Remember That Rejects Of History Include Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. That Is To Say, We Are Important And Can Play A Role We Never Thought Possible (But No Skipping Trauma Work)
Thank you for writing about this topic. I got PTSD from working in a refugee camp and then a few other big things. I'm now a trauma recovery coach with only 1 client but working on it!. You sound like you're in functional freeze - you can write and research but not much else. Your house is probably really messy (or really neat). Start out by going for walks. Download a breathing track for coherent breathing (YouTube has good videos). Then just be kind to yourself. As you unthaw you will be able to do more for yourself. I'm unemployed right now and got into such a state that I couldn't focus enough to write cover letters or create my online course. Neurofeedback (read The Body Keeps the Score next) has been amazing, and I'm on a payment plan. Keep going! Also, Anna has a writing course for free, which I have never done either, but now seeing myself in your writing, I will do it today and try to start that daily routine (famous last words). Thank you for bringing up this topic. Everyone has trauma, many of us have childhood trauma, and The Crappy Childhood Fairy (aka Anna) is a great place to start to understand ourselves.
Betsy, wow thank you. You GET it. Freeze is like a blob that paralyzes you more and more. You cross over into "dangerous freeze about monetary stuff" and bills and old parking tickets, and yes—house messy BUT I am working on this and getting better. Not everything is in total freeze. Going for walks…yes. Today for example, I could still do that. I sometimes (more and more rarely) take ice baths and that unfreezes me paradoxically. Coherent breathing? I will go look for that. And why can't today be the day I JOIN Anna's workshops. One of them. It seems insurmountable. Yes, I am in functional freeze, can only write and do research but not much else. I need help with what on earth my brain is doing at this point. Thank you for taking the time to share your story and what you see in my words, it's really helpful. That moment of confessing the whole "freeze" thing. Not easy.
Feels like this has been most of my life!! I tried making lists so I can cross things off and encourage myself... only there always seems to be 10 things that need to be done in order to start the first thing on the list so I wander about in a state of distraction not really having ganas to do anything. Surely it is something they are dropping on us from the skies? lol
I console myself by reading Ecclesiastes ;) all is vanity....
In Rod Dreher's book "Wonder", he talks about the need for re enchantment of the spiritual if we want to flourish in this post Christian world. He says concentration and focus is crucial if we want to be in touch with the spiritual, that you can't pray well if you aren't paying attention. He, being Orthodox, focused on the Jesus prayer as his priest had told him to do..... for an HOUR!!!! He said it was extremely difficult but he was having serious health and personal issues ... and after some wks he had major improvement. Dreher touches on demons and UFOs as well, and how culture is changing. It's interesting and I'm trying to implement his suggestions to hopefully curb my wanderings.
We will get through this slump eventually, all of us!
PS... I rarely make my bed. If I pass by the ruffled covers in the day I just tell myself - oh, the maid was here early to turn them down.:)
“I’m into next level “freeze” over here, since arriving in ——, —— nn. Might be altitude partly.
Simply don’t do what I need to do or want to do or write down on a bulletin board on post its that I must do, today.”
Me. Totally me. I am amazed at how many things I can put off or ignore. Part of me is waiting for a knock at the door, to ‘get’ me for all the things undone. Part of me knows the way out is to help others. But that’s also partly how I got here. And those currently in my sphere to help are also related to original trauma. All very twisted up. So part of me (currently the most in charge) figures that this freeze, this quiet, is my way (eventually) out.
You sound like my own mind. We are onto the path of this thing. We are onto it. We must keep going.
A good start is to not (ever) listen to Jordan Peterson, if indeed one ever did. Not listen to any "discipline" advocates who obviously SPENT THEIR LIVES BEING ADMIRED so don't have advanced brain damage. Still, I agree with him about "make your bed," and I always do. But the way those types THINK people let their lives fall apart because they lack "discipline" betrays a shameful ignorance of the truth and "science" of brain damage induced by layered and early extreme trauma, also adult trauma. All together it makes quite the bomb.
Peterson is a hack and I do not believe that he's not still an addict. I'm sour on that whole Peterson-Russell Brand - etc. "influencer" circle. For one, they're all now "Christians," say what? And selling Christian apps for $$ on their shows.
Agree. I fell for the Peterson thing a little. Never could tolerate Russel Brand but tried. Are they operators or are they just sort of unconscious and driven?
I think Peterson does not understand PTSD and the brain. He's probably helped people but I'm not interested in people who reject the truth about trauma and the brain.
They wind up saying: "I stand with Israel" and not flinching when children by the thousands are blown up. That's trauma induced de-sensitization if you ask me.
People who didn't get love from their mothers or had cold mothers tend to be in full support of Israel. Has anybody else noticed this?
I also fell for them both a little. Then after months I gradually came to see them for the charlatans they are. I mean, making $$ hand-over-fist.
Peterson doesn't really understand trauma, I agree: And I think his approach is stoicism, mixed with some of that old motivational speaker stuff. He does not understand how those of us with deep-seated trauma become paralyzed, and we can see what we should be able to do but we just can't bridge the gap that keeps us from doing it.
Yeah the "I stand with Israel" - whut. I am not taking "sides" on that because it doesn't matter what I think but these are influencers, and they should just not say anything - IMHO. Or maybe just always side with goodness - which is perhaps just praying for the people on any side of the conflict who are innocent victims.
Agree with those supporting Israel without thought - it appears to have an authoritarian side. Is this the new "woke rightwing" thing I'm starting to see some people talk about?
"SPENT THEIR LIVES BEING ADMIRED so don't have advanced brain damage"
Self-aggrandisement is a mental disease.
There is a point where all the discipline in the world cannot ignore the fact that we live in a society that has accepted the death cult and its machinations. For me, I told many former acquaintances that I am not putting my shoulder to the wheel of progress for the psychopaths. Hence, the ostracisation. I do tell them that as soon as our society sees that a fundamental shortcoming of Mammon Worship is universally acknowledged then our society will recognize that it does not exist on a paradigm of Food Security., and if we can't feed ourselves, what are we working towards?
Doing too much for others at the expense of our own health or sanity is a fine line, isn't it? I've done the same. I finally had to stop 10 years ago when it nearly killed me. Since then, I have learned a lot about codependency. It's really an underrated "dysfunction" as I find that it is really devastating when experienced at a high level. I have 2 sisters who are off the charts - and I can't even be around them. I found plenty of the tendencies in myself, of course. My way of avoiding them was to stay single. I figured that out 20 years ago.
I do love helping others and I get to do some of that at my job, which helps. It's all about degrees, isn't it?
I can't begin to tell you how far I took this. Nearly killed me too. It's insanity when it kicks in. And the "recipients" don't care. Last person whose life I "saved"…kicked me so hard in the heart, metaphorically, I refuse to even describe it as yet.
