I'm skeptical of the theory of nervous system dysregulation. But I'm giving it a chance. I have nothing to lose.
I experience often this overwhelming of the senses. Particularly glaring lights and certain smells. I react with a freezing response, usually.
Is this indicative of being neuro-diverse?
I don't know.
In the near future, maybe in less than two years, there may be an approval of ketamine and other hallucinogens. Psychiatrists will be told it is indicated now (indicated means almost the same as mandatory) to prescribe ketamine to people with the so called "major depressive disorder" among many other labels.
I'm choosing to stay away from any medication. I have sub-zero confidence. I'm a bit worried that in this totalitarian atmosphere it might become mandatory to take hallucinogens.
I can joke that one just needs one minute of TV NEWS to have all the healing hallucinatory drugs one desires.
I cannot criticize anyone if they choose to accept prescriptions, because that's their right.
And yet the devouring democratic train looks unstoppable. There will be more coercion for those who resist. People will try to make the "free" decisions of many people an obligation for refuseniks. This is a great present: we will see the rise of libertarians arguing against LSD! The freedom to use drugs is the same the freedom to not use them. Neuroconvergent people who suffer from the vice of institutional thinking obviously cannot accept this freedom. Every action has to be approved or denied, but never chosen freely.
To me it is very important now to separate self-care from politics. I would advice to any therapist who proposes this theory to keep it well separated from anything political. I don't think I'm the only one who runs away from anything that sounds political. Today, using political words like "resilience" or "challenge" is the best way to undermine any therapy. This is it: why patients disappear and refuse to comply with treatments? because the therapists use the same words as the enemy.
"Neuro-convergent people who suffer from the vice of institutional thinking obviously cannot accept... freedom". this sums up my experience trying to talk to the covid-convergent mindless slobs being destroyed from within by appetities manufactured for them by big-ag, big-drug, big... it really is worse than either Orwell or Huxley imagined, due to the revenue streams and attendent disneyfication — that's where Anthony Burgess comes in, with the surrealist Clockwork Orange, updated version of cynical dystopia.
This really resonated with me! It is not a disorder. God designed us perfectly to survive in this fallen world. I also choose to use my "PTSD" for good. Thank you Celia for the encouragement. I feel less lonely at this moment. I would love to read the piece you wrote yesterday.
YES: We are reacting to a very cruel, narcissistic and unfair culture. Corporate culture is THE WORST. And then that ugly culture has branched off into every facet of every type of job, and into our very social lives. No wonder we feel traumatized.
I don't know how to make this short, to point, my stunning realization these past months ,has been this awareness, acceptance, my trauma, unrealized and shoved down, is the cause of my painful life, and I'm 73, , then I see this. At same time I feel better about me. I think it may be beginning healing. It's a realization that stuns one. Thank you, it is helpful.
As a person of your same age(72) I feel that once I moved into my 70’s I felt a ‘shift’ for me. Most definitely a physical one, but emotionally as well. Over the past two years, I came to realize the ‘patterns’ in my relationships (with mother, friends, lovers) and how being attracted or involved with certain types of people, was no longer serving me. I meditated and I learned what all that was about for me, and I consciously did releasing rituals on significant Full and New Moon cycles. I wrote down how their behavior had affected me and that I now ‘released and ‘blessed’ them as well as myself from these “patterns”.
I rolled what I wrote up in a scroll like way, tied it with a red ribbon, and burned it outside in my backyard fire pit. I started to feel the effects of this release within weeks.
I also wrote affirmations of what I now want in my life, and I read them every night before going to sleep. And when a new version of them comes into my mind, I rewrite them. This ‘ritual’ has been very helpful for me.
I can relate, as so many of us can. When we're young we try to cope, to fit in, self medicate in one way or another, until later in life when so many opportunities have been missed and life has almost passed us by, we realize that we have unconfronted traumas. There are so many of us!
Thank you, Celia! I needed this today. Really struggling at my job not to go into dysregulation because of being put in scapegoat status (sound familiar?).
"I have understood that the constant beach combing for “truth” is (at one level) yet another quasi-masochistic form of self-sabotage people with “PTSD” will be drawn to." THIS. I lost my home once because I was so obsessed with dog rescue (and other social activism, like veganism) that I couldn't keep up with work. I self-sabotage. I take on too much of what's going on around me.
