I was at lunch, at this conference, and got several texts actually begging me to block A. Didn't have my laptop.
Raúl and I left the table, walked back to his house and my laptop, and now I did as was suggested.
I don't think this post is "navel gazing," and I have given many many "warnings" and indications that I am daring to focus on how un-addressed trauma wrecks lives. I am not vulnerable to criticism on that front. Many other sub stacks can tell you exactly what is in the serums, various other fact and science based approaches. I will ban anybody who gets nasty. Lesson learned. Nasty is an unmistakeable frequency. Nobody has to be here or read any of this! I'm happy with my new thinker skin, for the record. Going back to lunch now.
I'm glad that you blocked A personally. I read some of the comments they posted. It was nasty. What is interesting to me is that I just had a talk last night with my 12 year-old son who I am home schooling. I told him that everyone has a devil and an angel inside of them and its up to him to choose which one he listens to. Does he see the worst in everyone, think that they are laughing at him etc or does he give people a chance, is he kind towards others? That is what I think about A, he or she or it (maybe its a bot) is channeling evil. A has chosen to listen to the devil inside of them. He is not kind towards others.
I wish kids were given more information about normal growth and development , as well as disordered growth and development - so that they CAN recognize that a bully's repeated behavior is actually a psychosis .
Celia, although we have never met, I feel like I know you fairly well from reading your articles and reading about you. You are a beautiful person, with an attitude of continually bettering yourself. As far as criticism goes, if you are putting yourself out there to the publicc, you sre going to get criticism. It does not matter who you are, or what you say, you will be liked by some and disliked by some. That's just life. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and He might not have blocked anybody, we don't know, but I don't believe He would expect you or anyone else to take endless criticism. It's just pointless to debate someone who will never accept what you say. Block them. You don't need that in your life. God bless you and please keep up the good work and take as many rest breaks as you need. It's important to look after yourself.
Thank you Dutch, for the kind words. I feel that Anna Runkle has created a new "space" for so many people to be a little kinder to ourselves and accept that we have, yes, brain damage, and can't "read the room," like others can. I'm very happy we saw those sheep. I get very happy over all the small things. I want to live in a kind world. That also means BE more kind. Not get "triggered."
This is uncanny timely! I had a ‘nasty’ barb sent to me the past week and have been processing it every way I know including reading your posts on it. The recent full moon in Aries seems to have brought contention and bullying out for lots of folks!
But I got stuck with moving on about the ‘how’ to do that as it’s a close family member. Reading your comment just now, I realise that’s why they were reacting this way - they imagined I was the ‘bully’. 🤣
Well there it is - the Hall of mirrors. All I need to do is not engage. Period. They are dreaming an old past memory.
Thank you, Celia, for offering this timely topic.
May we all awaken each other up from our nightmares. 💨
It does become a Hall of Mirrors doesn't it? I agree timing is getting uncanny too. We are all thinking about the same things in the same moment. It seems.
Yes, you're right about the full moon. But the next one on the 11/15 should be a better full moon. Maybe everybody gets obsessed with music or something.
One of the comments made by Agent Roger whatever was ugly and crude (and misogynistic) way worse than anything posted by A. He also knew how to access my personal email and sent me an unsolicited private message which was creepy and unsettling. How he knew how and why he bothered to send me a private message is more than uncomfortable. To scare me ? I’m looking to see if my posting here on substack allows strangers to access my personal information. I don’t want someone like “Agent Roger” to know who I am and how to find me. It’s why I assume most people use a pseudonym. And, I can understand why you’d block A, but it’s obvious he was the only one who suggested/begged you do so. If I were you I’d be careful who you align yourself with.
Let me explain a bit because you are confused. Here is the way substack works: when anyone responds to a comment made by you, that response will be sent to your email inbox. I don't know if this can be disabled in the settings. Perhaps the "mute" option or the block option prevents responses from getting to your email inbox (the responses from users you have block, not the responses from any other substack user.) You are free to mute me or block me, that's your freedom as a user, as far as I know. If you don't know how, you can search the help page of substack, or read another comment I made where I explained the method.
I apologized for that response sincerely, because in another response from you I felt your were a upset. Did you read that one?
That message I "sent" was just a response to one comment by you. I deleted it fast, because I didn't want the troll to read it. I only responded to you because you seemed to not understand the trajectory the troll was delineating, unfortunately. Sorry again for startling you. It wasn't my intention at all. You were in danger of getting attacked by the troll, like other commenters.
I don't know anything about you and I mean no harm. The "Agent" part of my pseudonym is ironic or sarcastic, depending on the wheather.
Perhaps you missed that other people also responded the troll and also asked for moderation or for a ban. Celia is slow to anger and quick to forgive, so the ban was not immediate. And the troll was given plenty of opportunity to come around.
Did you read all the messages from the troll? They were getting worse and worse. It was eerie, at least for me. So many invectives in such a short period of time. Ooof.
I hope this message clears your confusion about this incident.
**edit: I forgot to mention that I do not have access to your email, and I do not know your email address. Though you should know that the author or a substack you subscribe to does know your email, because the authors have a list of the usernames and emails of all their subscribers, provided by the substack software. They don't have access to credit card information as far as I know; a third party, the payment processor company, takes care of that information, which liberates the authors from a big responsability (custody of credit card numbers), and also liberates the customers from fear of weird people learning that information. It's a neat system, isn't it? I think this is all explained in the terms and conditions that no one reads.
Anyway. If you are concerned about privacy, you can use the strategy that many people use, of employing secondary email addresses for these thigns like newsletters, twitter, forums, etc. They use that with the purpose of protecting their primary email address. You can have as many email addresses as you want.
I’m thinking you are actually Artificial Intelligence. Your responses are robotic. You only dropped into the conversation to troll A. You never offered anything personal about yourself while A. Was human in all her responses. When I asked her to post references she did so right away. And Celia never responded to her actual accusations. I’ve always admired Celia because I was also there when AIDS took hold and saw clearly what was going on. I know she wrote a series of articles about it at the time but I haven’t been able to find them. Her book was a disappointment and lately, especially during this discussion, I believe she’s lost her way. Most of her posts are either short blurbs about shocking events or self serving. That she wasn’t aware that Miller abused her own son was disappointing. But yes, I don’t know who you are or even if you’re a real live person, frankly I don’t care. I know now however how to spot A1 and because of you (and perhaps your twisted motivation all along) Im no longer interested in Celia. She’s got too many issues to work out to see the first through the trees.
how unkind...I hope posting this made you feel better. Completely unnecessary in my view. Good that you have chosen to leave this site.
I was on a Zoom meeting and was mightily impressed with how Celia handled so many strangers with humility and a bright inner light so open to the unknown.
