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Betsy C's avatar

Thank you for writing about this topic. I got PTSD from working in a refugee camp and then a few other big things. I'm now a trauma recovery coach with only 1 client but working on it!. You sound like you're in functional freeze - you can write and research but not much else. Your house is probably really messy (or really neat). Start out by going for walks. Download a breathing track for coherent breathing (YouTube has good videos). Then just be kind to yourself. As you unthaw you will be able to do more for yourself. I'm unemployed right now and got into such a state that I couldn't focus enough to write cover letters or create my online course. Neurofeedback (read The Body Keeps the Score next) has been amazing, and I'm on a payment plan. Keep going! Also, Anna has a writing course for free, which I have never done either, but now seeing myself in your writing, I will do it today and try to start that daily routine (famous last words). Thank you for bringing up this topic. Everyone has trauma, many of us have childhood trauma, and The Crappy Childhood Fairy (aka Anna) is a great place to start to understand ourselves.

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I am not your Other's avatar

“I’m into next level “freeze” over here, since arriving in ——, —— nn. Might be altitude partly.

Simply don’t do what I need to do or want to do or write down on a bulletin board on post its that I must do, today.”

Me. Totally me. I am amazed at how many things I can put off or ignore. Part of me is waiting for a knock at the door, to ‘get’ me for all the things undone. Part of me knows the way out is to help others. But that’s also partly how I got here. And those currently in my sphere to help are also related to original trauma. All very twisted up. So part of me (currently the most in charge) figures that this freeze, this quiet, is my way (eventually) out.

Big sigh. Big hugs. Carry on!

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