Dear Celia, Thank you for your wit, wisdom and words. Your written words carry weight and when I read your posts, i am with you, listening. Though we have never met, you continue to make me laugh, think, reflect and pause. God bless you.
Nov 23, 2022·edited Nov 23, 2022Liked by Celia Farber
About listening and being heard--- Early in our child raising (we have 11 children, 9 boys, 2 girls), once when I got home from work, my wife said to me, "You're going to have to get after those boys, they won't listen to me." This went on a few times and I finally told her, "If they aren't listening to you, you have to consider that maybe you aren't saying anything worth listening to." And she was doing exactly that; constantly warning, threatening, pleading, cajoling, but never following through, and the boys knew that. I only said things twice. Maybe they didn't hear the first time, so I said it a second time, making sure they were paying attention. There was no third time. Consequences followed. So always consider that the fault is on your end. Say something worth listening to.
Yes...Stop casting pearls before swine. Another from the Good Book -- and I'm paraphrasing: Jesus told his disciples that if, in the process of spreading the good news (the "Gospel"), they come upon a village where no one listens, they were to dust off their sandals and move on...IOW, spare your head the banging against a wall. Spare your heart the despair of inattention and ridicule. Do not waste your time.
Another very wise person in my life said something similar to what Peterson also said in the clip: "Never mind what people say, Kathleen. Watch what they do." - My mother.
Nov 23, 2022·edited Nov 23, 2022Liked by Celia Farber
Yep, as I've just commented on Mark Miller's Substack, "the Battlelines have long been drawn; the Choices have all been made." It's likely way past too late for changing the minds of the deeply entrenched, blinded sheep who are entirely impervious to data. Rather, it is time for our personal demonstration of what we believe, even at the cost of martyrdom (like our Founding Fathers all pledged the fullness of their very lives for the Cause of America). Lead, follow or get out of our way.
I notice that this whole Con-vid Plandemic Voodoo has really brought it to my awareness how I've been throwing pearls before swine. It really drove it home how I've been talking and talking even when somebody isn't listening. All those years in the entertainment industry - same thing. Nobody listening and my sense of self-honor dwindling. The tragedy of it all is that after decades of throwing pearls and the pigs not listening, I stopped listening too. I stopped listening to myself, I took on swine mentality like an abused child identifies with their abuser. And the comedy of it all is that at the height of not being heard I've lost my need to be heard because it's clear to me that Hollywood is not my world, not my people, not my spirit. I love the The Truth Barrier format (next best thing to inviting you all to my house for some of my home-made raw chocolates) I love hearing, not just your pearls Celia, but I feel so nourished receiving the substack family pearls. Thank you Celia for creating The Truth Barrier and for being such a good DJ for the soul.
Dagmar, what you wrote here is very...core. To the bone. To think of your self honor dwindling makes me feel sorrow. Needless to say, mine was spiraling down as well, and I am beginning to think ALL people who get on the wrong side of some aspect of the "world as it is" wind up in this very weird "place." Start again, Dagmar, (named after a Danish queen)...start over. Listen to yourself. When violence occurs it is often because of something between people--right? As we have discussed. It's also designed to make us the least like ourselves version of ourselves, self-alienation. I can't even imagine what you went through in Hollywood, having met you. I think we're just beginning to get the beginning of 2% of what has gone on there. Thank you for calling me "DJ of the soul!" I love it!
I love what you wrote and feel so similarly. I recall about 20years ago reading that quote "Don't cast pearls before swine." and feeling "Aha! There was another I forgot the exact phrasing of but it involved not putting a bushel basket over your light- or something like that....let your true self shine is what I got from that. They kind of harmonized to me. I always felt unaccepted in the home and it so related to the Cinderella character of the tale. It has gotten to the point for me to avoid the extended family gatherings and I was encouraged with this by those who'd listen to me that were outside of my family. This was prior to the past 3 years, but it always took so long and such effort to recover from being around my family of origin that I finally decided I'd had enough. Every time I'd visit with my father he would turn into an accuser of me. No wonder I was so hard on myself all my life! Never good enough. I'd been programmed early.