Whoa! I thought when one supports (financially or otherwise) a person it’s more symbolic than actually buying the right to criticize every opinion they express or action they take. When you love and respect another human being and are grateful they exist in your life you don’t need to agree with them on every point. It takes amazing courage to put yourself out in the world in print. I have been grateful for Celia since that fateful moment back in the 90’s when I found her article in SPIN magazine which taught me what not to fear and who not to trust.
Liane, wow, have we been together in time and space (though we never met) that long? Back in the SPIN years I somehow never understood that anybody who did not work there read the magazine. Very strange idea, I know, but I never understood that, quite. Like…people are reading this? Life gets stranger by the hour.
Celia, stand your ground and do what you need to do to heal. Please don't let yourself be gaslighted by a narcissist who is emotionally abusing you.
The progress you have made in becoming the person God always meant for you to be is commendable and important. Keep going.
Another book you may want to add to your arsenal is one that has been very important to me in my healing journey: "Boundaries and Relationships" by Charles L. Whitfield. In fact, most of his books are worthwhile.
Cheryl, thank you—I never heard of that one, by Charles Whitfield.
I still wish I could have understood what I did to upset "A" so much. But it's not possible now, I'll let it go. Ralph told me it was getting really vicious so I didn't read it.
Thank you Anna, I appreciate so much that you are so judicious about that label—and I guess I agree, she showed definite traits. It was like a cold, cold wind coming through. I am really familiar with this frequency. I can't wait to talk to you!
Anna your story about Halloween and your kids and those awful neighbors really helped me understand my own life. These kinds of stories border on paranormal. I was so upset on your behalf and have been in that spot myself over and over and only recently begun to close some of the wounds. I wanted to "understand" it.
You didn't do anything, Celia, and that was the problem. It sounds like "A" glommed onto to you in an attempt to get an unmet need assuaged: she wanted you to tell her, over and over, that what she shared with you was valuable, as that would make her feel valuable. Ironically, her behavior was almost an advertisement for the trauma she must have experienced somewhere along the line (most likely childhood) and the trauma responses she unconsciously fell back on to survive. It's sad, but it's important to not let our boundaries become enmeshed with those who would happily drag us down with them.
I speak from 54 years of experience: all of my relationships were enmeshed in some way because I did not get my emotional needs met as a child. If it had not been for Alice Miller and "The Body Never Lies," which I stumbled upon three years ago, I don't know that I'd have ever understood my issues or ever been able to overcome the neuroses that were taking me prisoner.
Cheryl I am going to read it either tonight or tomorrow morning. It seems I set off some of the anger storm by invoking Alice Miller. Not sure. But that one I will read—I read the one called Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, and Prisoners of Childhood of course.
I must admit that part of me finds this contemporary world shocking. When I was young and poor, I sometimes dreaded getting the mail because of the bills. Now it's checking my email in the morning because there might be some shocking and upsetting communication. This is not how it is supposed to be! I wish I knew Siobahn, personally--my interactions with her have left me incredibly impressed. But, yes, I am glad you blocked this person too.
I spent last Saturday at an artist's compound in the woods pressing cider. We all sat around and peeled the bruises from the apples and threw them in the barrels of water which the kids fed into the press which the men operated. The cider was delicious. They don't have TV or phones and everything--or I mean everything, they built themselves. Art was everywhere. They had literally created and holistically absorbed their art. The neighbors came to help with the press. Not a phone in sight. In fact, I don't think there was reception. Everything about this felt right.
That sounds heavenly. A.M. I dread email too. I want to be making cider with you! Raul and his girlfriend Greta they make vinegars and olives from their own trees.
We are working on the olives and have some on a tree--but our coolish coastal conditions will probably never yield enough to press. I would so love to have enough olives to press as do Raul and Greta! God bless, Celia.
You're right. Jesus wouldn't block anybody. And he won't block you, either. So, I'd urge you to process your feelings through your Christian worldview. In other words, don't leave Jesus out of your healing process. He loves you. Heck, I love you and I've never met you before or exchanged a word outside of Substack articles. From my perspective, it's encouraging watching you evolve and work through your life issues. You are giving a lot of people hope for their own life transformation. I have no idea what the kerfuffle was that prompted this posting (nor do I really want to know), but from everything I've seen, you're an honest, stand-up person, and I think you want the best for everybody around you. I think you live a pretty cool life (I've never been to Alzaina, for instance) even if it seems like there is trouble. I happened to attend a men's Bible study this morning, and one of the verses we looked at was James 1:2-4. I think it applies to your situation right now: "2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." It may feel rough right now, but you are being made "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." So, soldier on and cling to Jesus, girl.
Soldiering is good! David _would_ have to pick James 1:2-4, but perhaps that is what you needed. I might pick something more like Matt. 5:38-48, noting that it demonstrates a principle: do not return evil for evil. Return good for evil. Returning evil for evil spirals downward. Returning good for evil can have a neutralizing effect on the evil but more than that, the example you set can change the situation and even other people.
I find James 1:2-4 harder to take in, or 1 Peter 4:1-2, although they both closely align with other teachings, and with the way of life that Jesus presents. For someone dealing with major CPTSD, though, there might be other principles that need to be applied first.
I'm Megan (my name's in my bio), and I wandered in here from a referral from another Substack author, having no idea what to expect. Then I saw PTSD and CPTSD turning up in the posts and decided to have a closer look, which took me to this post and this comment from David. (We know each other "online".) Between you and Anna Runkle I have been hearing about things I have been experiencing for oh, 70 years or so, and I am not accustomed to running into that, anywhere. So you got my attention!
I identified the effect as "some kind of PTSD" years ago -- I can't remember how long -- but connecting it strongly with childhood events didn't begin to happen, cause with effect, until quite recently. I believe that change came only in answer to prayer.
I had recognized my need to forgive the harm that my parents' behavior cost me (Matt. 6:12 and the principle of Matt. 5:38-48). I did that after coming to understand some of the things that happened to them that help explain that behavior, particularly their WWII experiences ending just five years before I was born.
My father also had a physically abusive father, and my mother lost her first husband to the war in Germany (weeks before it ended), but I had known about those things most of my life. The rest I discovered in genealogical records, family history accounts, and newspaper clippings. Then after the war along came me, a "defective child". That is a eugenics term that was in medical use when my parents were themselves growing up, and having one seems to have been more than they could deal with.
My birth was traumatic for both of us, and my mother declined to chance going through another like that, so it was just the three of us from then on. Our home was its own war zone. They both died in their 50s, leaving me to carry on the battle alone. Or, you might say, "soldier on", for 74 years now and counting.
I haven't listened to all of the video that you posted here, but I heard and understood Anna's description of what this feels like, and it was a very good match. I have my own words for it, but her words work just as well. I stopped as she went into her "what to do about it". I have an approach that is working, and I shared a portion of it above. There is more, but the focus shifts to what is happening with other people, and seeking to share with them things they might need to hear and receive.