This realization caused me to stop being a vegan, get out of rescue, and focus on me. But as stated above, it is VERY difficult to deal with cruel people because of the trauma triggers that still plague me. Am I a wimp? Nope. I am not afraid to delve into the most difficult tasks or deal with the most difficult people. But in corporate culture, this is why I get treated like crap: I am willing to take on too much. So they pile stuff on me and act shocked when I tell them I'm overloaded and say something about it. This is probably a huge issue with many of us who are trying to work through our trauma (still! It takes a lifetime for some of us), and very difficult to navigate.
I absolutely hate feeling like a victim and being in a victim mindset, which is where trauma tends to put me. I'm so glad you are writing about this.
It is absolutely fine to retire from dog rescuing, Marie Rose. Indeed, it is necessary to do so when it threatens to overwhelm your existence. But that said, I think you did a great thing in helping to rescue all those dogs.
Your compassion and empathy for the suffering of others and your urge to relieve it does you credit. And I say the same about Celia's cat rescuing efforts.
I am completely with you, Celia. Thanks for this and I look forward to reading your piece, and more. I've been 'working on myself' for decades (am about to hit 74) and this totally resonated: 'I spent my last $370, grasping at something that failed to even explain to me that spending your last $370 on anything is a trauma symptom.' I've done this so many times. I've been called a 'workshop junkie' but my brain would latch on to the hype and my craving for, as you say 'a place looming so close, where everything would be sparklingly resolved, injustices set right, wounds healed, life begun.' That place is alway just one more workshop, course, meditation program - and hundreds or even thousands of dollars - away.
Valerie this is such a big theme for so many of us. Not theme, actually a form of scam and scandal, how many people were happy to take our money and knew perfectly well we were too traumatized to know what we were paying for. But anger won't help. I hope you saw the Anna Runkle video I posted after this post. I don't want to put too much pressure on her but I really think she has GOT IT. And so do we. Sending you a hug.
Yes, thanks for sharing that, I just signed up for the free course. If it involves writing, I'll do it (executive dysfunction, procrastination) as I've been doing morning pages for over a year now and obsessive journalling. I'm more angry with myself than with the coaches etc. In my case only last year, after spending a fortune on courses and coaching, I realised I had (what they call) ADHD which was basically why none of it worked for me. (The 'symptoms' of ADHD overlap to a great extent with CPTSD.) And then there's the ancestral trauma, layer upon layer, generation to generation... the key to creating 'the more beautiful world' is to release all this trauma. Tons to discuss! BTW how are the kittens? Hugs from Barcelona.
As a person of your same age(72) I feel that once I moved into my 70’s I felt a ‘shift’ for me. Most definitely a physical one, but emotionally as well. Over the past two years, I came to realize the ‘patterns’ in my relationships (with mother, friends, lovers) and how being attracted or involved with certain types of people, was no longer serving me. I meditated, prayed, asked for help from my guides and angels, and I learned what all that was about for me. (In the end our ‘becoming’ is truly an ‘inside job’, not necessarily found through the ‘teachings’ of others.) I consciously did releasing rituals on significant Full and New Moon cycles. I wrote down how their behavior had affected me and that I now ‘released and ‘blessed’ them as well as releasing myself from these “patterns”. I took charge of my own healing.
I rolled what I wrote up in a scroll like way, tied it with a red ribbon, and burned it outside in my backyard fire pit. I started to feel the effects of this release within weeks.
I also wrote affirmations of what I now want in my life, and I read them every night before going to sleep. And when a new version of them comes into my mind, I rewrite them. This ‘ritual’ has been very helpful for me.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad it worked for you. I feel I've been doing all this forever. Maybe I will try this although dare not burn the papers in a fifth floor apartment!
And this is my 3d comment but this speaks so loudly to me, Celia: I believe we're on the same path, and experienced very similar trauma in childhood. We're also around the same age (I'm 61) and even though I went to therapy like 25 years ago, for awhile, it really did nothing, because I didn't understand all this. Now I do, but feel it's only the tip of the iceberg.
I look forward to coming with you on this journey as you write about it - which is the best thing (maybe besides meditation and a plethora of other tools).
Mary Rose, I am really happy to be next to you as we go through this forest, and everybody else here, who seems to suddenly be having this "aha" moment. I will write more soon—have to get up at dawn for a trip to Malaga but please don't think I am vanishing. I am truly hopeful, for every one of us, and it's going to be amazing when we get further along. Keep the joy.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Celia. More "aha" moments to follow, that is for sure. I am working towards keeping the joy (and reading C.S. Lewis is helping!). xox
Given that everything appears to target the mind and create trauma, the only rational response is to consider the traumatized mind first. You are on the money.
fwiw tessa lena says it's time we let go of the victim mindset, let's just take control and start manifesting the world we want to see replacing all this madness
Wow! I truly agree with where you’re coming from! I read Alice Miller’s “Drama of the Gifted Child”years ago and have been fearlessly looking at my childhood traumas related to my adulthood patterns of response to the world. I find it makes me more compassionate with myself and others. Can’t wait to read what you wrote yesterday.