You mentioned not being listened to in the entertainment industry.. I was in the speech pathology field helping people be heard. Many couldn't speak, but we always felt a strong connection in my office together. I think it was a good choice for me but it ran its course. I cherish the good memories, until the system started to really crumble. I noticed I had stopped listening to myself to stay afloat in it. (That's a story in itself)
I too love Celia's posts. I so look forward to them! I feel a kinship and true understanding. I am truly grateful for this.
Thanks for sharing your experience Kelly. I love the word "kinship". It feels like a sacred word, especially at this moment in time. I got to meet Celia a couple of weeks ago and I recognized her from afar as she was walking across a field, I recognized her by her light. She emanates this kind of feminine warmth along with this spark of intelligence - a rare combination. I too am grateful to have found her and this substack family. I'll end by saying that I hear you :)
Thank you Dagmar for hearing me! I heard you too. For true communication- one needs a receiver of the message, and I feel that often here on this substack. I know I sure hear the messages in this substack. Would love to have the opportunity to meet Celia too. She must really radiate. It comes through her writing for sure. Thanks for your responding.
It took me 3 years of marriage to understand that my husband did not hear what I was saying. I would tell him something and a few minutes later, he asked me that exact same thing. Years later, when we divorced and a second marriage ended with abuse, the therapist told me that my first husband was an abuser, too, but in a sophisticated way - not listening, always wanting things his way, ridiculing things I did and telling me what a poor housekeeper I was etc. If you have this with people you consider friends, find other friends. These people are not.
Critical information can be everywhere around us yet not be seen or heard until someone is ready to listen. Often it is right in front of their eyes or so blatantly obvious or logical that it can be frustrating to those who already see. It is often the ones we are closest to who won’t hear what we have to say. I had to learn the hard way that less is more, and to wait until someone asks a question or ponders the issue before sharing.
Funny, but in this era of constant covid, I read your headline and immediately thought, "see, I was right; it doesn't pay to try to convince covidians about the truth." I guess that thought still is valid, even though that's not where you were heading.
Listening well is a talent that must be cultivated. Listening poorly is, IMO, a sign that the listener has little or no respect either for the person talking or for what he/she is saying. I have been acquainted with a number of people who, for whatever reason, will talk a blue streak often when given the chance; the "you can't get a word in edgewise" kind. I learned over time that the absolute best thing to do in those situations is to keep my mouth shut and really listen. You can't imagine how much good will comes of that simple gesture.
Gold!! One nit: good phone convos with faraway friends *can* happen while walking dogs. (Cat folks have an inadequate understanding of this.) ;-)
More seriously, the OT text quoted second-most often in the NT (behind Psalm 110) is the chilling-enigmatic indictment of Isaiah 6:9-10: "...Keep on listening, but do not perceive; render the hearts of this people insensitive, their ears dull... Otherwise they might... hear with their ears... and return and be healed." https://nasb.literalword.com/?q=Isaiah+6%3A9-10
wow. That's gorgeous. Ok, yes, point taken, about phone convo and dogs. It just became a pet peeve no pun intended when a few friends always called me while walking their dogs, BECAUSE they were in a "I'm walking my dog" trance of some sort. Hard to explain. I generally believe in NOT "multi-tasking" while speaking with a person, to give "undivided attention," but I often do not. Dilemma.
Nov 23, 2022·edited Nov 23, 2022Liked by Celia Farber
Another fitting quote from the Bible:
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." — Matthew 7:6
Truth being like pearls, and people who willfully deny it like 'pigs'. . . . With one big caveat: many people believe their subjective perceptions is the truth, on both sides; and sometimes, truth is not so easy to ferret out, because it is subtle, with many shades of gray, and dialectical ( some truths pushed to excesses become lies ). On the other hand, many people refuse to revise their views in light of contrary evidence, meaning: they willfully cling to a demonstrable lie, for a variety of reasons ( often: fear ). It doesn't make them necessarily evil, like the self-interested deceivers / obfuscators who push the lie ( depending on the severity of the lie ), but it means you shouldn't waste your time trying to bring them to reason. Truth can also be used as a weapon, in a bad way ( to hurt / humiliate ). Humility and kindness, on both 'sides', are key — I am pretty sure that's in the bible, too.