The principle is that the focus must shift from my needs to the needs of others, yet healing must continue. CPTSD will tend to interfere, and my response to that is not to try to fix it myself, which clearly, after decades of trying, is not very effective, but to pray for healing so that I may continue doing things that might benefit others. It is a replacement of emptiness and hurt with purpose.
Physical disability also interferes, and there are things I need to learn about and do so that I don't make things worse, but again my primary response is prayer for healing, along with understanding of what to do.
I haven't found the online world, with which I have been involved for most of my adult life, to be a particularly effective way to reach out to people, and I have been spending much less time at that of late. Some of what you are running into may be people that are quite intentionally wanting to mess with you and others, and quite possibly being paid to do so. Some of it may even be from bots; who knows.
Others may be promoting a particular agenda, with no intention of learning anything, self-reflecting, or changing. I can sometimes detect this by asking them just the right question. "No response" in that situation is a clear answer. Or "change the subject".
Over the years that I have been online there has been that dread that comes after posting something, anything. It comes while waiting for replies. I think it might be starting to let up now, at last. It might also be why I tend to go on and on, putting off the "Post" button. Nevertheless, it's time to hit it now.
what did you have for lunch? love how this internet-induced social awkwardness event is woven into your picaresque bus journey, including missed busses, to a small town near Málaga. this wrapping in context of service to a higher cause at furthest outposts adds such warmth and idiosyncracy.
I've never seen such an unfortunate comment situation handled with such grace. I'm grateful to the subscribers who asked Celia to cut the infamous A. I'd seen some of the comments on previous post and was dismayed by the tone, the disintegration.
the world is full of assholes who want to beat you up and stop you. they've been after you for 40 years. maybe more.
don't beat yourself up. don't do their work for them
you have every right to ban trolls and/or cia/dod infiltrators
on a lighter note, i once got a fortune cookie which told me to "respond to criticism like an artist." i get the sense that whoever came up with that fortune had no idea how funny it was. or maybe the ambiguity stems from translation
"But if I can stay in my skin, when somebody tells me I totally suck, if I can “sit with it,” and not catastrophize, and try to accept the truth of important feedback, and try to get better—there is maturity and healing in that."
Querida Celia…on a more upbeat note, I was at a small gathering yesterday in Escondido, CA at a chiropractic practice, Future Generations, hosted by Stan Hom with Alex Zeck, who did a presentation about infectious disease.
(Basically the ‘false narrative’ that surrounds viruses, and how they are supposedly ‘isolated’ and have never been successfully ‘isoslated’.) The topic of the “HIV virus” came up. (Alex has a podcast The Way Forward and recently did a podcast “Episode 123 -Story-Time: HIV AIDS, The True History & Viral Delusion with Michael Wallace, which I linked below.)
I mentioned your name as being connected to the exposing of “the false HIV narrative”, and many people in the room knew of you and your writing. I see that as a SIGN, that though it may not seem so at present, with the tone and comments from your posts about CPSTD, there are many people out there that know of you and respect the writing you do (and the thinking surrounding it)! Even out here in Sunny SoCA!
What I so appreciate about you , Celia, is that you are truthful, honest, real. Blocking someone obnoxious seems like the right choice, as this is your site. About trauma: I thought that as I aged, and then became old, that trauma was over, no longer affected, over. Yet I have had huge trauma, and I STILL disappear, STILL must consciously regulate. Right now I am sitting after a terrible fall on my way to work, tripping over a lip of cement. I've unconsciously forced myself to stop and look and listen. AGAIN. Anyway, thank you very much.
I hope you get better soon. Do you like bone broth? It can be incredibly healing and also soothing. Take a beef bone and boil it 2 hrs—salt, pepper, cayenne, bay leaves, onion, garlic.
I’m very happy you blocked her/him. (No other pronouns!!). Whoever A was it was futile to try and help the arrogance, self obsession and denial A had… too boring to go on about it. Happy they have been jogged on!
Seriously?! You removed my comment telling nothing but the legal truth?! Why should I be surprised?? I've found that several Substackers are extreme free speech violators!!
"Onward, (so-called?) "Christian" soldiers..."!!
Unless someone is an obvious shill-troll, or making a threat of physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently, people shouldn't be blocked or banned AT ALL, for in all but those circumstances it is violating freedom of speech, both domestically and internationally.
See Brandenburg vs. (the State of) Ohio: Free speech includes "offensive" and "unpopular" speech.
I know, like the rest of us, "you" have been longtime false-propagandized and brainwashed to falsely believe that businesses and websites "aren't" subject to the First Amendment, but I beg to differ, stridently. Since freedom of speech is unalienable, meaning it cannot legally be taken or withheld from us, we have it everywhere except under very limited circumstances, such as falsely crying "fire" in a theater, or interrupting a court proceeding, unless one has incontrovertible evidence that someone is innocent and the like, etc. Otherwise, thus, NO ONE can legally violate it, including all businesses.
Now for the international law (and I point out that you should notice that there are NO exceptions to it; plus, please take notice of the fact that this law makes it absolutely clear that IT *DOES* APPLY TO WEBSITES AND OTHER BUSINESSES:
"EVERYONE has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions WITHOUT IINTERFERANCE and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas THROUGH *ANY* MEDIA AND REGARDLESS OF FRONTIERS." -- Article 19, Universal Declaration of Human Rights (emphasis mine).
This universal international law is so clear and unambiguous that it shouldn't need any further emphasis.
So, please stop banning and/or blocking people for expressing anger, for anger IS also "protected" legal and "unviolatable" speech, except under the previous scenario where someone is threatening physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently. That is the ONLY exception according to the U.S. Supreme Court, which interprets the U.S. Constitution and LEGALLY RULES AS LAW what it means, what it includes, and what it doesn't include (not always right, but completely correct on this particular issue), therefore even threats are "protected" legal free speech as long as they are not threatening physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently (a lot of people get angry and make threats they don't mean, or that are not likely to actually be carried out or to be carried out imminently; and, in fact, most of those people don't mean them, or don't intend to actually carry them out, imminently or otherwise).
We are also being fraudulently taught and programmed to falsely believe that people supposedly have the right to not be offended, but that would violate the law where the SCOTUS ruled that free speech includes "offensive" speech (Brandenburg vs. Ohio, et al.), thus NO ONE has ANY right(s) to not be offended, period. And, thus, to shut people up, or silence them in a particular venue, because they say something "offensive" and/or verbally threatening (without threats of physical violence that are likely to actually be carried out imminently), IS a violation of freedom of speech.
Celia, you are a lovely woman and this is your space to do with as you please. You do what you must. I do not like critical comments fielded by others about you. Nobody can argue against me that you have a pretty name. All they have to do is whisper it.
