I used to experience horror every night at the cusp of sleeping and waking from the ages of 14 until 19, and others awake in the same room would feel it too. I knew it was some kind of entity and I knew I had no control. Eventually I told my doctor and he prescribed a blessing. Two women prayed over me in the name of Jesus and bound the spirit of fear. There were probably others praying too. It worked. That thing came back on me when I was in Ireland in my Forties and the Lords Prayer didn't work, but when I called out to Jesus that thing went immediately, and never returned. I was left bathed in love and peace for hours and the horror never returned. My son recently told me he had the same experience, though he didn't tell me for years. Jesus really does save. And I really must try a prayer for the spirit of worthlessness. I get overwhelmed some times by thoughts that what I do on Substack is worthless to humanity. Yet part of me knows it is terribly important. So I know that thought is not my own impulse.
Intelligence is a privilege and a burden. It makes joy very joyful, and sadness very sad.
The friendship of the intelligent is the most intense. The loneliness is also the most intense. The history of literature speaks of this tragedy and this comedy. Even the most successful authors find themselves haunted by terrible emotions.
Perhaps God inspired the Psalms especially for the most intelligent people, who turn out to be adults with special needs (I realize the comedy of this sentence, I hope the reader can realize it's realism).
The legend goes that the Benedictine Monks used to recite the psalms all the time whatever they were doing. Milking goats, that's a good time for psalms. Preparing food, that deserves a psalm. Caring for the bees, great opportunity to recite a psalm. Sweeping the floor would be a waste without remembering a psalm, and so on.
Because there will be bad moments where there is nothing more to do, but wait. Then the monk already has the psalms prepared, like a hunter has the rifle already loaded.
But, let's face it, the intelligent tend to be also the laziest people. So they will skip the repetition of the psalms, in pursuit of more exciting and newish looking things.
Hope is easier than sticking to the plan.
It has to be both: hope and repetition. They save each other, like good sisters.
Someone is posting clips of some Kurt Vonegut these days. I never knew that guy was so funny. A bit too sarcastic. A man of his time, I guess. I think that man secretly mastered hope. He probably never showed it to his nihilistic friends because he cared for them more than they cared for themselves. But the type of comedy he did when giving a talk to other writers.... that's well trained virtue. Because, you know, hope is a virtue.
Anyone who writes for Peace already has hope. Peace is mass virtue waiting to happen. The writer is more like a traveling agent selling tickets.
Any time not task filled or in absence of good mood, I resort to mumbling repeatedly like a prayer. As nowadays talking to oneself is rather common and accepted I even may reveal what, namely: Bobby, Bobby, Bobby Kennedy.....
For me Celia, it gets harder––compassion for demons. Where they are and where they're going are truly the most frightful things we can't even imagine. Free will, yes, they made the choice(s), even with angelic beings always present in etherial realms to aid and assist in the physical. I have this shaman friend who thinks I'm absolutely crazy for feeling this way (she's had a long career as a dreamer shaman, slayer of demons. She hates them, which I guess is understandable considering her life, but that approach doesn't move humanity forward IMO).
Evil serves a purpose in human development. It's a fallen force never out of the potential periphery that we are presented as to how we then transform into a state of harmony (honey). Anybody, any entity is redeemable. That's how you know the Divine path is the real one paved with love, freedom and forgiveness.
Thank you for this Celia. Every believer that I know is being attacked by the enemy at this time. It seems like the hordes of hell have been unleashed on humanity which tells me that the darkness is in fear of what God is about to do. There is a little book by Kenneth E. Hagin entitled The Believers Authority. It was first published in 1967 and is around 75 pages. I am going to read it again tonight because I need a refresh of who I am in Christ and that all demons must flee at the Name of Jesus. Blessings to everyone. WE WIN!