Please never go to Connecticut and to a random man's house and try to save his whole life, people.
Disappear? I think that might be it for me, anyway.
It's as if our actions define us - and if we aren't proving we are SO GOOD then we disappear into nothing. I have had to work on this and I will tell you, re-embracing my true Christian roots helped more than any therapy ever has.
In a quieter state of mind this morning, I'm reading through the discourse on this thread. Not often do I make time to get in true listening mode and read this far down the exchange because other necessities intervene.
Typically labor, vigorous walking, lampooning life's absurdities, and silly humor are what get me through another day. The latter survival tactic is what prompted me to post this aimed at your remark, "My way of avoiding them was to stay single".
It's another gem from Wayne's World: "Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries".
GREAT NEWS from a few weeks ago when I took Anna's online class on childhood PTSD. I took that class because she mentioned that she had a serious head-injury in her younger days that put her unconscious and in the hospital AND I had a serious head injury in 7th grade from football (unconscious for 16 hours and a migraine for a week) (my dad did NOT trust doctors and hospitals so I wasn't taken to either and NOW I can see his wisdom). In fact I thought he was unbalanced in saying this "I saw more blood and guts at the hands of doctors and medics (in World War II in the South Pacific battles that he fought in ) THAN I DID FROM BULLETS AND BOMBS." His words today are now what I call wisdom - after COVID and vaccines.
In Anna's course she had an exercise where one says a word on the exhale for 20 minutes. She advised to choose a word or use the word "THIS". So I said "THIS" on the exhale for 20 minutes. Seemed like the act of a crazy person. Later in the day I did it again but used the word "LENZ" - it felt better. The next day I switched again to "HUMMM" an easy relaxing exhalation. After two days of this I realized that the tightness to my neck, in turning to my left which has been greatly restricted since 7th grade, was noticeably improved. So as a "test" I played golf, a sport where one has to look left (my bad side) on every shot and every putt several times. And every swing is a "pull" from the left side. I figured this would set me back with all of this left sidedness. But it didn't! There was NO setback - no loss of flexibility that I have gained from this exhalation drill.
What's I've noticed is that this "exercise/drill/technique" IS WAY more effective than the deep-tissue massages, electronic stimulation and active-release therapies that've had for decades. Today, when I look to the left, instead of feeling the restriction I've had for decades, I feel as though I just had therapy (at $120 per session) that has freed up the tension caused, per Anna by the NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE THAT WAS NEVER HEALED IN ALL OF MY LIFETIME AS A RESULT OF THAT SERIOUS FOOTBALL INJURY THAT SHOULD HAVE EITHER KILLED ME OR CAUSED ME TO BE A QUADRAPLEGIC (I was tackled by two bigger boys and landed on my head - which broke my helmet - WITH both of them on my back).
If this reads like fiction or a miracle, you are observant. But I am a PhD former bio-statistician so I understand the importance of controlling for variables, etc. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.
Anna's "exercise"/"drill"/"procedure" changed my neck issue after 50+ years seemingly permanently when the best I ever experienced was a day or two of relief from "active release"/"Deep tissue" massage/etc. Those procedures were not addressing the fundamental neurological damage. They were releasing the tightness of the muscles temporarily.
I thought that Anna was promoting ("selling") "Woo Woo" (out there stuff) but I can say with 100% certainty that this drill works and I am now a month into this test and there is no setback.
God bless Anna and Celia for all that you do. THe truth of God's wisdom and design "will set you free." including from the severe tightness of neck muscles for over 50 years.
I suffered two major childhood head injuries, one from hitting the headboard of my parents bed while using it as a trampoline...jumping up and falling backwards. The second was from hitting a tree at about 40 mph with my head while tobogganing with friends at age 13. In both cases I was unconscious for a few hours. Minimal medical treatment followed these. When I was much older I realized that many of the problems I was then suffering from fell into the category of severe PTSD, including severe constant anxiety and panic, auditory and positional dyslexia, confused thinking at times, inability to self regulate emotions and calm myself when triggered, insomnia, hyperactivity, hypervigilence, and here were also many physiological and physical symptoms such as unstable blood glucose and other hormonal imbalances and massive frequent headaches as well as many untreatable spinal and other alignment issues. I am happy to report that I no longer have any of these symptoms today. All gone completely.
While I understand there are many ways to approach trauma treatment, having worked as an acupuncturist in the field of healing trauma for more than 20 years, I have found that for healing my own injuries (mental, emotional and physical) and those of my clients, the most subtle vibrational energy therapies, using only light touch such as Yin Tuina, and Craniosacral therapies released me from my own trauma, and also released many of my patients from theirs. Acupuncture, correctly applied, can also help to restore balance to the nervous and hormonal systems once the unconscious mind is cleared of the trauma memory/vibrational field.
I discovered that much depends on the vibration of the therapist, rather than on the actual skill level with techniques...the most important prerequisite is the ability of the therapist to raise their vibration to a higher level of harmony, wholeness and integration...the vibration of the client then co-resonates and follows...(via a simple law of physics of co-resonance)...the trauma memory can no longer exist in the higher vibe state which does not resonate with the trauma event, and the patient's subconscious mind releases the holding patterns keeping the trauma in place. I also ask the patient, prior to the treatment, to hold as best they can, in their mind, the thought that "I am safe now" and send this message to the unconscious mind where the trauma resides, and where that aspect of the mind is still reliving the trauma, as if it were trapped in time, as if the original traumatic event were still happening. Success also seems to depend on a strong intention by the patient...a deep level decision from the heart, rather than from the head, to release the trauma at all levels of being. I also believe this can only occur once any connected karmic patterns have been resolved through learning...in some cases people have simply not worked through the spiritual life lessons the trauma affords them, so may not be able to release the trauma pattern until that is complete.
I have witnessed many healings of trauma in the past twenty years, some of them seemingly miraculous by our everyday reckoning of what is possible. In my own healing from the tobogganing accident I actually felt the bones of my cranium rotate back into place...and I heard a grating sound and felt the movement, as the first cervical vertebrae separated from the cranium where it had been totally jammed for more than 40 years. All this happened in an instant in response to the therapist placing their hands behind my head the first time and uttering a prayer for my healing.
I also had a healing experience when I remembered the 3 yr. old head injury, during work in a craniosacral class at acupuncture school and I screamed one long drawn out scream, for about a minute while electricity ran up and down my spine and out through all four limbs in a very dramatic somato-emotional release. That day the entire class learned what somato-emotional release actually is. In my case I believe it was a release of trapped energy in the brain stem that had jammed where I had hit my 3 year old head on the headboard of my parents bed in the act of the unrepressed childhood free-abandoned-joy of jumping and falling repeatedly. The girl treating me had only a few weeks training in craniosacral therapy along with the rest of the class. We were novices.