Edward! Thank you. I'm about to pass out from exhaustion—I will reply to more comments here tomorrow morning. Sending love to the whole gang, thanks for staying with me today. phew!
Celia, there would be as much of a chance of biDUMB getting a life than of me ever abandoning you precious woman. Of course you are emotionally exhausted. There was a song recorded in my day by Roy Orbison and it seems to have been referential to all women here, far before our time. It was called "Pretty Woman" but originally was titled "Pretty Women" to be inclusive before "inclusivity" was twisted like a pretzel. Thank you gal for being who and what you are.
I am going nowhere and if you so desire, when and if you have any problems with anyone I can and will deal with them one on one and can assure you I will verbally shut them down with logic. Any set back I have I endure but assure you my comeback is far stronger. Once again thank you for being who and what you are. You are cherished by me of course but also many others.
Celia, you are a breath of good air. Following not only your personal journey, but the work you do to enlighten anyone desiring to find truth. If a commenter does not resonate with your personal observations or what you find to be useful for you and wanting to share with others, you are learning to not take it personally. It's hard. Has been for me too. That's why I am one of your followers. As a subscriber I find it all quite resonant; as well as most of what others take away in their comments from your posts. I read all of the comments from A. At first I thought this person just wanted to share information, but it turned into something else. Attack mode took over and by the end I was hoping that A had exhausted all of her/his frustrations so I commented that 'nobody's perfect.' There was a rebuttal. I ignored it. A can't be satisfied. I'm not sorry.
Wonderful little video. People, animals, feeling love. What could be better. Have a wonderful day :)
Alison I was just in the mountains near Malaga, and the air was so clean and delicious. I never thought about air before, or mountain air. It seems I am coming alive like a mummy in the frost mountain, finally able to feel.
Air in Spain in much different that NYC, for sure. I saw a pretty herd of sheep today and thought of you. I live in a rural part of NC near Greensboro (I remember your post a year or so ago, a story about your father; his time in Greensboro, so you have an idea where that is). I hope you continue to have wonderful experiences in Spain. I don't read or hear much about the voices coming from the Spanish. As long as you are enjoying the "air" it should help to strengthen your true heart and heal some wounds. Also, one of your most precious relationships is near you.
Not selling a book , not really aware of even who is Celia Farber , I think that maybe someone sent me something once - however , I had wanted to share a thought here that may help people looking to resolve recurring issues ( Problems that keep happening over and over again ) The temporal can only be explained by the infinite . When the infinite is experienced in an incomplete way , it has a tendency to skew the temporal reality , and show up like a skipping record , ground hog day , the same trouble , over and over . Imagine if you have a palette of watercolors , and one or two colors are missing . The painting you make is never going to satisfy , it will never accurately feel balanced . Because the palette is missing something . "Il manque quelque chose " is what the psychiatrist said to my mom , about my Aspergers father . At that time , in those days , they did not really know about this situation . But it never was right for her . Her life really was difficult . Finally , after a stroke , at the rehab , a darling nurse who had worked with autistic children said to me " Your father is high functioning autisitc , this is not the stroke , he IS this . " I nearly fell to the ground . When I told my mom , I said to her to sit down , before sharing the diagnosis . Suddenly , the world made sense , where as the missing information , like a missing base color in a paint set , was suddenly made aware . When you have trouble , sure , look to the roof to see if a tree fell on it , but also , go to the basement , turn a light on , and look around . See if there is a structural element that could have caused that crack in the roof that the rain is falling through .
Wow . It was a thing , and now , there is a beautiful pattern to it all . They have the ability to follow the system , over the unknown of the emotional state that most of us find ourselves in . IN a way , they are like people that have no problem coloring in the lines . My fathers singularity makes me strong in a way that normally , I would not be . People , especially my poor children , don't understand my perception . Because my kids did not experience the pain . ... As time goes on , I have developed a theory of child growth and development and trauma based glitches . Similar to Piaget , but the opposite ! Each developmental stage requires the giving of an unopened gift , picture a wrapped present , the contents unknown , offered to a child turning five . This Undefined SPACE , the inner workings of the contents of the box , allow the human to enter a new stage , by offering the child of five the acceptance of those who supposedly occupy said space . My Aunt Eleanor gifted me , one X mas , a hippopotomus stuffed creature WITH a tutu . This is incredible to my beaten and neglected and hungry body . It gave me something to hold onto . Later , finding out that hippos were graceful underwater horses , and fierce protectors of their world , I loved the gift even more . Thank you Celia . Let's stay in touch , please .
PS , CULTURE -- is the giving of these boxes . Except , in CULT reality , the boxes turn healthy crisis events into trauma , and in CULTURES , the boxes gifted allow the energetic ( E Motion Al ) growth carry actual GIFTS to the recipient .
Once again, I am amazed at the things I can learn from you. I had no idea that the French had such an attachment for string beans. It had never occurred to me how much different life would be without them. Fortunately, on a recent trip to Costco, I was able to pick up several cases of both French cut and regular sliced cans of green beans. I also picked up some cases of cream of mushroom soup. Unfortunately, they did not have the crispy fried onions that go on the top of that particular casserole. I think it must be a holiday thing.
If you should ever find yourself in a position where you are unable to get a good string bean, I want you to know that you are welcome to as much of my supply as you would need. You are the best.
I was at lunch, at this conference, and got several texts actually begging me to block A. Didn't have my laptop.
Raúl and I left the table, walked back to his house and my laptop, and now I did as was suggested.
I don't think this post is "navel gazing," and I have given many many "warnings" and indications that I am daring to focus on how un-addressed trauma wrecks lives. I am not vulnerable to criticism on that front. Many other sub stacks can tell you exactly what is in the serums, various other fact and science based approaches. I will ban anybody who gets nasty. Lesson learned. Nasty is an unmistakeable frequency. Nobody has to be here or read any of this! I'm happy with my new thinker skin, for the record. Going back to lunch now.
I'm glad that you blocked A personally. I read some of the comments they posted. It was nasty. What is interesting to me is that I just had a talk last night with my 12 year-old son who I am home schooling. I told him that everyone has a devil and an angel inside of them and its up to him to choose which one he listens to. Does he see the worst in everyone, think that they are laughing at him etc or does he give people a chance, is he kind towards others? That is what I think about A, he or she or it (maybe its a bot) is channeling evil. A has chosen to listen to the devil inside of them. He is not kind towards others.
I wish kids were given more information about normal growth and development , as well as disordered growth and development - so that they CAN recognize that a bully's repeated behavior is actually a psychosis .
Celia, although we have never met, I feel like I know you fairly well from reading your articles and reading about you. You are a beautiful person, with an attitude of continually bettering yourself. As far as criticism goes, if you are putting yourself out there to the publicc, you sre going to get criticism. It does not matter who you are, or what you say, you will be liked by some and disliked by some. That's just life. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and He might not have blocked anybody, we don't know, but I don't believe He would expect you or anyone else to take endless criticism. It's just pointless to debate someone who will never accept what you say. Block them. You don't need that in your life. God bless you and please keep up the good work and take as many rest breaks as you need. It's important to look after yourself.
