41 Comments

So there I was, all those years ago, rounding the end of aisle 7 on my way to aisle 8. I knew, technically, that I wasn't supposed to open the jar of Jif before checking out at the register. But I had every intention of paying, so I thought: no harm, no foul. And this woman, who evidently had the odd habit of proceeding up and down the aisles in descending order, was also prematurely savoring a Hershey's Giant Bar as she approached the end of aisle 8. Wheel of Fortune was on at 7, so I was in a bit of a hurry, and as it turned out, she was motivated by a similar sense of haste. The actual collision occurred where Little Debbie snack cakes were on a buy 2 get 1 free special.

I was momentarily stunned by the impact. But as I regathered my wits, I noticed bits of Hershey in my Jif. I felt a swirl of emotions ranging from annoyance to human concern, but I did point out to her that I had chocolate in my peanut butter. She remarked in kind that she had peanut butter on her chocolate. We soon realized that these were two great tastes that went great together.

Today, our three children born of that happy accident are named Reese, Jif and Coco.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7oD_oX-Gio

Expand full comment

Excellent!

Expand full comment

So do your children know the “origin story” of their names? 😉🤔

Expand full comment

Fictional, for humor only 😉

Expand full comment

That’s the BEST story!

Expand full comment

😄

Expand full comment

Hip Pocrates sez: Let food be your love medicine !

Expand full comment

Como Agua Para Chocolate (Esquivel)

Expand full comment

Es possible. Pero no es mas major que Reeses.

Expand full comment

Long ago my psychotheratist revealed the true reason I was addicted to carnivals wasn't the rides but the roasted peanuts. Did TV-land pay equal homage to Snickers bars too (I dont watch TV)?

Expand full comment

I thought I got a lentil man, he sneaks around with the lettuce. Don’t rush into marriage like I did.

Expand full comment

THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! So nice to have news that charm and romance is still alive. L' Amour Vaincra!

Expand full comment

Haha, this is nothing new. Go to your favorite grocery on a Friday or Saturday night, 7 to 8 PM or so, browse for a single lamb chop (or whatever suits your taste), and SHOP AROUND 😄

It's what I did when I was single. Never single for long.

Supermarkets and grocery stores are always well lit, quiet, and not full of drunken idiots. Everything a bar isn't.

Expand full comment

All you Zappa fans. keep an eye out for the mud shark aisle :- )

Expand full comment

Can't I just call any vegetable?

Expand full comment

When Frank w/Flo & Eddie brought us the mud shark the world was a different place. 53 years later, yes, I'm certain any vegetable would be just fine.

Expand full comment

Zappa and the Mothers of Invention did "Call any vegetable" in 1966, before Flo & Eddie (Turtles) came on the scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDropFVIIZ0

Expand full comment

Thanks for the reminder that I gotta get off a this all carnivore diet.

Expand full comment

Frank died of prostate cancer, they say...

Eat more cooked tomato products for the lycopene.

Expand full comment

Terribly unItalian of him. Although our garden had a modest tomato yield, I've eaten enough to resurrect Frank. But he's not interested.

Expand full comment

Sending this to my daughter who just moved to Spain to play volleyball professionally, who often says "I'll die alone!" because she's 6'2. Thanks, Celia. I'll let you know if you've saved her from a life of loneliness...😂

Expand full comment

Mary please let us know what happens!

Expand full comment

Spain has pretty good basketball. Not to worry.

Expand full comment

You're so sweet. I will.

Expand full comment

I’ll always remember Jennifer Long, who, by virtue of alphabetical proximity, sat in front of me in home room throughout high school. She was ultimately, I think, 6’ 1”, with a gorgeous face, and possibly a small crush on me. If only I hadn’t been so painfully awkward and inept. I was one of a relative few who could look slightly downward into her face.

Expand full comment

If you want tall kids, marry a tall woman.

Expand full comment

That's what my husband did...

Expand full comment

The produce aisle was always the spot for singles back in the day. I believe it was bananas, cucumbers and summer squash. Tasteless I know.

Expand full comment

Best kid's name you're possibly able to come up with out of that mix is "Summer".

Expand full comment

Any Rafa updates?

Expand full comment

Oh he's great, thank you for asking. I guess nobody would get too annoyed if I write a 3,000 word Rafa update...? I don't want to alienate anybody but he DOES get fan mail. :)

Expand full comment

It would be great to hear a little about the little guy and see a couple pics:)

Expand full comment

Coming up. I promise!

Expand full comment

A brilliant move by the marketing manager of that grocery chain!!

Expand full comment

Um, Can't believe I'm the first of 40 comments to note this... I can't speak for Spain, but pretty sure that donning a pineapple symbol in the US among the under 40 set does not indicate monogamous amorous interests. My gf had a pineapple image on her tote bag at the gym and was perplexed why she was consistently getting curious looks in the ladies locker room, until a younger friend informed us of the convention.

I hate to burst your bubble of innocent hope about your feel-good story, and maybe the symbolism doesn't translate across the pond as I assume, but my surmise is that this is not quite the christian-style dating IRL you were hoping it is. I'd guess further that it may derive from the old urban legend that the eaten pineapple sweetens the taste of semen. Yikes! Seculars gotta sate their urges, too. Ha! Sorry to the feint-of-heart for TMI. My disclaimer is this: It's a complex world out there, which no amount of prudishness or selective ignorance will change to order or make go away. In any regard, it's nice to observe that the body and nature continue doing what they do best, and that mutually consenting love (by any measure) is in the market for trade, gifting, barter and maybe more. Enjoy your pineapples!

Expand full comment

This little vignette reminds me of an ITV satirical show in the UK called Not The Nine O'clock News and this particular episode had a sketch in which the news anchor was reading out he top three stories of the day. ."And now tonight's headlines: The Queen's corgis have caught a cold, but veterinarians are reporting an improvement in their condition; Madge from Coronation Street (long running UK TV soap opera) is splitting up with husband Don to find love with Dennis; and oh World War Three has just broken out!" With a very real existential threat of WW3 really breaking out imminently , it's comforting to know we can take solace in upside down pineapples and crashing shopping carts!! "Those who are sane in an insane society are themselves, by definition, insane!"

Expand full comment

This is a brilliant organic way for singles to meet.

The produce section was always my favourite place to meet women.

Expand full comment

Does anybody remember discotheques?

What has become of us?

Vegetable Gardener https://doortofreedom.org/the-attack-on-food-and-farmers-and-how-to-fight-back/#johnday

Expand full comment

I lived for a short 2 year stint in Santa Fe NM in the late 90’s early 2000’s. There was Whole Foods Market there that had recently opened. Rumor had it, the way ‘to meet someone’ in a Santa Fe, was to cruise the produce aisle or hang out at the ‘olive bar’! I was never successful. 🤭🥰😂

Expand full comment

Guys might have been at the Pizza counter or the alcohol isle.

Not sure most guys could name more than 1 type of olive: Black.

OK, possibly Green.

That's it.

Oops: Celia would know about Spanish Olives

Expand full comment