What I learned from my own experience in both of my successful healings, was that the people who treated me were completely unskilled in technique but had the right vibe and it was the right timing, and I was completely ready to let it all go. Prior to this I had tried the same techniques with a very skilled cranial sacral therapist but his vibe was not right, and I could feel it, so nothing happened. I later found that while I was working at Sierra Tucson with many of the residents there who had trauma underlying other problems, that they said the most healing they received for their participation in that $50,000 to 100,000 program was from me and my two fellow therapists there who did acupuncture and cranial sacral combined. Many of them told us they left completely healed by the time they left the program, often from very chronic, deep rooted, and very difficult traumas. They had often exhausted every single option for healing by the time they came to us, and told us we were their last hope.
Lessons from all this: don't give up (it took me 5 years to finish this work for my own healing...persistence will bring success)....trust your instincts about the vibe not the credentials of the therapist, unless they already have a very good track record with this type of release work...our hearts know how things are with people and whether they are right for us. It is the heart and spirit that matters not the head and the physical. Meditate as deeply as you can and bring all of your heart felt intention for healing into the therapy, without reservation. Work on a higher spiritual level to understand if there are any lessons that are being learned...are they complete? What are the obstacles to healing? If not ask to see clearly what the issues and obstacles are, and seek resolution. No one is denied spiritual insights, or healing. We are always answered in the best way we can understand.
I hope some here will find this helpful...
and wishing you all heartfelt blessings in your healing!
I found this very helpful, thank you. I feel like I am walking blindly through a "dark night of the soul". After taking care of my mother for 26 months until her death (had to move 800 miles to keep my sister, that lived 5 minutes away, from putting her in a nursing home). The trauma of that period is locked up in me in a way I can't seem to dislodge no matter how my body forces me to grieve at the most unexpected moments. The "pressure" inside of me over all of what I experienced (I have 10 siblings, and oh, what a long story) caused another dam break a couple days ago and I woke up the next morning with a bloody eye. I'm not one to run to the doctor and have spent a lot of time learning about alternative healing methods. I'm a bit freaked out by this injury though and the "craziness" but I guess the trauma had to go somewhere. I definitely feel as though I am being forced to face the entirety of my life - almost like a review. Die before you die so you won't die when you die. I need to reread your comment and see what resonates and just keep moving forward without fear. Many blessings to you for all those you have helped along the way.
Ostracisation can be communitywide. I cannot have an actual conversation, except for 5 or 6 people because of the dynamic below:
[It starts with a conversation amongst your kind. When that conversation hits the "no-go" zone: implanted ideology and self-annihilation - the conversation stops immediately and the disparagement and ad hominems begin.
The majority are normies that want their Taylor Swift concert.]
Approaching the fifth year of enforced Mammon Worship on everybody, assisted by the effects of the CoronaPrank and its JewJabs.
And the downside of it all is that my wife needs her social commitments, and so she waters down EVERYTHING that needs to be said.
Yes, yes and yes. I've been thinking about all of this, too. I feel like we have different frequencies and attract people/energy/circumstances via resonance with whatever frequency we're operating under. Unresolved traumas seem to trigger frequencies that really mess with me. Shame frequency definitely seems to attract ostracization.
And then there's something thick and heavy that creates inertia. You call it freeze, but often it's something different for me. I'm moving right along and then it's like the poppy fields en route to Oz. I can't finish the task. I need a nap. It's like a haze. Perhaps, the closer you get to healing trauma, the bigger and more overwhelming that journey appears.
Self-love helps a lot. Same for forgiveness. But real forgiveness is its own work.
Ann, what a vivid image. Poppy fields en route to Oz. "I can't finish the task. I need a nap."
Should we stop saying these words "healing trauma?" Maybe? Is it like "The AIDS Virus?" Pairing words that claim a fictional story. Or am I slipping into defeat.
After hours on phone discussing The Syndrome (all this) instead of signing up for anything that might "heal" it.
My parents were both, separately, firm believers in not healing a thing, would never let that word come near them. Both off the charts traumatized.
My father's demon gang called him "Mr. Farber." Straight up bossed him around his whole life, since they took up residence.
I tried to attack them. That's a story with tragic humor for another time. I keep meaning to tell that story and he would not mind.
Absolutely love Anna Runkle and her trauma work has given me an opportunity to truly heal from my childhood and past. It's a journey that has alot of twists and turns but worth every single one of them. As a man I landed in a world dominated by feminine energy ( healing world ) was looked at differently for it and I'm can just imagine the names I gained.
The greatest gift I ever gave myself was the time it takes to heal a broken soul.
Justin if you'd like to share details we would all be very interested I think. We all kind of wonder if there's hope for us if we do the work. PTSD tricks you into giving up real fast. you know?
Oh boy. That's a loaded question with an ending I'm not sure really exists. I firmly believe in the journey itself and commitment to it. Finding like minded people that are on the journey helps yet for seemed really difficult to find. I had decided to get sober after years of going through recovery the traditional way. Dealing with what happened but never why it happened. This all happened just before lockdowns and the entire world was changing. Fear driven narratives and on the brink of WW3 . Drug epidemic at its peak and mental health flowing rampantly. I clung to it as it was designed and my trauma loved and hated every minute of it. A few months ago the realisation that it was all being done to trigger exactly what I was fighting set in. Anna explained it to a T along with many others. Gabor had me question everything and for that I am truly grateful. It was difficult and I'm pretty sure I beat myself to a pulp voluntarily, for a long time wanting to stop. As you know there is no going back. For 2 years I have been suffering through a neck injury that still plagues me and am currently unable to work from it. I know that part of that is stuck emotions or spiritual blocks yet it still persists. Every path we choose is the path we are meant to in my humble opinion. God's purpose in our lives , or however you choose to see that. There are so many theories and practices at our fingertips. Some will hold and others not. Regaining the strength and confidence to fight again was what ultimately made the difference. I love to draw and paint yet for 2 years could hardly touch a pencil to paper. Everything needed to be perfect or it went in the trash , little nuances that felt astronomical in the moment. The more I worked at it the harder they became. One day it just shifted and I finished a piece. Framed it and hung it on the wall. As if the struggles hadn't happened at all. No real explanation to it other than it simply was. Those shifts happen and creation begins. Go into the places you fear the most , that's where the light shines the brightest. Trauma has become a buzz word and take away from its importance. The world is pushing it on us and the beauty of that is within the push is where we begin to heal. I had no idea there was so much locked inside of me and I'm pretty sure had someone told me it would be like this I wouldn't have signed up. 2 years later I'm grateful for the journey and honoured by the souls that dug with me and helped unearth the brokenness. Finding others to journey with us the hardest and most important piece of the puzzle.