Thank you Dutch, for the kind words. I feel that Anna Runkle has created a new "space" for so many people to be a little kinder to ourselves and accept that we have, yes, brain damage, and can't "read the room," like others can. I'm very happy we saw those sheep. I get very happy over all the small things. I want to live in a kind world. That also means BE more kind. Not get "triggered."
oh dear, they were goats, I realized. Not sheep!
You are most welcome Celia. I wish all the best for you. I don't know if you're one of a kind, but I think you are very close.
This is uncanny timely! I had a ‘nasty’ barb sent to me the past week and have been processing it every way I know including reading your posts on it. The recent full moon in Aries seems to have brought contention and bullying out for lots of folks!
But I got stuck with moving on about the ‘how’ to do that as it’s a close family member. Reading your comment just now, I realise that’s why they were reacting this way - they imagined I was the ‘bully’. 🤣
Well there it is - the Hall of mirrors. All I need to do is not engage. Period. They are dreaming an old past memory.
Thank you, Celia, for offering this timely topic.
May we all awaken each other up from our nightmares. 💨
It does become a Hall of Mirrors doesn't it? I agree timing is getting uncanny too. We are all thinking about the same things in the same moment. It seems.
Yes, you're right about the full moon. But the next one on the 11/15 should be a better full moon. Maybe everybody gets obsessed with music or something.
One of the comments made by Agent Roger whatever was ugly and crude (and misogynistic) way worse than anything posted by A. He also knew how to access my personal email and sent me an unsolicited private message which was creepy and unsettling. How he knew how and why he bothered to send me a private message is more than uncomfortable. To scare me ? I’m looking to see if my posting here on substack allows strangers to access my personal information. I don’t want someone like “Agent Roger” to know who I am and how to find me. It’s why I assume most people use a pseudonym. And, I can understand why you’d block A, but it’s obvious he was the only one who suggested/begged you do so. If I were you I’d be careful who you align yourself with.
o hi!
Let me explain a bit because you are confused. Here is the way substack works: when anyone responds to a comment made by you, that response will be sent to your email inbox. I don't know if this can be disabled in the settings. Perhaps the "mute" option or the block option prevents responses from getting to your email inbox (the responses from users you have block, not the responses from any other substack user.) You are free to mute me or block me, that's your freedom as a user, as far as I know. If you don't know how, you can search the help page of substack, or read another comment I made where I explained the method.
I apologized for that response sincerely, because in another response from you I felt your were a upset. Did you read that one?
That message I "sent" was just a response to one comment by you. I deleted it fast, because I didn't want the troll to read it. I only responded to you because you seemed to not understand the trajectory the troll was delineating, unfortunately. Sorry again for startling you. It wasn't my intention at all. You were in danger of getting attacked by the troll, like other commenters.
I don't know anything about you and I mean no harm. The "Agent" part of my pseudonym is ironic or sarcastic, depending on the wheather.
Perhaps you missed that other people also responded the troll and also asked for moderation or for a ban. Celia is slow to anger and quick to forgive, so the ban was not immediate. And the troll was given plenty of opportunity to come around.
Did you read all the messages from the troll? They were getting worse and worse. It was eerie, at least for me. So many invectives in such a short period of time. Ooof.
I hope this message clears your confusion about this incident.
**edit: I forgot to mention that I do not have access to your email, and I do not know your email address. Though you should know that the author or a substack you subscribe to does know your email, because the authors have a list of the usernames and emails of all their subscribers, provided by the substack software. They don't have access to credit card information as far as I know; a third party, the payment processor company, takes care of that information, which liberates the authors from a big responsability (custody of credit card numbers), and also liberates the customers from fear of weird people learning that information. It's a neat system, isn't it? I think this is all explained in the terms and conditions that no one reads.
Anyway. If you are concerned about privacy, you can use the strategy that many people use, of employing secondary email addresses for these thigns like newsletters, twitter, forums, etc. They use that with the purpose of protecting their primary email address. You can have as many email addresses as you want.
I’m thinking you are actually Artificial Intelligence. Your responses are robotic. You only dropped into the conversation to troll A. You never offered anything personal about yourself while A. Was human in all her responses. When I asked her to post references she did so right away. And Celia never responded to her actual accusations. I’ve always admired Celia because I was also there when AIDS took hold and saw clearly what was going on. I know she wrote a series of articles about it at the time but I haven’t been able to find them. Her book was a disappointment and lately, especially during this discussion, I believe she’s lost her way. Most of her posts are either short blurbs about shocking events or self serving. That she wasn’t aware that Miller abused her own son was disappointing. But yes, I don’t know who you are or even if you’re a real live person, frankly I don’t care. I know now however how to spot A1 and because of you (and perhaps your twisted motivation all along) Im no longer interested in Celia. She’s got too many issues to work out to see the first through the trees.
how unkind...I hope posting this made you feel better. Completely unnecessary in my view. Good that you have chosen to leave this site.
I was on a Zoom meeting and was mightily impressed with how Celia handled so many strangers with humility and a bright inner light so open to the unknown.
GGB
I DMd you yesterday about this. I don’t know if you read it but I hope we get to talk soon!
Anna! I just got back to Granada, am so thrilled, and going to email your assistant back now. I speak non stop to all my friends about you!!
That was my publicist. You can write to me at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com, and then I’ll connect with you personally.
I wrote her back. I will write you. I think tomorrow. Overwhelmed and grateful.
You're real!!! haha. (of course you are.)
Whew!!!!
Whoa! I thought when one supports (financially or otherwise) a person it’s more symbolic than actually buying the right to criticize every opinion they express or action they take. When you love and respect another human being and are grateful they exist in your life you don’t need to agree with them on every point. It takes amazing courage to put yourself out in the world in print. I have been grateful for Celia since that fateful moment back in the 90’s when I found her article in SPIN magazine which taught me what not to fear and who not to trust.
Liane, wow, have we been together in time and space (though we never met) that long? Back in the SPIN years I somehow never understood that anybody who did not work there read the magazine. Very strange idea, I know, but I never understood that, quite. Like…people are reading this? Life gets stranger by the hour.
I will write to you privately first, Brother. We can resolve this, I hope.
"grateful they exist" — yesh, some people actually change the course of our lives, our thinking.
Celia, stand your ground and do what you need to do to heal. Please don't let yourself be gaslighted by a narcissist who is emotionally abusing you.
The progress you have made in becoming the person God always meant for you to be is commendable and important. Keep going.
Another book you may want to add to your arsenal is one that has been very important to me in my healing journey: "Boundaries and Relationships" by Charles L. Whitfield. In fact, most of his books are worthwhile.