In his book “ The indoctrinated brain” Michael Nehls explains how PTSD, in both the known variant post traumatic stress, and in the not so much talked about pre traumatic stress, PTSD causes the hippocampus to shrink, thereby damaging the ability to store and retrieve memories. He talks about the pre traumatic stress caused by constant messaging about coming pandemics and a coming climate hell. When fear causes the hippocampus to shrink instead of growing as it is supposed to your whole life, these overblown fear messages overwrites. old index neurons, thereby making it harder to find old memories and think in light of old experience. The result is that the constant fear mongering makes you dumber. The mechanism is a shrinking hippocampus. A book worth reading.
I'm in too. I don't remember any specific childhood trauma. (But my dad was a yeller with often unpredictable rises to anger. And my parents fought a lot.) But recent trauma has put me in a tailspin and I really want to change.
Also, one thing I have done is subscribe to Roger McFillin's substack and started going through his 30 day mindset shift. I got to Day 6 and then started procrastinating but it seemed to be helping me.
Is all life now suffering from the trauma of GOD's creation? I too shall experiment, and abstain from using the word "healing". In addition (to those alternate descriptors), I will add, "digesting" and "metabolizing". Trauma Autophagy! Thanks for sharing.
Yes! Neurodivergent burn out and ptsd triggers weekly +. Inner child love, nurture and attendance invited from within. This is not to fix. It's a passage a portal inward. To love itself. Thanks. The Gaza genocide and globalist take over are tipping me over. ♥️🙏
I'm skeptical of the theory of nervous system dysregulation. But I'm giving it a chance. I have nothing to lose.
I experience often this overwhelming of the senses. Particularly glaring lights and certain smells. I react with a freezing response, usually.
Is this indicative of being neuro-diverse?
I don't know.
In the near future, maybe in less than two years, there may be an approval of ketamine and other hallucinogens. Psychiatrists will be told it is indicated now (indicated means almost the same as mandatory) to prescribe ketamine to people with the so called "major depressive disorder" among many other labels.
I'm choosing to stay away from any medication. I have sub-zero confidence. I'm a bit worried that in this totalitarian atmosphere it might become mandatory to take hallucinogens.
I can joke that one just needs one minute of TV NEWS to have all the healing hallucinatory drugs one desires.
I cannot criticize anyone if they choose to accept prescriptions, because that's their right.
And yet the devouring democratic train looks unstoppable. There will be more coercion for those who resist. People will try to make the "free" decisions of many people an obligation for refuseniks. This is a great present: we will see the rise of libertarians arguing against LSD! The freedom to use drugs is the same the freedom to not use them. Neuroconvergent people who suffer from the vice of institutional thinking obviously cannot accept this freedom. Every action has to be approved or denied, but never chosen freely.
To me it is very important now to separate self-care from politics. I would advice to any therapist who proposes this theory to keep it well separated from anything political. I don't think I'm the only one who runs away from anything that sounds political. Today, using political words like "resilience" or "challenge" is the best way to undermine any therapy. This is it: why patients disappear and refuse to comply with treatments? because the therapists use the same words as the enemy.
Everybody will benefit from being a friend, growing vegetables and riding a bike regularly, but
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NEVER DROP ACID.
Really, they might kill themselves to get out of the bad-trip.
Or walking, or hiking, anything that moves the body and gets one back into their body and “out of their heads”. 💓🙏🏻
🎯
"Neuro-convergent people who suffer from the vice of institutional thinking obviously cannot accept... freedom". this sums up my experience trying to talk to the covid-convergent mindless slobs being destroyed from within by appetities manufactured for them by big-ag, big-drug, big... it really is worse than either Orwell or Huxley imagined, due to the revenue streams and attendent disneyfication — that's where Anthony Burgess comes in, with the surrealist Clockwork Orange, updated version of cynical dystopia.
This really resonated with me! It is not a disorder. God designed us perfectly to survive in this fallen world. I also choose to use my "PTSD" for good. Thank you Celia for the encouragement. I feel less lonely at this moment. I would love to read the piece you wrote yesterday.
YES: We are reacting to a very cruel, narcissistic and unfair culture. Corporate culture is THE WORST. And then that ugly culture has branched off into every facet of every type of job, and into our very social lives. No wonder we feel traumatized.