Sorry for the long reply , was hard to stop. Appreciate you taking the time to ask and read.
Holy cow! Holy shit! I dumped the last known narcissist from my life eight long months ago. Absolutely, the best thing I've done in 2024. No regrets at all.
Have I dealt with the trauma? No, I am also in freeze mode.
I feel the same way. The past week has been epic. Monday, I discovered that United Health Care was cancelling the thing that kept me sane and healthy, my beloved gym membership, (I believe this was a nationwide cost-cutting measure which applies to all US seniors on their Advantage plan). I was devastated and a certain level of freeze lifted and depression set in.
Two days later, Wednesday, began with the big news of Health Care Avenger, which brought hope. But what really cleared the clouds of depression was the reaction of people in the comment sections, the overwhelming support for his action and the fury at the HC system. Are they finally waking up? Sure seems so.
The depression has lifted. Who needs that fancy gym? It was nice but in the past I lived without it. I’m starting a new fitness regime of running in the park nearby—the cold air is invigorating.
That is great news and a tonic for my soul, Cosima.
Focusing on your fitness regime outdoors is (IMHO) far better than being at a gym indoors. I am certain you understand the magnificent benefits of being one with nature, and getting plenty of sun exposure.
I walked out of my gym (had been a member for 30 years) May 2020 and never returned. I walk a minimum of 5 miles at the beach with my two pups 7 days a week.
The entire “sick care” system is a criminal genocidal cesspool of evil swamp creatures. It was never meant to be anything else.
No one is coming to save us, so we had better learn to save ourselves!
I was just talking about this to my friend in recovery who has a hard time leaving her house since she embraced the "stay at home orders." Now she can only focus on cleaning her home. I told her about this preacher who was visiting my town - his site is www.inyourfacedemon.com and I don't go to church services, but I was like I have to meet this guy! What a great fight - he believes in real spirits that possess, but he includes exorcism of binding the demon of fear, depression, anxiety, stagnation, rejection all the negative strongholds. And I likened the "stay at home orders" as a demon that has possessed certain people. We have to rebel in whatever way we can and say IN YOUR FACE DEMON! I'm going to head to town and purchase goods from a local source, not Amazon. I'm going to go to an in-person 12 step meeting, not Zoom. I'm going to listen to local singers with friends, not stream while I'm cleaning my house, yet again! We are not alone. Rebels Rebel!
Unhealed trauma resides in the deep subconscious and the deep subconscious is distinct from the subconscious. The 2 levels are accessed very differently. Unhealed trauma has an energetic signature that acts as a trigger and is the source of negative beliefs and those two things are usually the source of intractable problems plaguing the current incarnation. If we know about this, and not necessarily the details of the trauma itself, healing can be accomplished. We use what's called Deep Subconscious Channeling/ Trauma Resolution; a newer version called Multi-issue or DSC-TR-MV for short.
Good work Celia and others, we do need to heal. I have dealt with rejection for a long time, but don't mind because I signed up for it. The culture and 'world' assumes that the spiritual and the physical are fundamentally different. This false assumption about reality may have something to do with why this world 'appears ' messed up. I am OK with the looks of bewilderment and sometimes do connect in unexpected ways. And feel safe in living by the opposite assumption.
Her new book, Reregulated, is very useful, as are her writing techniques. Anna Runkle has been infinitely more helpful than traditional therapists in my estimation.
Djorjovic tennis' ( prospective ex) no 1 - thrived on rejection.
So does any thinking serb.
Many of Berdaeyev 's 'no artist can create unless he despises the world' has been reduced to a 'let's sit around holding hands about how we really ,really would like everyone to agree.'
Let's say that if anyone agreed with me ,I would stop creating.
(Calvin Seerveld 's Rainbows For A Fallen World' has more on that..It's Jeremiah's 'forehead of flint' - Ezekiel's 'bread of man ,baked on human excrement)
-Without skepticism based on mediocracy -Wouldn't have found the world's
first Mini Microraptor (my naming 'sticks' -protocol before synchrotron)
305 Ma 'almost spider'
a speck sized butterfly ON a wasp ( forerunner of first bee)
Teeth of less than hand width 'big' Mini Microraptor's pre 205Ma quite expandable image of teeth ,to extent of fore inner articulated beak /jaw .
Its why I am the only brit to record all solo Bach and all Paginini caprices to concert standard.3Cds.
Ostensibly the fastest - most abundant illegal download ,fully the intention.
It's the Vertigo Project.
Notably -
It did me the world of good - when ,covered in full weeping ezema -aged 9 had one of the very last 1937 Edward 7th 7 minted penny's- BEFORE his abdication..Nice 'H ' directly beside 1937 direct top right in miniature..
Saw it on Blue Peter- showed it to everyone in primary school
nobody believed me,
started raining
used it to get bus home ,a mere 15min walk,painful for slow walking ezema patient.
My mum went nuts ,moving heaven and earth to reclaim THAT penny.
Was only worth about 15 000 quid THEN,about 10 times that now,maybe - to a crazed 'collector'.
Tim Fletcher has a website and videos dedicated to healing from Complex Trauma. Andrea Ashley from the Adult Child podcast also has good information. She swears a lot but that does not bother me since I really just want to heal. Perhaps others will find these sources useful in addition to Anna Runkle’s invaluable work.
Thank you for writing about this topic. I got PTSD from working in a refugee camp and then a few other big things. I'm now a trauma recovery coach with only 1 client but working on it!. You sound like you're in functional freeze - you can write and research but not much else. Your house is probably really messy (or really neat). Start out by going for walks. Download a breathing track for coherent breathing (YouTube has good videos). Then just be kind to yourself. As you unthaw you will be able to do more for yourself. I'm unemployed right now and got into such a state that I couldn't focus enough to write cover letters or create my online course. Neurofeedback (read The Body Keeps the Score next) has been amazing, and I'm on a payment plan. Keep going! Also, Anna has a writing course for free, which I have never done either, but now seeing myself in your writing, I will do it today and try to start that daily routine (famous last words). Thank you for bringing up this topic. Everyone has trauma, many of us have childhood trauma, and The Crappy Childhood Fairy (aka Anna) is a great place to start to understand ourselves.