Godspeed.
Cheryl, thank you—I never heard of that one, by Charles Whitfield.
I still wish I could have understood what I did to upset "A" so much. But it's not possible now, I'll let it go. Ralph told me it was getting really vicious so I didn't read it.
A shows classic signs of malignant narcissism. I almost never say that. She aimed hate at anyone. You did nothing wrong.
Thank you Anna, I appreciate so much that you are so judicious about that label—and I guess I agree, she showed definite traits. It was like a cold, cold wind coming through. I am really familiar with this frequency. I can't wait to talk to you!
Such people ruin it for everyone. Watch the comment section blossom!
Anna your story about Halloween and your kids and those awful neighbors really helped me understand my own life. These kinds of stories border on paranormal. I was so upset on your behalf and have been in that spot myself over and over and only recently begun to close some of the wounds. I wanted to "understand" it.
You didn't do anything, Celia, and that was the problem. It sounds like "A" glommed onto to you in an attempt to get an unmet need assuaged: she wanted you to tell her, over and over, that what she shared with you was valuable, as that would make her feel valuable. Ironically, her behavior was almost an advertisement for the trauma she must have experienced somewhere along the line (most likely childhood) and the trauma responses she unconsciously fell back on to survive. It's sad, but it's important to not let our boundaries become enmeshed with those who would happily drag us down with them.
I speak from 54 years of experience: all of my relationships were enmeshed in some way because I did not get my emotional needs met as a child. If it had not been for Alice Miller and "The Body Never Lies," which I stumbled upon three years ago, I don't know that I'd have ever understood my issues or ever been able to overcome the neuroses that were taking me prisoner.
I've shared some of my own healing journey at my Substack publication, but this essay deals with "Boundaries and Relationships": https://cherylruffing.substack.com/p/boundaries-and-a-bill-of-rights
Cheryl I am going to read it either tonight or tomorrow morning. It seems I set off some of the anger storm by invoking Alice Miller. Not sure. But that one I will read—I read the one called Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, and Prisoners of Childhood of course.
I must admit that part of me finds this contemporary world shocking. When I was young and poor, I sometimes dreaded getting the mail because of the bills. Now it's checking my email in the morning because there might be some shocking and upsetting communication. This is not how it is supposed to be! I wish I knew Siobahn, personally--my interactions with her have left me incredibly impressed. But, yes, I am glad you blocked this person too.
I spent last Saturday at an artist's compound in the woods pressing cider. We all sat around and peeled the bruises from the apples and threw them in the barrels of water which the kids fed into the press which the men operated. The cider was delicious. They don't have TV or phones and everything--or I mean everything, they built themselves. Art was everywhere. They had literally created and holistically absorbed their art. The neighbors came to help with the press. Not a phone in sight. In fact, I don't think there was reception. Everything about this felt right.
That sounds heavenly. A.M. I dread email too. I want to be making cider with you! Raul and his girlfriend Greta they make vinegars and olives from their own trees.
We are working on the olives and have some on a tree--but our coolish coastal conditions will probably never yield enough to press. I would so love to have enough olives to press as do Raul and Greta! God bless, Celia.
You're right. Jesus wouldn't block anybody. And he won't block you, either. So, I'd urge you to process your feelings through your Christian worldview. In other words, don't leave Jesus out of your healing process. He loves you. Heck, I love you and I've never met you before or exchanged a word outside of Substack articles. From my perspective, it's encouraging watching you evolve and work through your life issues. You are giving a lot of people hope for their own life transformation. I have no idea what the kerfuffle was that prompted this posting (nor do I really want to know), but from everything I've seen, you're an honest, stand-up person, and I think you want the best for everybody around you. I think you live a pretty cool life (I've never been to Alzaina, for instance) even if it seems like there is trouble. I happened to attend a men's Bible study this morning, and one of the verses we looked at was James 1:2-4. I think it applies to your situation right now: "2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." It may feel rough right now, but you are being made "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." So, soldier on and cling to Jesus, girl.
I'm soldiering! "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.." I love that. Thank you David.
My pleasure. Any time.
Soldiering is good! David _would_ have to pick James 1:2-4, but perhaps that is what you needed. I might pick something more like Matt. 5:38-48, noting that it demonstrates a principle: do not return evil for evil. Return good for evil. Returning evil for evil spirals downward. Returning good for evil can have a neutralizing effect on the evil but more than that, the example you set can change the situation and even other people.
I find James 1:2-4 harder to take in, or 1 Peter 4:1-2, although they both closely align with other teachings, and with the way of life that Jesus presents. For someone dealing with major CPTSD, though, there might be other principles that need to be applied first.
I'm Megan (my name's in my bio), and I wandered in here from a referral from another Substack author, having no idea what to expect. Then I saw PTSD and CPTSD turning up in the posts and decided to have a closer look, which took me to this post and this comment from David. (We know each other "online".) Between you and Anna Runkle I have been hearing about things I have been experiencing for oh, 70 years or so, and I am not accustomed to running into that, anywhere. So you got my attention!
I identified the effect as "some kind of PTSD" years ago -- I can't remember how long -- but connecting it strongly with childhood events didn't begin to happen, cause with effect, until quite recently. I believe that change came only in answer to prayer.
I had recognized my need to forgive the harm that my parents' behavior cost me (Matt. 6:12 and the principle of Matt. 5:38-48). I did that after coming to understand some of the things that happened to them that help explain that behavior, particularly their WWII experiences ending just five years before I was born.
My father also had a physically abusive father, and my mother lost her first husband to the war in Germany (weeks before it ended), but I had known about those things most of my life. The rest I discovered in genealogical records, family history accounts, and newspaper clippings. Then after the war along came me, a "defective child". That is a eugenics term that was in medical use when my parents were themselves growing up, and having one seems to have been more than they could deal with.
My birth was traumatic for both of us, and my mother declined to chance going through another like that, so it was just the three of us from then on. Our home was its own war zone. They both died in their 50s, leaving me to carry on the battle alone. Or, you might say, "soldier on", for 74 years now and counting.
I haven't listened to all of the video that you posted here, but I heard and understood Anna's description of what this feels like, and it was a very good match. I have my own words for it, but her words work just as well. I stopped as she went into her "what to do about it". I have an approach that is working, and I shared a portion of it above. There is more, but the focus shifts to what is happening with other people, and seeking to share with them things they might need to hear and receive.
The principle is that the focus must shift from my needs to the needs of others, yet healing must continue. CPTSD will tend to interfere, and my response to that is not to try to fix it myself, which clearly, after decades of trying, is not very effective, but to pray for healing so that I may continue doing things that might benefit others. It is a replacement of emptiness and hurt with purpose.
Physical disability also interferes, and there are things I need to learn about and do so that I don't make things worse, but again my primary response is prayer for healing, along with understanding of what to do.