Nov 23, 2022·edited Nov 23, 2022Liked by Celia Farber
I would ask Jordan Peterson, "Where would we be if Jesus gave up engaging the conservative Jews after the Pharisees and the Sadducees called him 'possessed'?" Jesus kept on. You never know what the fruits of your actions are and, according to Krishna in the Mahabharata, the fruits of your actions are none of your business. You proceed with your Dharma nonetheless. And Jesus' younger brother James, a most conservative Jew, became after Jesus' death one of his most devoted disciples, was martyred with his brother's name on his lips. We just never know. We can't give up, even when called names by family members. I was, by 14 of 15 family members. The 15th reached out to me. He's now reading The Real Anthony Fauci. You just never know...
I'm happy to report that my aunt and uncle are reading it. My cousin David, their son, is reading it. I'm rereading it for the third time. I think RFK Jr. has, with considerable contributions from you on that amazing AIDS section, written the rough draft of history.
Mark 6:6 - Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits.
These were His instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. AND IF ANY PLACE WILL NOT WELCOME YOU OR LISTEN TO YOU, LEAVE THAT PLACE AND SHAKE THE DUST OFF YOUR FEET AS A TESTIMONY AGAINST THEM."
Dear Celia, Thank you for your wit, wisdom and words. Your written words carry weight and when I read your posts, i am with you, listening. Though we have never met, you continue to make me laugh, think, reflect and pause. God bless you.
Thank you Patrick. I am most pleased when I see I have caused somebody to laugh. Something sacred about laughter as the keeper of the truth flame.
About listening and being heard--- Early in our child raising (we have 11 children, 9 boys, 2 girls), once when I got home from work, my wife said to me, "You're going to have to get after those boys, they won't listen to me." This went on a few times and I finally told her, "If they aren't listening to you, you have to consider that maybe you aren't saying anything worth listening to." And she was doing exactly that; constantly warning, threatening, pleading, cajoling, but never following through, and the boys knew that. I only said things twice. Maybe they didn't hear the first time, so I said it a second time, making sure they were paying attention. There was no third time. Consequences followed. So always consider that the fault is on your end. Say something worth listening to.
Yes...Stop casting pearls before swine. Another from the Good Book -- and I'm paraphrasing: Jesus told his disciples that if, in the process of spreading the good news (the "Gospel"), they come upon a village where no one listens, they were to dust off their sandals and move on...IOW, spare your head the banging against a wall. Spare your heart the despair of inattention and ridicule. Do not waste your time.
Another very wise person in my life said something similar to what Peterson also said in the clip: "Never mind what people say, Kathleen. Watch what they do." - My mother.
"Actions speak louder than words." And boy, do they!
Yep, as I've just commented on Mark Miller's Substack, "the Battlelines have long been drawn; the Choices have all been made." It's likely way past too late for changing the minds of the deeply entrenched, blinded sheep who are entirely impervious to data. Rather, it is time for our personal demonstration of what we believe, even at the cost of martyrdom (like our Founding Fathers all pledged the fullness of their very lives for the Cause of America). Lead, follow or get out of our way.
I notice that this whole Con-vid Plandemic Voodoo has really brought it to my awareness how I've been throwing pearls before swine. It really drove it home how I've been talking and talking even when somebody isn't listening. All those years in the entertainment industry - same thing. Nobody listening and my sense of self-honor dwindling. The tragedy of it all is that after decades of throwing pearls and the pigs not listening, I stopped listening too. I stopped listening to myself, I took on swine mentality like an abused child identifies with their abuser. And the comedy of it all is that at the height of not being heard I've lost my need to be heard because it's clear to me that Hollywood is not my world, not my people, not my spirit. I love the The Truth Barrier format (next best thing to inviting you all to my house for some of my home-made raw chocolates) I love hearing, not just your pearls Celia, but I feel so nourished receiving the substack family pearls. Thank you Celia for creating The Truth Barrier and for being such a good DJ for the soul.