Betsy, wow thank you. You GET it. Freeze is like a blob that paralyzes you more and more. You cross over into "dangerous freeze about monetary stuff" and bills and old parking tickets, and yes—house messy BUT I am working on this and getting better. Not everything is in total freeze. Going for walks…yes. Today for example, I could still do that. I sometimes (more and more rarely) take ice baths and that unfreezes me paradoxically. Coherent breathing? I will go look for that. And why can't today be the day I JOIN Anna's workshops. One of them. It seems insurmountable. Yes, I am in functional freeze, can only write and do research but not much else. I need help with what on earth my brain is doing at this point. Thank you for taking the time to share your story and what you see in my words, it's really helpful. That moment of confessing the whole "freeze" thing. Not easy.
Feels like this has been most of my life!! I tried making lists so I can cross things off and encourage myself... only there always seems to be 10 things that need to be done in order to start the first thing on the list so I wander about in a state of distraction not really having ganas to do anything. Surely it is something they are dropping on us from the skies? lol
I console myself by reading Ecclesiastes ;) all is vanity....
In Rod Dreher's book "Wonder", he talks about the need for re enchantment of the spiritual if we want to flourish in this post Christian world. He says concentration and focus is crucial if we want to be in touch with the spiritual, that you can't pray well if you aren't paying attention. He, being Orthodox, focused on the Jesus prayer as his priest had told him to do..... for an HOUR!!!! He said it was extremely difficult but he was having serious health and personal issues ... and after some wks he had major improvement. Dreher touches on demons and UFOs as well, and how culture is changing. It's interesting and I'm trying to implement his suggestions to hopefully curb my wanderings.
We will get through this slump eventually, all of us!
PS... I rarely make my bed. If I pass by the ruffled covers in the day I just tell myself - oh, the maid was here early to turn them down.:)
Make your bed, Sadie.
You'll be gently shocked.
In a good way.
Well said, Betsy. Sounds like you are on your way.
“I’m into next level “freeze” over here, since arriving in ——, —— nn. Might be altitude partly.
Simply don’t do what I need to do or want to do or write down on a bulletin board on post its that I must do, today.”
Me. Totally me. I am amazed at how many things I can put off or ignore. Part of me is waiting for a knock at the door, to ‘get’ me for all the things undone. Part of me knows the way out is to help others. But that’s also partly how I got here. And those currently in my sphere to help are also related to original trauma. All very twisted up. So part of me (currently the most in charge) figures that this freeze, this quiet, is my way (eventually) out.
Big sigh. Big hugs. Carry on!
You sound like my own mind. We are onto the path of this thing. We are onto it. We must keep going.
A good start is to not (ever) listen to Jordan Peterson, if indeed one ever did. Not listen to any "discipline" advocates who obviously SPENT THEIR LIVES BEING ADMIRED so don't have advanced brain damage. Still, I agree with him about "make your bed," and I always do. But the way those types THINK people let their lives fall apart because they lack "discipline" betrays a shameful ignorance of the truth and "science" of brain damage induced by layered and early extreme trauma, also adult trauma. All together it makes quite the bomb.
I don't think it is discipline we lack.
Peterson is a hack and I do not believe that he's not still an addict. I'm sour on that whole Peterson-Russell Brand - etc. "influencer" circle. For one, they're all now "Christians," say what? And selling Christian apps for $$ on their shows.
Agree. I fell for the Peterson thing a little. Never could tolerate Russel Brand but tried. Are they operators or are they just sort of unconscious and driven?
I think Peterson does not understand PTSD and the brain. He's probably helped people but I'm not interested in people who reject the truth about trauma and the brain.
They wind up saying: "I stand with Israel" and not flinching when children by the thousands are blown up. That's trauma induced de-sensitization if you ask me.
People who didn't get love from their mothers or had cold mothers tend to be in full support of Israel. Has anybody else noticed this?
I also fell for them both a little. Then after months I gradually came to see them for the charlatans they are. I mean, making $$ hand-over-fist.
Peterson doesn't really understand trauma, I agree: And I think his approach is stoicism, mixed with some of that old motivational speaker stuff. He does not understand how those of us with deep-seated trauma become paralyzed, and we can see what we should be able to do but we just can't bridge the gap that keeps us from doing it.
Yeah the "I stand with Israel" - whut. I am not taking "sides" on that because it doesn't matter what I think but these are influencers, and they should just not say anything - IMHO. Or maybe just always side with goodness - which is perhaps just praying for the people on any side of the conflict who are innocent victims.
Agree with those supporting Israel without thought - it appears to have an authoritarian side. Is this the new "woke rightwing" thing I'm starting to see some people talk about?
"SPENT THEIR LIVES BEING ADMIRED so don't have advanced brain damage"
Self-aggrandisement is a mental disease.
There is a point where all the discipline in the world cannot ignore the fact that we live in a society that has accepted the death cult and its machinations. For me, I told many former acquaintances that I am not putting my shoulder to the wheel of progress for the psychopaths. Hence, the ostracisation. I do tell them that as soon as our society sees that a fundamental shortcoming of Mammon Worship is universally acknowledged then our society will recognize that it does not exist on a paradigm of Food Security., and if we can't feed ourselves, what are we working towards?
Doing too much for others at the expense of our own health or sanity is a fine line, isn't it? I've done the same. I finally had to stop 10 years ago when it nearly killed me. Since then, I have learned a lot about codependency. It's really an underrated "dysfunction" as I find that it is really devastating when experienced at a high level. I have 2 sisters who are off the charts - and I can't even be around them. I found plenty of the tendencies in myself, of course. My way of avoiding them was to stay single. I figured that out 20 years ago.
I do love helping others and I get to do some of that at my job, which helps. It's all about degrees, isn't it?
I can't begin to tell you how far I took this. Nearly killed me too. It's insanity when it kicks in. And the "recipients" don't care. Last person whose life I "saved"…kicked me so hard in the heart, metaphorically, I refuse to even describe it as yet.
Please never go to Connecticut and to a random man's house and try to save his whole life, people.
I took it way too far rescuing dogs. I ended up losing everything. It was bad.
It's like an emptiness with trauma where we think we have to do and give ALL or else we will be …what?
Disappear? I think that might be it for me, anyway.
It's as if our actions define us - and if we aren't proving we are SO GOOD then we disappear into nothing. I have had to work on this and I will tell you, re-embracing my true Christian roots helped more than any therapy ever has.
In a quieter state of mind this morning, I'm reading through the discourse on this thread. Not often do I make time to get in true listening mode and read this far down the exchange because other necessities intervene.
Typically labor, vigorous walking, lampooning life's absurdities, and silly humor are what get me through another day. The latter survival tactic is what prompted me to post this aimed at your remark, "My way of avoiding them was to stay single".
It's another gem from Wayne's World: "Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries".