I haven't found the online world, with which I have been involved for most of my adult life, to be a particularly effective way to reach out to people, and I have been spending much less time at that of late. Some of what you are running into may be people that are quite intentionally wanting to mess with you and others, and quite possibly being paid to do so. Some of it may even be from bots; who knows.
Others may be promoting a particular agenda, with no intention of learning anything, self-reflecting, or changing. I can sometimes detect this by asking them just the right question. "No response" in that situation is a clear answer. Or "change the subject".
Over the years that I have been online there has been that dread that comes after posting something, anything. It comes while waiting for replies. I think it might be starting to let up now, at last. It might also be why I tend to go on and on, putting off the "Post" button. Nevertheless, it's time to hit it now.
Thank you, and do keep soldiering!
Very good article! I'd have given you a 'like' but it doesn't work.
I know. the bloody thing has just stopped working altogether. How strange huh?
It's absolutely strange because it works for some but not for others. I guess I'm just in the wrong camp.
it might work on phone but not laptop.
yes this is true, I forgot.
Thanks! "Like" seems to work for me, for whatever reason. Celia said it was broken, but I seem to be able to click it and have it "stick."
I see the likes, so I guess it works for some but not for others.
what did you have for lunch? love how this internet-induced social awkwardness event is woven into your picaresque bus journey, including missed busses, to a small town near Málaga. this wrapping in context of service to a higher cause at furthest outposts adds such warmth and idiosyncracy.
I've never seen such an unfortunate comment situation handled with such grace. I'm grateful to the subscribers who asked Celia to cut the infamous A. I'd seen some of the comments on previous post and was dismayed by the tone, the disintegration.
Grace is a big compliment. I am also grateful to the subscribers who helped me. Lunch! I am going to write a piece from Alozaina. It was magical.
Celia
the world is full of assholes who want to beat you up and stop you. they've been after you for 40 years. maybe more.
don't beat yourself up. don't do their work for them
you have every right to ban trolls and/or cia/dod infiltrators
on a lighter note, i once got a fortune cookie which told me to "respond to criticism like an artist." i get the sense that whoever came up with that fortune had no idea how funny it was. or maybe the ambiguity stems from translation
i put it up on my fridge
You're right they HAVE been after me for 40 years. Sheesh!
bastards
That's great.
"But if I can stay in my skin, when somebody tells me I totally suck, if I can “sit with it,” and not catastrophize, and try to accept the truth of important feedback, and try to get better—there is maturity and healing in that."
THIS!!! 👆👆👆👆👆
Querida Celia…on a more upbeat note, I was at a small gathering yesterday in Escondido, CA at a chiropractic practice, Future Generations, hosted by Stan Hom with Alex Zeck, who did a presentation about infectious disease.
(Basically the ‘false narrative’ that surrounds viruses, and how they are supposedly ‘isolated’ and have never been successfully ‘isoslated’.) The topic of the “HIV virus” came up. (Alex has a podcast The Way Forward and recently did a podcast “Episode 123 -Story-Time: HIV AIDS, The True History & Viral Delusion with Michael Wallace, which I linked below.)
I mentioned your name as being connected to the exposing of “the false HIV narrative”, and many people in the room knew of you and your writing. I see that as a SIGN, that though it may not seem so at present, with the tone and comments from your posts about CPSTD, there are many people out there that know of you and respect the writing you do (and the thinking surrounding it)! Even out here in Sunny SoCA!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-way-forward-with-alec-zeck/id1544492743?i=1000672197375
So take a few deep breaths, cuddle your kitties, have a cup of te de manzanilla, and let go of the “commenter A’s” of the world. You don’t need them.
Speaking for myself, I so appreciate what you write about (all subjects) and look forward to your Substacks in my ‘in box’!
And I am a paid subscriber. You were the first Substack I subscribed to, and then after only a few ‘free’ ones converted to a paid subscription.
Con cariño…FL
There's trauma fields around all the NV stuff for me but…I like Mike.
Oh, thank you dear Frontera, this cheers me up.
I hoped it would! Besos! 😘
What I so appreciate about you , Celia, is that you are truthful, honest, real. Blocking someone obnoxious seems like the right choice, as this is your site. About trauma: I thought that as I aged, and then became old, that trauma was over, no longer affected, over. Yet I have had huge trauma, and I STILL disappear, STILL must consciously regulate. Right now I am sitting after a terrible fall on my way to work, tripping over a lip of cement. I've unconsciously forced myself to stop and look and listen. AGAIN. Anyway, thank you very much.
I hope you get better soon. Do you like bone broth? It can be incredibly healing and also soothing. Take a beef bone and boil it 2 hrs—salt, pepper, cayenne, bay leaves, onion, garlic.
I’m very happy you blocked her/him. (No other pronouns!!). Whoever A was it was futile to try and help the arrogance, self obsession and denial A had… too boring to go on about it. Happy they have been jogged on!
"Jog on!"
—Anna Powell.
Seriously?! You removed my comment telling nothing but the legal truth?! Why should I be surprised?? I've found that several Substackers are extreme free speech violators!!
"Onward, (so-called?) "Christian" soldiers..."!!
Unless someone is an obvious shill-troll, or making a threat of physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently, people shouldn't be blocked or banned AT ALL, for in all but those circumstances it is violating freedom of speech, both domestically and internationally.
See Brandenburg vs. (the State of) Ohio: Free speech includes "offensive" and "unpopular" speech.
I know, like the rest of us, "you" have been longtime false-propagandized and brainwashed to falsely believe that businesses and websites "aren't" subject to the First Amendment, but I beg to differ, stridently. Since freedom of speech is unalienable, meaning it cannot legally be taken or withheld from us, we have it everywhere except under very limited circumstances, such as falsely crying "fire" in a theater, or interrupting a court proceeding, unless one has incontrovertible evidence that someone is innocent and the like, etc. Otherwise, thus, NO ONE can legally violate it, including all businesses.
Now for the international law (and I point out that you should notice that there are NO exceptions to it; plus, please take notice of the fact that this law makes it absolutely clear that IT *DOES* APPLY TO WEBSITES AND OTHER BUSINESSES:
"EVERYONE has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions WITHOUT IINTERFERANCE and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas THROUGH *ANY* MEDIA AND REGARDLESS OF FRONTIERS." -- Article 19, Universal Declaration of Human Rights (emphasis mine).
This universal international law is so clear and unambiguous that it shouldn't need any further emphasis.
