fun, whimsy, and gravity.
In addition, I want to work with targeted individuals, and discussions are underway.
Nobody here has ever been delinquent, including if you have been a free subscriber for 3 years. I think you know I never had a paywall and never will, and almost never “beg.” But I was in a bad spot and I’m digging out, trying not to give up, but many things went wrong at once; There’s so much I conceal. Why do I conceal it?
Because I don’t want you to think of me as a crazy person or paranoiac. Things happen that I can’t “explain,” and it’s not as easy to repress and integrate.
What does all this mean? It’s not that big of a deal, not these days, when we are all able to see it all. And we are all living it.
“It happens rarely that one of us really sees another.”
Tomas Tranströmer
I was supposed to kill myself. Christine was the sacrifice. After the sacrifice of Christine, as Rene Girard told us, harmony was restored. It was over. 2008.
From comments:
American Siberia - David Schmit…
Hi Celia, How about helping me out? ;-)
26 mins agoAuthor
what would you like me to help you with David?
Curing Covid Related Diseases -…
I feel the same whenever someone begs. I find it very disturbing. Are my writings of less value than another person's writings? I clearly have less readers than almost everyone else, but maybe my writings are life saving to a small handful of my readers, and that makes them priceless - to those few. I know I will never have an income from subscriptions because my marketplace is too small to generate income. I write what I write to save lives.
Oh, no! This is not begging. Not even close. This was the most genuine call for help. I am glad I was able to step in and help Celia. She deserves our kindness, admiration and respect. She's one of a kind.
Curing Covid Related Diseases -…
So do all of us who write here on a regular basis. Are you going to support all of us?
Celia has a following because she broke through the noise with information that people found valuable. You can do the same - but it is obviously not easy. If she says she needs help then some of us responded (like me) because we want important information to keep flowing to the world.
Christine, I read your substack and like what I read. I wish you good luck with finding cures for long covid and the other things you listed. I'm not an expert but I do wonder about the microclots and the white blood clots being issues with long covid.
That's not how it work: it's the other way around. The best support I can ever get is the truth plain and simple. That's the only thing I need. I hope that helps.
42 mins agoAuthor
I never ask under normal circumstances.
12 hrs agoLiked by Celia Farber
Yes. Writing can help save lives, but like everyone reading this, writers also need to support themselves.
“If you don’t ask …..”
The times we are going through, are extraordinary times! This isn't a time to criticize brave journalists like Celia. These are times to get united, because the battle is far from over.
41 mins agoAuthor
Gabriella, it's ok, I'm used to it. But I appreciate you trying to defend me. I will try hard to live up to everybody's trust.
I was in storage units most of the day and just now read through the comments and responded, though thanks will still be coming in as I find more time to focus.
The increase in paid subscriptions was immensely welcome and appreciated.
It was very hard to ask for help. I hate that word, “help.”
The problems I’m having are—this is the paradox—by no means due to lack of you all being paid subscribers. Not at all.
I never cared who paid and who did not and I never will. I rejected all business advice, I wanted it all to be free and it always has been—zero paywall. I hate paywalls.
I was very specific in what I asked: IF you have been reading this Substack regularly for over a year and are able to become a paid subscriber, it would be greatly appreciated. I could have said “two years.” I pay for a bunch of Substacks and not others and it follows no pattern.
Invariably, those who are angry/critical are unpaid subscribers.
Christine (quoted below) you have no idea what my history is, or what I had to go through to be here at all, nor do you know what kinds of torments and deaths targeted EVERY person who opposed Fauci’s reich, which I did in 1987. I started in 1987.
There are grifters in our midst and I am not one of them.
I find your comment sanctimonious in the extreme. I was not “begging,” and my readers who understand me and trust me as I trust them, did not find it “very disturbing.”
I have lived on next to nothing for longer than you can fathom, and done things to survive you would probably never do. I worked as a cook and server to wealthy people, a Jewish family, on 5th Avenue, cleaned apartments, cleaned hotels, rented out my bedroom, rented out my apartment, always, for years, always renting out any space I had to make ends meet. And this is after my 11,000 word AIDS expose was published in Harper’s. THEY targeted me until I was in a psychiatric hospital. They bullied Christine Maggiore to death. I have been concealing my story for a very long time.
I am now going to go in and delete anybody who expresses unclean spirit of accusation and that is not censorship. We are trying to create a GOOD THING here.
I was not begging, and it was not disturbing. I hope you find another Substack where people are independently wealthy and not trying to start a new magazine.
To others who bought subscriptions—thank you with my heart.
Rough times. But soon things will start to bloom.
See you all Saturday—look for the link here tomorrow. And warmly welcome!
Anyone who has had the experience of being backed into a corner would know you weren’t begging. If people can’t be kind they should have the decency to be quiet.
Dear Celia, your words are beautiful, powerful, and inspiring. You stand out as someone truly special. I believe many of us reading your Substack see you this way: brave, kind, inspiring, and exceptionally talented. I am saying that because I started reading your book. This book is not an ordinary one. It so incredibly well written that it deserves an Oscar for writers. I don't think I'm exaggerating: your book is like a fascinating thriller: I just can't put it down. I can't recommend highly enough your book to everyone. I hope with all my heart that some day a movie will be made based on your book. I would love to see that movie. I also hope that you will write a book just like this one about covid. I would pay anything to read that book. Thank you for everything you do and telling us the truth. In the end, the truth is all that matters.