With time I believe you will automatically rebuke the demons and love yourself. You will then smile and feel better. I can say this from experience. When I start saying snarky things in my mind about how stupid or ignorant someone is, or want to blame another for something, or some self loathing, before I get very far into this self conversation it is getting easier to stop myself and think of something pleasant or think about someone I have made friends with. I've had such low self esteem my whole life. It was always: how I was treated as a child into adulthood. How was I supposed to see myself any other way. Express gratitude out loud, ask for God's help; something I never used to do. Over the last four years I have worked on understanding what love is through reading and feeling the same experiences that most people have. People genuinely want to support others. Hearing what millions of people think and believe about our individuality and right to our "selves" and knowing my beliefs and principles are worth everything. We are helping each other. I still fall into thinking my thoughts don't really matter, nobody really wants to hear them; I withdraw. One thing I've learned from that is if that person or group does not want to engage in thoughtful discussion, I should not spend time around them. I now know there are people out there that think and feel just the way I do. I must actively seek them. You are one such person that drew me in. Your open heart and raw description of what goes on inside your mind began to make me realize how important, and individual each and every one of us is. This is the way to the Light we are seeking.
Thank you for including Corinthians 13. A chapter I will read again tonight before sleep.
I'm glad Robert. I wanted to write from "failure," as it were, not from "success." Knowing that there is this small something we can do when we feel so ragged and when we HAVE been so hurt. We don't have to sit in the pile of rubble, we have a way out. I don't blame us for being inconsolable after all this. Anna Akhmatova said once: "We must never forget about despair." Instead of being so sad I have been so failed I look forward to small steps in the right direction.
You showed me love by having the courage to write this and share it - and it is far more gutsy than anything I have ever published here. I needed to read it just now. Thank you. ♥️
When a person is strong and honest enough to be open and vulnerable as you are, we all want to help and give good advice. But we’re all different. We all have different histories, different values, different paths on this journey. To me the teachings in “A course in miracles” makes sense. To think of the real me as the eternal consciousness/ eternal soul, whereas the person everybody can see Hans Peder is just an avatar, a biological computer that allows me to take part in this simulation. This role play, this school. Which means the real me, my eternal consciousness can never be hurt, can never be damaged. Only my avatar, this specific reincarnation Hans Peder. But he is not real, only my soul my eternal consciousness is real. So how can you sin? How can anyone sin against you? If we are all just avatars role playing in a simulation.
We are in this world, and we have to partake in it. But as Shakespeare said, the world is a stage. All is illusions say the mystics from the east. We need to disengage, feel less, observe more.
My God, this came at just the right time for me. THANK YOU. It is very hard to be a Christian. I am working at it. Today was a doozy. I was so angry! I have to figure out how not to be angry - when I'm really just sad or frustrated.
Thank you for the Corinthians and Alison Krauss and Yo Yo Ma as well.
Lovely post. I wish I had a friend like Carol! Then again, I do have a few that are probably similar.
Thank you for your posts Celia. I recommend this related to your post today:
https://russellbrand.locals.com Well worth looking at the content. Russell Brand recently became a Christian and what he has to say on this and many relevant things on the truth (for which he has been targeted like many) I think would be of interest to you. Wishing you well and much gratitude to you.
foundational religiosity is incompatible with a consistent ethical framework as it invariably has the effect of dividing humanity into opposing factions: true believers vs. false believers or unbelievers (heretics); consider the current situation in the Jewish/apartheid state of Israel. the fervor begotten by a belief system or manipulator-in-chief need not be cloaked in spirituality or allegiance to "the divine". "Separated", the documentary premiering this coming Saturday on MSNBC stands as a vivid reminder of what can happen when secular zealots rationalize atrocities, or pretend them away.
I used to experience horror every night at the cusp of sleeping and waking from the ages of 14 until 19, and others awake in the same room would feel it too. I knew it was some kind of entity and I knew I had no control. Eventually I told my doctor and he prescribed a blessing. Two women prayed over me in the name of Jesus and bound the spirit of fear. There were probably others praying too. It worked. That thing came back on me when I was in Ireland in my Forties and the Lords Prayer didn't work, but when I called out to Jesus that thing went immediately, and never returned. I was left bathed in love and peace for hours and the horror never returned. My son recently told me he had the same experience, though he didn't tell me for years. Jesus really does save. And I really must try a prayer for the spirit of worthlessness. I get overwhelmed some times by thoughts that what I do on Substack is worthless to humanity. Yet part of me knows it is terribly important. So I know that thought is not my own impulse.
Oh. Deep reflection here.
Thank you. I like to read reflections like this.