GREAT NEWS from a few weeks ago when I took Anna's online class on childhood PTSD. I took that class because she mentioned that she had a serious head-injury in her younger days that put her unconscious and in the hospital AND I had a serious head injury in 7th grade from football (unconscious for 16 hours and a migraine for a week) (my dad did NOT trust doctors and hospitals so I wasn't taken to either and NOW I can see his wisdom). In fact I thought he was unbalanced in saying this "I saw more blood and guts at the hands of doctors and medics (in World War II in the South Pacific battles that he fought in ) THAN I DID FROM BULLETS AND BOMBS." His words today are now what I call wisdom - after COVID and vaccines.
In Anna's course she had an exercise where one says a word on the exhale for 20 minutes. She advised to choose a word or use the word "THIS". So I said "THIS" on the exhale for 20 minutes. Seemed like the act of a crazy person. Later in the day I did it again but used the word "LENZ" - it felt better. The next day I switched again to "HUMMM" an easy relaxing exhalation. After two days of this I realized that the tightness to my neck, in turning to my left which has been greatly restricted since 7th grade, was noticeably improved. So as a "test" I played golf, a sport where one has to look left (my bad side) on every shot and every putt several times. And every swing is a "pull" from the left side. I figured this would set me back with all of this left sidedness. But it didn't! There was NO setback - no loss of flexibility that I have gained from this exhalation drill.
What's I've noticed is that this "exercise/drill/technique" IS WAY more effective than the deep-tissue massages, electronic stimulation and active-release therapies that've had for decades. Today, when I look to the left, instead of feeling the restriction I've had for decades, I feel as though I just had therapy (at $120 per session) that has freed up the tension caused, per Anna by the NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE THAT WAS NEVER HEALED IN ALL OF MY LIFETIME AS A RESULT OF THAT SERIOUS FOOTBALL INJURY THAT SHOULD HAVE EITHER KILLED ME OR CAUSED ME TO BE A QUADRAPLEGIC (I was tackled by two bigger boys and landed on my head - which broke my helmet - WITH both of them on my back).
If this reads like fiction or a miracle, you are observant. But I am a PhD former bio-statistician so I understand the importance of controlling for variables, etc. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL.
Anna's "exercise"/"drill"/"procedure" changed my neck issue after 50+ years seemingly permanently when the best I ever experienced was a day or two of relief from "active release"/"Deep tissue" massage/etc. Those procedures were not addressing the fundamental neurological damage. They were releasing the tightness of the muscles temporarily.
I thought that Anna was promoting ("selling") "Woo Woo" (out there stuff) but I can say with 100% certainty that this drill works and I am now a month into this test and there is no setback.
God bless Anna and Celia for all that you do. THe truth of God's wisdom and design "will set you free." including from the severe tightness of neck muscles for over 50 years.
I can thus say with excitement: "Woo Woo!" :)
I suffered two major childhood head injuries, one from hitting the headboard of my parents bed while using it as a trampoline...jumping up and falling backwards. The second was from hitting a tree at about 40 mph with my head while tobogganing with friends at age 13. In both cases I was unconscious for a few hours. Minimal medical treatment followed these. When I was much older I realized that many of the problems I was then suffering from fell into the category of severe PTSD, including severe constant anxiety and panic, auditory and positional dyslexia, confused thinking at times, inability to self regulate emotions and calm myself when triggered, insomnia, hyperactivity, hypervigilence, and here were also many physiological and physical symptoms such as unstable blood glucose and other hormonal imbalances and massive frequent headaches as well as many untreatable spinal and other alignment issues. I am happy to report that I no longer have any of these symptoms today. All gone completely.
While I understand there are many ways to approach trauma treatment, having worked as an acupuncturist in the field of healing trauma for more than 20 years, I have found that for healing my own injuries (mental, emotional and physical) and those of my clients, the most subtle vibrational energy therapies, using only light touch such as Yin Tuina, and Craniosacral therapies released me from my own trauma, and also released many of my patients from theirs. Acupuncture, correctly applied, can also help to restore balance to the nervous and hormonal systems once the unconscious mind is cleared of the trauma memory/vibrational field.
I discovered that much depends on the vibration of the therapist, rather than on the actual skill level with techniques...the most important prerequisite is the ability of the therapist to raise their vibration to a higher level of harmony, wholeness and integration...the vibration of the client then co-resonates and follows...(via a simple law of physics of co-resonance)...the trauma memory can no longer exist in the higher vibe state which does not resonate with the trauma event, and the patient's subconscious mind releases the holding patterns keeping the trauma in place. I also ask the patient, prior to the treatment, to hold as best they can, in their mind, the thought that "I am safe now" and send this message to the unconscious mind where the trauma resides, and where that aspect of the mind is still reliving the trauma, as if it were trapped in time, as if the original traumatic event were still happening. Success also seems to depend on a strong intention by the patient...a deep level decision from the heart, rather than from the head, to release the trauma at all levels of being. I also believe this can only occur once any connected karmic patterns have been resolved through learning...in some cases people have simply not worked through the spiritual life lessons the trauma affords them, so may not be able to release the trauma pattern until that is complete.
I have witnessed many healings of trauma in the past twenty years, some of them seemingly miraculous by our everyday reckoning of what is possible. In my own healing from the tobogganing accident I actually felt the bones of my cranium rotate back into place...and I heard a grating sound and felt the movement, as the first cervical vertebrae separated from the cranium where it had been totally jammed for more than 40 years. All this happened in an instant in response to the therapist placing their hands behind my head the first time and uttering a prayer for my healing.
I also had a healing experience when I remembered the 3 yr. old head injury, during work in a craniosacral class at acupuncture school and I screamed one long drawn out scream, for about a minute while electricity ran up and down my spine and out through all four limbs in a very dramatic somato-emotional release. That day the entire class learned what somato-emotional release actually is. In my case I believe it was a release of trapped energy in the brain stem that had jammed where I had hit my 3 year old head on the headboard of my parents bed in the act of the unrepressed childhood free-abandoned-joy of jumping and falling repeatedly. The girl treating me had only a few weeks training in craniosacral therapy along with the rest of the class. We were novices.
What I learned from my own experience in both of my successful healings, was that the people who treated me were completely unskilled in technique but had the right vibe and it was the right timing, and I was completely ready to let it all go. Prior to this I had tried the same techniques with a very skilled cranial sacral therapist but his vibe was not right, and I could feel it, so nothing happened. I later found that while I was working at Sierra Tucson with many of the residents there who had trauma underlying other problems, that they said the most healing they received for their participation in that $50,000 to 100,000 program was from me and my two fellow therapists there who did acupuncture and cranial sacral combined. Many of them told us they left completely healed by the time they left the program, often from very chronic, deep rooted, and very difficult traumas. They had often exhausted every single option for healing by the time they came to us, and told us we were their last hope.