I don't know how to make this short, to point, my stunning realization these past months ,has been this awareness, acceptance, my trauma, unrealized and shoved down, is the cause of my painful life, and I'm 73, , then I see this. At same time I feel better about me. I think it may be beginning healing. It's a realization that stuns one. Thank you, it is helpful.
As a person of your same age(72) I feel that once I moved into my 70’s I felt a ‘shift’ for me. Most definitely a physical one, but emotionally as well. Over the past two years, I came to realize the ‘patterns’ in my relationships (with mother, friends, lovers) and how being attracted or involved with certain types of people, was no longer serving me. I meditated and I learned what all that was about for me, and I consciously did releasing rituals on significant Full and New Moon cycles. I wrote down how their behavior had affected me and that I now ‘released and ‘blessed’ them as well as myself from these “patterns”.
I rolled what I wrote up in a scroll like way, tied it with a red ribbon, and burned it outside in my backyard fire pit. I started to feel the effects of this release within weeks.
I also wrote affirmations of what I now want in my life, and I read them every night before going to sleep. And when a new version of them comes into my mind, I rewrite them. This ‘ritual’ has been very helpful for me.
I can relate, as so many of us can. When we're young we try to cope, to fit in, self medicate in one way or another, until later in life when so many opportunities have been missed and life has almost passed us by, we realize that we have unconfronted traumas. There are so many of us!
Thank you, Celia! I needed this today. Really struggling at my job not to go into dysregulation because of being put in scapegoat status (sound familiar?).
"I have understood that the constant beach combing for “truth” is (at one level) yet another quasi-masochistic form of self-sabotage people with “PTSD” will be drawn to." THIS. I lost my home once because I was so obsessed with dog rescue (and other social activism, like veganism) that I couldn't keep up with work. I self-sabotage. I take on too much of what's going on around me.
This realization caused me to stop being a vegan, get out of rescue, and focus on me. But as stated above, it is VERY difficult to deal with cruel people because of the trauma triggers that still plague me. Am I a wimp? Nope. I am not afraid to delve into the most difficult tasks or deal with the most difficult people. But in corporate culture, this is why I get treated like crap: I am willing to take on too much. So they pile stuff on me and act shocked when I tell them I'm overloaded and say something about it. This is probably a huge issue with many of us who are trying to work through our trauma (still! It takes a lifetime for some of us), and very difficult to navigate.
I absolutely hate feeling like a victim and being in a victim mindset, which is where trauma tends to put me. I'm so glad you are writing about this.
God bless you, Celia.
It is absolutely fine to retire from dog rescuing, Marie Rose. Indeed, it is necessary to do so when it threatens to overwhelm your existence. But that said, I think you did a great thing in helping to rescue all those dogs.
Your compassion and empathy for the suffering of others and your urge to relieve it does you credit. And I say the same about Celia's cat rescuing efforts.
Thank you, Tim. It is good to know I made a big difference in some doggie lives. Including the "foster fails" I have who are 15.5 years old!
I am completely with you, Celia. Thanks for this and I look forward to reading your piece, and more. I've been 'working on myself' for decades (am about to hit 74) and this totally resonated: 'I spent my last $370, grasping at something that failed to even explain to me that spending your last $370 on anything is a trauma symptom.' I've done this so many times. I've been called a 'workshop junkie' but my brain would latch on to the hype and my craving for, as you say 'a place looming so close, where everything would be sparklingly resolved, injustices set right, wounds healed, life begun.' That place is alway just one more workshop, course, meditation program - and hundreds or even thousands of dollars - away.
Valerie this is such a big theme for so many of us. Not theme, actually a form of scam and scandal, how many people were happy to take our money and knew perfectly well we were too traumatized to know what we were paying for. But anger won't help. I hope you saw the Anna Runkle video I posted after this post. I don't want to put too much pressure on her but I really think she has GOT IT. And so do we. Sending you a hug.
Yes, thanks for sharing that, I just signed up for the free course. If it involves writing, I'll do it (executive dysfunction, procrastination) as I've been doing morning pages for over a year now and obsessive journalling. I'm more angry with myself than with the coaches etc. In my case only last year, after spending a fortune on courses and coaching, I realised I had (what they call) ADHD which was basically why none of it worked for me. (The 'symptoms' of ADHD overlap to a great extent with CPTSD.) And then there's the ancestral trauma, layer upon layer, generation to generation... the key to creating 'the more beautiful world' is to release all this trauma. Tons to discuss! BTW how are the kittens? Hugs from Barcelona.