Dagmar, what you wrote here is very...core. To the bone. To think of your self honor dwindling makes me feel sorrow. Needless to say, mine was spiraling down as well, and I am beginning to think ALL people who get on the wrong side of some aspect of the "world as it is" wind up in this very weird "place." Start again, Dagmar, (named after a Danish queen)...start over. Listen to yourself. When violence occurs it is often because of something between people--right? As we have discussed. It's also designed to make us the least like ourselves version of ourselves, self-alienation. I can't even imagine what you went through in Hollywood, having met you. I think we're just beginning to get the beginning of 2% of what has gone on there. Thank you for calling me "DJ of the soul!" I love it!
I love what you wrote and feel so similarly. I recall about 20years ago reading that quote "Don't cast pearls before swine." and feeling "Aha! There was another I forgot the exact phrasing of but it involved not putting a bushel basket over your light- or something like that....let your true self shine is what I got from that. They kind of harmonized to me. I always felt unaccepted in the home and it so related to the Cinderella character of the tale. It has gotten to the point for me to avoid the extended family gatherings and I was encouraged with this by those who'd listen to me that were outside of my family. This was prior to the past 3 years, but it always took so long and such effort to recover from being around my family of origin that I finally decided I'd had enough. Every time I'd visit with my father he would turn into an accuser of me. No wonder I was so hard on myself all my life! Never good enough. I'd been programmed early.
You mentioned not being listened to in the entertainment industry.. I was in the speech pathology field helping people be heard. Many couldn't speak, but we always felt a strong connection in my office together. I think it was a good choice for me but it ran its course. I cherish the good memories, until the system started to really crumble. I noticed I had stopped listening to myself to stay afloat in it. (That's a story in itself)
I too love Celia's posts. I so look forward to them! I feel a kinship and true understanding. I am truly grateful for this.
Thanks for sharing your experience Kelly. I love the word "kinship". It feels like a sacred word, especially at this moment in time. I got to meet Celia a couple of weeks ago and I recognized her from afar as she was walking across a field, I recognized her by her light. She emanates this kind of feminine warmth along with this spark of intelligence - a rare combination. I too am grateful to have found her and this substack family. I'll end by saying that I hear you :)
Thank you Dagmar for hearing me! I heard you too. For true communication- one needs a receiver of the message, and I feel that often here on this substack. I know I sure hear the messages in this substack. Would love to have the opportunity to meet Celia too. She must really radiate. It comes through her writing for sure. Thanks for your responding.
It took me 3 years of marriage to understand that my husband did not hear what I was saying. I would tell him something and a few minutes later, he asked me that exact same thing. Years later, when we divorced and a second marriage ended with abuse, the therapist told me that my first husband was an abuser, too, but in a sophisticated way - not listening, always wanting things his way, ridiculing things I did and telling me what a poor housekeeper I was etc. If you have this with people you consider friends, find other friends. These people are not.
Critical information can be everywhere around us yet not be seen or heard until someone is ready to listen. Often it is right in front of their eyes or so blatantly obvious or logical that it can be frustrating to those who already see. It is often the ones we are closest to who won’t hear what we have to say. I had to learn the hard way that less is more, and to wait until someone asks a question or ponders the issue before sharing.
Sometimes your asking the right questions will cause the person to start pondering
Funny, but in this era of constant covid, I read your headline and immediately thought, "see, I was right; it doesn't pay to try to convince covidians about the truth." I guess that thought still is valid, even though that's not where you were heading.