Lessons from all this: don't give up (it took me 5 years to finish this work for my own healing...persistence will bring success)....trust your instincts about the vibe not the credentials of the therapist, unless they already have a very good track record with this type of release work...our hearts know how things are with people and whether they are right for us. It is the heart and spirit that matters not the head and the physical. Meditate as deeply as you can and bring all of your heart felt intention for healing into the therapy, without reservation. Work on a higher spiritual level to understand if there are any lessons that are being learned...are they complete? What are the obstacles to healing? If not ask to see clearly what the issues and obstacles are, and seek resolution. No one is denied spiritual insights, or healing. We are always answered in the best way we can understand.
I hope some here will find this helpful...
and wishing you all heartfelt blessings in your healing!
Susan
I found this very helpful, thank you. I feel like I am walking blindly through a "dark night of the soul". After taking care of my mother for 26 months until her death (had to move 800 miles to keep my sister, that lived 5 minutes away, from putting her in a nursing home). The trauma of that period is locked up in me in a way I can't seem to dislodge no matter how my body forces me to grieve at the most unexpected moments. The "pressure" inside of me over all of what I experienced (I have 10 siblings, and oh, what a long story) caused another dam break a couple days ago and I woke up the next morning with a bloody eye. I'm not one to run to the doctor and have spent a lot of time learning about alternative healing methods. I'm a bit freaked out by this injury though and the "craziness" but I guess the trauma had to go somewhere. I definitely feel as though I am being forced to face the entirety of my life - almost like a review. Die before you die so you won't die when you die. I need to reread your comment and see what resonates and just keep moving forward without fear. Many blessings to you for all those you have helped along the way.
Ostracisation can be communitywide. I cannot have an actual conversation, except for 5 or 6 people because of the dynamic below:
[It starts with a conversation amongst your kind. When that conversation hits the "no-go" zone: implanted ideology and self-annihilation - the conversation stops immediately and the disparagement and ad hominems begin.
The majority are normies that want their Taylor Swift concert.]
Approaching the fifth year of enforced Mammon Worship on everybody, assisted by the effects of the CoronaPrank and its JewJabs.
And the downside of it all is that my wife needs her social commitments, and so she waters down EVERYTHING that needs to be said.
oh wow. This really hits home.
I can't tell you how much it hits home.
How we long for the lost days of TALKING.
Yes, yes and yes. I've been thinking about all of this, too. I feel like we have different frequencies and attract people/energy/circumstances via resonance with whatever frequency we're operating under. Unresolved traumas seem to trigger frequencies that really mess with me. Shame frequency definitely seems to attract ostracization.
And then there's something thick and heavy that creates inertia. You call it freeze, but often it's something different for me. I'm moving right along and then it's like the poppy fields en route to Oz. I can't finish the task. I need a nap. It's like a haze. Perhaps, the closer you get to healing trauma, the bigger and more overwhelming that journey appears.
Self-love helps a lot. Same for forgiveness. But real forgiveness is its own work.
Ann, what a vivid image. Poppy fields en route to Oz. "I can't finish the task. I need a nap."
Should we stop saying these words "healing trauma?" Maybe? Is it like "The AIDS Virus?" Pairing words that claim a fictional story. Or am I slipping into defeat.
After hours on phone discussing The Syndrome (all this) instead of signing up for anything that might "heal" it.
My parents were both, separately, firm believers in not healing a thing, would never let that word come near them. Both off the charts traumatized.
My father's demon gang called him "Mr. Farber." Straight up bossed him around his whole life, since they took up residence.
I tried to attack them. That's a story with tragic humor for another time. I keep meaning to tell that story and he would not mind.
Absolutely love Anna Runkle and her trauma work has given me an opportunity to truly heal from my childhood and past. It's a journey that has alot of twists and turns but worth every single one of them. As a man I landed in a world dominated by feminine energy ( healing world ) was looked at differently for it and I'm can just imagine the names I gained.
The greatest gift I ever gave myself was the time it takes to heal a broken soul.
Great post , thank you for sharing 🙏
Justin if you'd like to share details we would all be very interested I think. We all kind of wonder if there's hope for us if we do the work. PTSD tricks you into giving up real fast. you know?
Oh boy. That's a loaded question with an ending I'm not sure really exists. I firmly believe in the journey itself and commitment to it. Finding like minded people that are on the journey helps yet for seemed really difficult to find. I had decided to get sober after years of going through recovery the traditional way. Dealing with what happened but never why it happened. This all happened just before lockdowns and the entire world was changing. Fear driven narratives and on the brink of WW3 . Drug epidemic at its peak and mental health flowing rampantly. I clung to it as it was designed and my trauma loved and hated every minute of it. A few months ago the realisation that it was all being done to trigger exactly what I was fighting set in. Anna explained it to a T along with many others. Gabor had me question everything and for that I am truly grateful. It was difficult and I'm pretty sure I beat myself to a pulp voluntarily, for a long time wanting to stop. As you know there is no going back. For 2 years I have been suffering through a neck injury that still plagues me and am currently unable to work from it. I know that part of that is stuck emotions or spiritual blocks yet it still persists. Every path we choose is the path we are meant to in my humble opinion. God's purpose in our lives , or however you choose to see that. There are so many theories and practices at our fingertips. Some will hold and others not. Regaining the strength and confidence to fight again was what ultimately made the difference. I love to draw and paint yet for 2 years could hardly touch a pencil to paper. Everything needed to be perfect or it went in the trash , little nuances that felt astronomical in the moment. The more I worked at it the harder they became. One day it just shifted and I finished a piece. Framed it and hung it on the wall. As if the struggles hadn't happened at all. No real explanation to it other than it simply was. Those shifts happen and creation begins. Go into the places you fear the most , that's where the light shines the brightest. Trauma has become a buzz word and take away from its importance. The world is pushing it on us and the beauty of that is within the push is where we begin to heal. I had no idea there was so much locked inside of me and I'm pretty sure had someone told me it would be like this I wouldn't have signed up. 2 years later I'm grateful for the journey and honoured by the souls that dug with me and helped unearth the brokenness. Finding others to journey with us the hardest and most important piece of the puzzle.
Sorry for the long reply , was hard to stop. Appreciate you taking the time to ask and read.
All the best to you. I know about freezing - not in the same areas as you, but I'm very very aware of it.
Holy cow! Holy shit! I dumped the last known narcissist from my life eight long months ago. Absolutely, the best thing I've done in 2024. No regrets at all.
Have I dealt with the trauma? No, I am also in freeze mode.
I have to process and think a lot more...
Maybe "Covid" threw us into deep freeze even beyond what we had before? Glad we're talking about it. I feel so so relieved. It's not just me!!!
I think almost everyone still has Covid trauma they haven't figured out how to process.