So, please stop banning and/or blocking people for expressing anger, for anger IS also "protected" legal and "unviolatable" speech, except under the previous scenario where someone is threatening physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently. That is the ONLY exception according to the U.S. Supreme Court, which interprets the U.S. Constitution and LEGALLY RULES AS LAW what it means, what it includes, and what it doesn't include (not always right, but completely correct on this particular issue), therefore even threats are "protected" legal free speech as long as they are not threatening physical violence that is likely to actually be carried out imminently (a lot of people get angry and make threats they don't mean, or that are not likely to actually be carried out or to be carried out imminently; and, in fact, most of those people don't mean them, or don't intend to actually carry them out, imminently or otherwise).
We are also being fraudulently taught and programmed to falsely believe that people supposedly have the right to not be offended, but that would violate the law where the SCOTUS ruled that free speech includes "offensive" speech (Brandenburg vs. Ohio, et al.), thus NO ONE has ANY right(s) to not be offended, period. And, thus, to shut people up, or silence them in a particular venue, because they say something "offensive" and/or verbally threatening (without threats of physical violence that are likely to actually be carried out imminently), IS a violation of freedom of speech.
Go bite a brick wall.
I write this message with a moderate amount of Franciscan* love, brother Wolf.
* https://biblehub.com/library/ugolino/the_little_flowers_of_st_francis_of_assisi/chapter_xxi_of_the_most.htm
Celia, you are a lovely woman and this is your space to do with as you please. You do what you must. I do not like critical comments fielded by others about you. Nobody can argue against me that you have a pretty name. All they have to do is whisper it.
Edward! Thank you. I'm about to pass out from exhaustion—I will reply to more comments here tomorrow morning. Sending love to the whole gang, thanks for staying with me today. phew!
Celia, there would be as much of a chance of biDUMB getting a life than of me ever abandoning you precious woman. Of course you are emotionally exhausted. There was a song recorded in my day by Roy Orbison and it seems to have been referential to all women here, far before our time. It was called "Pretty Woman" but originally was titled "Pretty Women" to be inclusive before "inclusivity" was twisted like a pretzel. Thank you gal for being who and what you are.
Always Edward
Thank heavens you're here Edward.
I am going nowhere and if you so desire, when and if you have any problems with anyone I can and will deal with them one on one and can assure you I will verbally shut them down with logic. Any set back I have I endure but assure you my comeback is far stronger. Once again thank you for being who and what you are. You are cherished by me of course but also many others.
Always Edward
Celia, you are a breath of good air. Following not only your personal journey, but the work you do to enlighten anyone desiring to find truth. If a commenter does not resonate with your personal observations or what you find to be useful for you and wanting to share with others, you are learning to not take it personally. It's hard. Has been for me too. That's why I am one of your followers. As a subscriber I find it all quite resonant; as well as most of what others take away in their comments from your posts. I read all of the comments from A. At first I thought this person just wanted to share information, but it turned into something else. Attack mode took over and by the end I was hoping that A had exhausted all of her/his frustrations so I commented that 'nobody's perfect.' There was a rebuttal. I ignored it. A can't be satisfied. I'm not sorry.
Wonderful little video. People, animals, feeling love. What could be better. Have a wonderful day :)
Alison I was just in the mountains near Malaga, and the air was so clean and delicious. I never thought about air before, or mountain air. It seems I am coming alive like a mummy in the frost mountain, finally able to feel.
Air in Spain in much different that NYC, for sure. I saw a pretty herd of sheep today and thought of you. I live in a rural part of NC near Greensboro (I remember your post a year or so ago, a story about your father; his time in Greensboro, so you have an idea where that is). I hope you continue to have wonderful experiences in Spain. I don't read or hear much about the voices coming from the Spanish. As long as you are enjoying the "air" it should help to strengthen your true heart and heal some wounds. Also, one of your most precious relationships is near you.
Not selling a book , not really aware of even who is Celia Farber , I think that maybe someone sent me something once - however , I had wanted to share a thought here that may help people looking to resolve recurring issues ( Problems that keep happening over and over again ) The temporal can only be explained by the infinite . When the infinite is experienced in an incomplete way , it has a tendency to skew the temporal reality , and show up like a skipping record , ground hog day , the same trouble , over and over . Imagine if you have a palette of watercolors , and one or two colors are missing . The painting you make is never going to satisfy , it will never accurately feel balanced . Because the palette is missing something . "Il manque quelque chose " is what the psychiatrist said to my mom , about my Aspergers father . At that time , in those days , they did not really know about this situation . But it never was right for her . Her life really was difficult . Finally , after a stroke , at the rehab , a darling nurse who had worked with autistic children said to me " Your father is high functioning autisitc , this is not the stroke , he IS this . " I nearly fell to the ground . When I told my mom , I said to her to sit down , before sharing the diagnosis . Suddenly , the world made sense , where as the missing information , like a missing base color in a paint set , was suddenly made aware . When you have trouble , sure , look to the roof to see if a tree fell on it , but also , go to the basement , turn a light on , and look around . See if there is a structural element that could have caused that crack in the roof that the rain is falling through .
Jennifer, I know what you're speaking of and it's really painful. My father was also Asperger's we think. "Il marque quelque chose."
Beautifully described. A kind of tragedy.
I'm sorry.
Wow . It was a thing , and now , there is a beautiful pattern to it all . They have the ability to follow the system , over the unknown of the emotional state that most of us find ourselves in . IN a way , they are like people that have no problem coloring in the lines . My fathers singularity makes me strong in a way that normally , I would not be . People , especially my poor children , don't understand my perception . Because my kids did not experience the pain . ... As time goes on , I have developed a theory of child growth and development and trauma based glitches . Similar to Piaget , but the opposite ! Each developmental stage requires the giving of an unopened gift , picture a wrapped present , the contents unknown , offered to a child turning five . This Undefined SPACE , the inner workings of the contents of the box , allow the human to enter a new stage , by offering the child of five the acceptance of those who supposedly occupy said space . My Aunt Eleanor gifted me , one X mas , a hippopotomus stuffed creature WITH a tutu . This is incredible to my beaten and neglected and hungry body . It gave me something to hold onto . Later , finding out that hippos were graceful underwater horses , and fierce protectors of their world , I loved the gift even more . Thank you Celia . Let's stay in touch , please .
PS , CULTURE -- is the giving of these boxes . Except , in CULT reality , the boxes turn healthy crisis events into trauma , and in CULTURES , the boxes gifted allow the energetic ( E Motion Al ) growth carry actual GIFTS to the recipient .
Once again, I am amazed at the things I can learn from you. I had no idea that the French had such an attachment for string beans. It had never occurred to me how much different life would be without them. Fortunately, on a recent trip to Costco, I was able to pick up several cases of both French cut and regular sliced cans of green beans. I also picked up some cases of cream of mushroom soup. Unfortunately, they did not have the crispy fried onions that go on the top of that particular casserole. I think it must be a holiday thing.
If you should ever find yourself in a position where you are unable to get a good string bean, I want you to know that you are welcome to as much of my supply as you would need. You are the best.
I love the phrase—got it from Barry, of course. ha!