Intelligence is a privilege and a burden. It makes joy very joyful, and sadness very sad.
The friendship of the intelligent is the most intense. The loneliness is also the most intense. The history of literature speaks of this tragedy and this comedy. Even the most successful authors find themselves haunted by terrible emotions.
Perhaps God inspired the Psalms especially for the most intelligent people, who turn out to be adults with special needs (I realize the comedy of this sentence, I hope the reader can realize it's realism).
The legend goes that the Benedictine Monks used to recite the psalms all the time whatever they were doing. Milking goats, that's a good time for psalms. Preparing food, that deserves a psalm. Caring for the bees, great opportunity to recite a psalm. Sweeping the floor would be a waste without remembering a psalm, and so on.
Because there will be bad moments where there is nothing more to do, but wait. Then the monk already has the psalms prepared, like a hunter has the rifle already loaded.
But, let's face it, the intelligent tend to be also the laziest people. So they will skip the repetition of the psalms, in pursuit of more exciting and newish looking things.
Hope is easier than sticking to the plan.
It has to be both: hope and repetition. They save each other, like good sisters.
Someone is posting clips of some Kurt Vonegut these days. I never knew that guy was so funny. A bit too sarcastic. A man of his time, I guess. I think that man secretly mastered hope. He probably never showed it to his nihilistic friends because he cared for them more than they cared for themselves. But the type of comedy he did when giving a talk to other writers.... that's well trained virtue. Because, you know, hope is a virtue.
Anyone who writes for Peace already has hope. Peace is mass virtue waiting to happen. The writer is more like a traveling agent selling tickets.
Any time not task filled or in absence of good mood, I resort to mumbling repeatedly like a prayer. As nowadays talking to oneself is rather common and accepted I even may reveal what, namely: Bobby, Bobby, Bobby Kennedy.....
For me Celia, it gets harder––compassion for demons. Where they are and where they're going are truly the most frightful things we can't even imagine. Free will, yes, they made the choice(s), even with angelic beings always present in etherial realms to aid and assist in the physical. I have this shaman friend who thinks I'm absolutely crazy for feeling this way (she's had a long career as a dreamer shaman, slayer of demons. She hates them, which I guess is understandable considering her life, but that approach doesn't move humanity forward IMO).
Evil serves a purpose in human development. It's a fallen force never out of the potential periphery that we are presented as to how we then transform into a state of harmony (honey). Anybody, any entity is redeemable. That's how you know the Divine path is the real one paved with love, freedom and forgiveness.
Thank you for this Celia. Every believer that I know is being attacked by the enemy at this time. It seems like the hordes of hell have been unleashed on humanity which tells me that the darkness is in fear of what God is about to do. There is a little book by Kenneth E. Hagin entitled The Believers Authority. It was first published in 1967 and is around 75 pages. I am going to read it again tonight because I need a refresh of who I am in Christ and that all demons must flee at the Name of Jesus. Blessings to everyone. WE WIN!
Celia,
With time I believe you will automatically rebuke the demons and love yourself. You will then smile and feel better. I can say this from experience. When I start saying snarky things in my mind about how stupid or ignorant someone is, or want to blame another for something, or some self loathing, before I get very far into this self conversation it is getting easier to stop myself and think of something pleasant or think about someone I have made friends with. I've had such low self esteem my whole life. It was always: how I was treated as a child into adulthood. How was I supposed to see myself any other way. Express gratitude out loud, ask for God's help; something I never used to do. Over the last four years I have worked on understanding what love is through reading and feeling the same experiences that most people have. People genuinely want to support others. Hearing what millions of people think and believe about our individuality and right to our "selves" and knowing my beliefs and principles are worth everything. We are helping each other. I still fall into thinking my thoughts don't really matter, nobody really wants to hear them; I withdraw. One thing I've learned from that is if that person or group does not want to engage in thoughtful discussion, I should not spend time around them. I now know there are people out there that think and feel just the way I do. I must actively seek them. You are one such person that drew me in. Your open heart and raw description of what goes on inside your mind began to make me realize how important, and individual each and every one of us is. This is the way to the Light we are seeking.
Thank you for including Corinthians 13. A chapter I will read again tonight before sleep.