Listening well is a talent that must be cultivated. Listening poorly is, IMO, a sign that the listener has little or no respect either for the person talking or for what he/she is saying. I have been acquainted with a number of people who, for whatever reason, will talk a blue streak often when given the chance; the "you can't get a word in edgewise" kind. I learned over time that the absolute best thing to do in those situations is to keep my mouth shut and really listen. You can't imagine how much good will comes of that simple gesture.
Celia, this post was like you were talking to me directly. Thank you (and Jordan) for clarifying this for me. You are a gift to humanity.
Lily Tomlin: "Listen with an intensity that most reserve only for talking."
That's great.
There needs to be wisdom. It's certainly okay shake the dust from your sandles if frustration and anger are replacing charity.
But sometimes there is a back door. Maybe you will be listened to sometimes, and increased trust will lead to access listening ears for other topics.
I know that I have dismissed things where I later realized I should have listened.
But yes, there is also a place for knowing you're being heard
Gold!! One nit: good phone convos with faraway friends *can* happen while walking dogs. (Cat folks have an inadequate understanding of this.) ;-)
More seriously, the OT text quoted second-most often in the NT (behind Psalm 110) is the chilling-enigmatic indictment of Isaiah 6:9-10: "...Keep on listening, but do not perceive; render the hearts of this people insensitive, their ears dull... Otherwise they might... hear with their ears... and return and be healed." https://nasb.literalword.com/?q=Isaiah+6%3A9-10
wow. That's gorgeous. Ok, yes, point taken, about phone convo and dogs. It just became a pet peeve no pun intended when a few friends always called me while walking their dogs, BECAUSE they were in a "I'm walking my dog" trance of some sort. Hard to explain. I generally believe in NOT "multi-tasking" while speaking with a person, to give "undivided attention," but I often do not. Dilemma.
Going to add that Isaiah.
Another fitting quote from the Bible:
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." — Matthew 7:6
Truth being like pearls, and people who willfully deny it like 'pigs'. . . . With one big caveat: many people believe their subjective perceptions is the truth, on both sides; and sometimes, truth is not so easy to ferret out, because it is subtle, with many shades of gray, and dialectical ( some truths pushed to excesses become lies ). On the other hand, many people refuse to revise their views in light of contrary evidence, meaning: they willfully cling to a demonstrable lie, for a variety of reasons ( often: fear ). It doesn't make them necessarily evil, like the self-interested deceivers / obfuscators who push the lie ( depending on the severity of the lie ), but it means you shouldn't waste your time trying to bring them to reason. Truth can also be used as a weapon, in a bad way ( to hurt / humiliate ). Humility and kindness, on both 'sides', are key — I am pretty sure that's in the bible, too.
I would ask Jordan Peterson, "Where would we be if Jesus gave up engaging the conservative Jews after the Pharisees and the Sadducees called him 'possessed'?" Jesus kept on. You never know what the fruits of your actions are and, according to Krishna in the Mahabharata, the fruits of your actions are none of your business. You proceed with your Dharma nonetheless. And Jesus' younger brother James, a most conservative Jew, became after Jesus' death one of his most devoted disciples, was martyred with his brother's name on his lips. We just never know. We can't give up, even when called names by family members. I was, by 14 of 15 family members. The 15th reached out to me. He's now reading The Real Anthony Fauci. You just never know...
That's incredible. I'm happy for you. That book is a spell-breaker. Even if people only see it and don't read it.
I'm happy to report that my aunt and uncle are reading it. My cousin David, their son, is reading it. I'm rereading it for the third time. I think RFK Jr. has, with considerable contributions from you on that amazing AIDS section, written the rough draft of history.
So many people merely engage in “conversation” to hear themselves.
I experience it time and again where the eyes glaze over while they await their turn to spew forth the next pearl of their “wisdom”
Jesus's guidance supports this issue.
Mark 6:6 - Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits.
These were His instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. AND IF ANY PLACE WILL NOT WELCOME YOU OR LISTEN TO YOU, LEAVE THAT PLACE AND SHAKE THE DUST OFF YOUR FEET AS A TESTIMONY AGAINST THEM."