It was far worse than I believe we can imagine. I believe a pressure has been released. Something big is happening.
My depression is lifting and sort of floating away…
Really?
I feel the same way. The past week has been epic. Monday, I discovered that United Health Care was cancelling the thing that kept me sane and healthy, my beloved gym membership, (I believe this was a nationwide cost-cutting measure which applies to all US seniors on their Advantage plan). I was devastated and a certain level of freeze lifted and depression set in.
Two days later, Wednesday, began with the big news of Health Care Avenger, which brought hope. But what really cleared the clouds of depression was the reaction of people in the comment sections, the overwhelming support for his action and the fury at the HC system. Are they finally waking up? Sure seems so.
The depression has lifted. Who needs that fancy gym? It was nice but in the past I lived without it. I’m starting a new fitness regime of running in the park nearby—the cold air is invigorating.
That is great news and a tonic for my soul, Cosima.
Focusing on your fitness regime outdoors is (IMHO) far better than being at a gym indoors. I am certain you understand the magnificent benefits of being one with nature, and getting plenty of sun exposure.
I walked out of my gym (had been a member for 30 years) May 2020 and never returned. I walk a minimum of 5 miles at the beach with my two pups 7 days a week.
The entire “sick care” system is a criminal genocidal cesspool of evil swamp creatures. It was never meant to be anything else.
No one is coming to save us, so we had better learn to save ourselves!
I was just talking about this to my friend in recovery who has a hard time leaving her house since she embraced the "stay at home orders." Now she can only focus on cleaning her home. I told her about this preacher who was visiting my town - his site is www.inyourfacedemon.com and I don't go to church services, but I was like I have to meet this guy! What a great fight - he believes in real spirits that possess, but he includes exorcism of binding the demon of fear, depression, anxiety, stagnation, rejection all the negative strongholds. And I likened the "stay at home orders" as a demon that has possessed certain people. We have to rebel in whatever way we can and say IN YOUR FACE DEMON! I'm going to head to town and purchase goods from a local source, not Amazon. I'm going to go to an in-person 12 step meeting, not Zoom. I'm going to listen to local singers with friends, not stream while I'm cleaning my house, yet again! We are not alone. Rebels Rebel!
YES GREAT!! IN YOUR FACE DEMON. I love that. I wish I had the OCD symptom post Covid of always cleaning my house.
WHY DON'T WE MEET ANYMORE?
I feel experimented on, big time. Tearing wires out of my head like David Bowie in The Man Who Fell To Earth. My mother loved that movie.
Unhealed trauma resides in the deep subconscious and the deep subconscious is distinct from the subconscious. The 2 levels are accessed very differently. Unhealed trauma has an energetic signature that acts as a trigger and is the source of negative beliefs and those two things are usually the source of intractable problems plaguing the current incarnation. If we know about this, and not necessarily the details of the trauma itself, healing can be accomplished. We use what's called Deep Subconscious Channeling/ Trauma Resolution; a newer version called Multi-issue or DSC-TR-MV for short.
Who is “we” …? Link?
whyisthistrue.com
Thank You, Celia.
I met a lot of bullies, growing up on military bases during Vietnam. I was scrawny and smart. I fought back, or ran if there was more than one.
I don't seem to accumulate mean people, though we all meet them.
Thank you again for your efforts.
Amazing Grace how sweet a sound that then would screech my heart
I used to be smart and scrawny but now I'm only smart :- )
Hello again John. I viewed a video interview recently that might interest you.
https://duckduckgo.com/?t=h_&q=strange+scenes+inside+laurel+canyon&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DC_p68VYabic
Too complicated to watch, but I am familiar with the rapid degradation of Laurel Canyon hip-culture with MK Ultra spices, if that is the topic.
Yes, the intrigue and subterfuge surrounding the close workings of cooperative social engineering between Hollywood and clandestine "government"
Good work Celia and others, we do need to heal. I have dealt with rejection for a long time, but don't mind because I signed up for it. The culture and 'world' assumes that the spiritual and the physical are fundamentally different. This false assumption about reality may have something to do with why this world 'appears ' messed up. I am OK with the looks of bewilderment and sometimes do connect in unexpected ways. And feel safe in living by the opposite assumption.
Anna Runkle is an amazing communicator.
Her new book, Reregulated, is very useful, as are her writing techniques. Anna Runkle has been infinitely more helpful than traditional therapists in my estimation.
Djorjovic tennis' ( prospective ex) no 1 - thrived on rejection.
So does any thinking serb.
Many of Berdaeyev 's 'no artist can create unless he despises the world' has been reduced to a 'let's sit around holding hands about how we really ,really would like everyone to agree.'
Let's say that if anyone agreed with me ,I would stop creating.
(Calvin Seerveld 's Rainbows For A Fallen World' has more on that..It's Jeremiah's 'forehead of flint' - Ezekiel's 'bread of man ,baked on human excrement)
-Without skepticism based on mediocracy -Wouldn't have found the world's
first Mini Microraptor (my naming 'sticks' -protocol before synchrotron)
305 Ma 'almost spider'
a speck sized butterfly ON a wasp ( forerunner of first bee)
both ON a
Dragonfly wing.
See top fotos ,ignore words - at www.sofiamusicschool.nl
Teeth of less than hand width 'big' Mini Microraptor's pre 205Ma quite expandable image of teeth ,to extent of fore inner articulated beak /jaw .
Its why I am the only brit to record all solo Bach and all Paginini caprices to concert standard.3Cds.
Ostensibly the fastest - most abundant illegal download ,fully the intention.
It's the Vertigo Project.
Notably -
It did me the world of good - when ,covered in full weeping ezema -aged 9 had one of the very last 1937 Edward 7th 7 minted penny's- BEFORE his abdication..Nice 'H ' directly beside 1937 direct top right in miniature..
Saw it on Blue Peter- showed it to everyone in primary school
nobody believed me,
started raining
used it to get bus home ,a mere 15min walk,painful for slow walking ezema patient.
My mum went nuts ,moving heaven and earth to reclaim THAT penny.
Was only worth about 15 000 quid THEN,about 10 times that now,maybe - to a crazed 'collector'.
Glad I was disbelieved.
very interesting. Hm. thrived on rejection.
Sofia Music School. this I will soon try to learn about.
Tim Fletcher has a website and videos dedicated to healing from Complex Trauma. Andrea Ashley from the Adult Child podcast also has good information. She swears a lot but that does not bother me since I really just want to heal. Perhaps others will find these sources useful in addition to Anna Runkle’s invaluable work.
https://www.bitchute.com/video/7iHJB0pnsW23
Totalitarian trauma explained. WOW.
Chemical Lobotomy - The Brains of The Vaxxed will slowly deteriorate