As a person of your same age(72) I feel that once I moved into my 70’s I felt a ‘shift’ for me. Most definitely a physical one, but emotionally as well. Over the past two years, I came to realize the ‘patterns’ in my relationships (with mother, friends, lovers) and how being attracted or involved with certain types of people, was no longer serving me. I meditated, prayed, asked for help from my guides and angels, and I learned what all that was about for me. (In the end our ‘becoming’ is truly an ‘inside job’, not necessarily found through the ‘teachings’ of others.) I consciously did releasing rituals on significant Full and New Moon cycles. I wrote down how their behavior had affected me and that I now ‘released and ‘blessed’ them as well as releasing myself from these “patterns”. I took charge of my own healing.
I rolled what I wrote up in a scroll like way, tied it with a red ribbon, and burned it outside in my backyard fire pit. I started to feel the effects of this release within weeks.
I also wrote affirmations of what I now want in my life, and I read them every night before going to sleep. And when a new version of them comes into my mind, I rewrite them. This ‘ritual’ has been very helpful for me.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad it worked for you. I feel I've been doing all this forever. Maybe I will try this although dare not burn the papers in a fifth floor apartment!
I’m a fan of anything which brings clarity. Thank you Celia.
And this is my 3d comment but this speaks so loudly to me, Celia: I believe we're on the same path, and experienced very similar trauma in childhood. We're also around the same age (I'm 61) and even though I went to therapy like 25 years ago, for awhile, it really did nothing, because I didn't understand all this. Now I do, but feel it's only the tip of the iceberg.
I look forward to coming with you on this journey as you write about it - which is the best thing (maybe besides meditation and a plethora of other tools).
Mary Rose, I am really happy to be next to you as we go through this forest, and everybody else here, who seems to suddenly be having this "aha" moment. I will write more soon—have to get up at dawn for a trip to Malaga but please don't think I am vanishing. I am truly hopeful, for every one of us, and it's going to be amazing when we get further along. Keep the joy.
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Celia. More "aha" moments to follow, that is for sure. I am working towards keeping the joy (and reading C.S. Lewis is helping!). xox
I'm in!
Given that everything appears to target the mind and create trauma, the only rational response is to consider the traumatized mind first. You are on the money.
Thank you A.M. I love how you put it.
have you guys followed margaret anna alice's dialogue with meredith miller? super apropos https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/dissident-dialogues-meredith-miller-1-4
fwiw tessa lena says it's time we let go of the victim mindset, let's just take control and start manifesting the world we want to see replacing all this madness
Medical Orgone Therapy helped me a lot, as did reawakening my relationship with a higher power.
Wow! I truly agree with where you’re coming from! I read Alice Miller’s “Drama of the Gifted Child”years ago and have been fearlessly looking at my childhood traumas related to my adulthood patterns of response to the world. I find it makes me more compassionate with myself and others. Can’t wait to read what you wrote yesterday.
By 2024, the ideas of Alice Miller are pretty basic.
She was a controversial figure in real life, who did not necessarily practice what she preached.
This book was really useful to me (the "emotionally immature" in the title is an understatement):
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Lindsay C Gibson
In his book “ The indoctrinated brain” Michael Nehls explains how PTSD, in both the known variant post traumatic stress, and in the not so much talked about pre traumatic stress, PTSD causes the hippocampus to shrink, thereby damaging the ability to store and retrieve memories. He talks about the pre traumatic stress caused by constant messaging about coming pandemics and a coming climate hell. When fear causes the hippocampus to shrink instead of growing as it is supposed to your whole life, these overblown fear messages overwrites. old index neurons, thereby making it harder to find old memories and think in light of old experience. The result is that the constant fear mongering makes you dumber. The mechanism is a shrinking hippocampus. A book worth reading.
I'm in too. I don't remember any specific childhood trauma. (But my dad was a yeller with often unpredictable rises to anger. And my parents fought a lot.) But recent trauma has put me in a tailspin and I really want to change.
Also, one thing I have done is subscribe to Roger McFillin's substack and started going through his 30 day mindset shift. I got to Day 6 and then started procrastinating but it seemed to be helping me.
It is work for sure.
Is all life now suffering from the trauma of GOD's creation? I too shall experiment, and abstain from using the word "healing". In addition (to those alternate descriptors), I will add, "digesting" and "metabolizing". Trauma Autophagy! Thanks for sharing.
I like “digesting”.
A Canadian Grandma
Yes! Neurodivergent burn out and ptsd triggers weekly +. Inner child love, nurture and attendance invited from within. This is not to fix. It's a passage a portal inward. To love itself. Thanks. The Gaza genocide and globalist take over are tipping me over. ♥️🙏