You've certainly helped me with this piece Celia. Blessings and thank you.
I'm glad Robert. I wanted to write from "failure," as it were, not from "success." Knowing that there is this small something we can do when we feel so ragged and when we HAVE been so hurt. We don't have to sit in the pile of rubble, we have a way out. I don't blame us for being inconsolable after all this. Anna Akhmatova said once: "We must never forget about despair." Instead of being so sad I have been so failed I look forward to small steps in the right direction.
You showed me love by having the courage to write this and share it - and it is far more gutsy than anything I have ever published here. I needed to read it just now. Thank you. ♥️
Listen to Carol.
Choose to love yourself.
As a Christian, Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit live inside us.
So when we don't forgive ourselves, we don't forgive God.
When we love ourselves, we are showing Love to God.
As He is, SO ARE WE in This world.
We're already seated With Him in the heaven lies ( because we are ONE together).
It cannot be understood by the natural mind, only in our Spirit, because only the God IN us knows the things of the Spirit.
This life here isn't real, though it feels real.
We are spirit beings. Eternal and connected to our source.
Love yourself, and you love God.
And That is the greatest commandment. 🙏💕
Yes to all of this.
When a person is strong and honest enough to be open and vulnerable as you are, we all want to help and give good advice. But we’re all different. We all have different histories, different values, different paths on this journey. To me the teachings in “A course in miracles” makes sense. To think of the real me as the eternal consciousness/ eternal soul, whereas the person everybody can see Hans Peder is just an avatar, a biological computer that allows me to take part in this simulation. This role play, this school. Which means the real me, my eternal consciousness can never be hurt, can never be damaged. Only my avatar, this specific reincarnation Hans Peder. But he is not real, only my soul my eternal consciousness is real. So how can you sin? How can anyone sin against you? If we are all just avatars role playing in a simulation.
We are in this world, and we have to partake in it. But as Shakespeare said, the world is a stage. All is illusions say the mystics from the east. We need to disengage, feel less, observe more.
There is no religion higher than truth.
H.P.Blavatsky
Yes & our Creator lives in the Light of Truth ...
Love your Candor Celia. Aren't we all in the same boat? I believe I am. :o)
"Dear Team Trump: Don't 'Spike the Football'"
https://naomiwolf.substack.com/p/dear-team-trump-dont-spike-the-football-902
Curious to know your thoughts on how this podcast from Naomi Wolf you linked to relates to Celia's piece.
Hi Tom,
Did you read Celia's piece, And listen to Naomi's audio?
yes
Thank you for that clarification/confirmation.
So than that also confirms my 'Uh Oh, am I losing cognitive abilities?' concern!
& If so, should decreasing-cognitive-abilities awareness cause to curb future posting?
;-)
So, please be patient regarding my retracing to reconnoiter the issue at hand.
I am quite busy currently albeit will be certain to report findings.
--- In the meantime, would you please explain what you liked about the post?
Thank you
Robert ;-)
My God, this came at just the right time for me. THANK YOU. It is very hard to be a Christian. I am working at it. Today was a doozy. I was so angry! I have to figure out how not to be angry - when I'm really just sad or frustrated.
Thank you for the Corinthians and Alison Krauss and Yo Yo Ma as well.
Lovely post. I wish I had a friend like Carol! Then again, I do have a few that are probably similar.
Bless you, Celia.
Celia,
What a beautiful post. So brilliant, so penetrating. Thank you for this.
Thank you for your posts Celia. I recommend this related to your post today:
https://russellbrand.locals.com Well worth looking at the content. Russell Brand recently became a Christian and what he has to say on this and many relevant things on the truth (for which he has been targeted like many) I think would be of interest to you. Wishing you well and much gratitude to you.
foundational religiosity is incompatible with a consistent ethical framework as it invariably has the effect of dividing humanity into opposing factions: true believers vs. false believers or unbelievers (heretics); consider the current situation in the Jewish/apartheid state of Israel. the fervor begotten by a belief system or manipulator-in-chief need not be cloaked in spirituality or allegiance to "the divine". "Separated", the documentary premiering this coming Saturday on MSNBC stands as a vivid reminder of what can happen when secular zealots rationalize atrocities, or pretend them away.