He did not seem at all suicidal. It sounds like he made this decision soberly, but it is devastating nevertheless when someone makes that irreversible choice.
Thank you for letting us know, Celia. Please convey my heartfelt condolences to Richard’s family. I will close with my most cherished poem in times of grief.
“Love Abides”
by Barbara Pescan
Often we are found in our grief and comforted
calmed by some kindness
brought alive again by beauty
that catches us undefended.
Even when the sun is most thin and far
even at the hour the storm is at its height
we can go through
renewal nests within sorrow
love abides, even beyond anger, beyond death.
We are held in an embrace invisible but infinite
moving with all creation
between wholeness and fragmentation
moving always toward the one.
Small joys and great sorrows pass
and we, with steps uncertain, move on
to whatever is next
but continually seen, heard, held
by Life infinite and remote, intimate and abiding.
Hi there Celia this is Rick Battams nephew David Williams. You have been in contact with my wife Amannda and i through her email and now i write to you through mine. I wanted to thank you for all your efforts and heartfelt words and sincere concern for my uncle. When we found your post it was very heart wrenching seeing all the different peoples concern for my uncle. He and I were very close and im beside myself with anguish and questions along with rest of the family he left behind. As is Often the case when something like this happens. It closes the door completely and that is calculated. And in my uncles case... He wanted that he was Very calculated... He felt the world was against him. The mandates brought forward by our govt put him and so many others right now... Being an antivaxxer or so the propaganda goes etc... Into what he saw as an impossible spot. A no way out situation. Having to live outside in the middle of winter was Terrifying to him. More so than death. He lost his job as a result of not getting vaccinated and that snowballed and culminated into him losing his home and all else that goes with it. Yes there was some tough love from the family but in normal times we all just push through and move on. This covid era of govt control has us all jumping through fiery hoops and he just would Not conform to something he did not believe in. I get it... we had great lengthy talks all the time on the subject and had similar thoughts on it all and his intelligence and passion shone through when he was all in on a subject. But it was his dedication to finally being heard that really finished his life off in the end. Lashing out at family who have always been there for him was just his way of keeping the anger up he needed to go through with his plan. I understand that now. None of us had Any inkling about this plan either i will add. And that was also on purpose. He didnt want to be stopped. I could go on about all that but I just cant its all too hard... I finish off with another outpooring of thanks and gratitude to all those that cared. Thank you Celia... Keep reaching out to those in need... You are an amazing person!!!!
... And Finally
To: My wonderful amazing uncle. So kind and such a big heart... So intelligent and full of wisdom and logic and Love. I Love you!!!... Your family Loves you!!!... With all our hearts!!! I hope you have found your peace. Always in our hearts...
Dear David, your letter is very moving. I understand. I really really do. And I believe those here who crossed paths with your unforgettable uncle, all of us ourselves complex humans, also really understand. It all feels familiar. I understand every note. I understand, truly, that he was in some way locked in to and devoted to the idea that all hope was lost, that the world was against him. I understand that you loved him. Ans he loved you. (singular you, and the 'you' that extends to the broader family as well.) Beneath everything. And I am not looking for trite, easy ways out. The love shines through.
I hope you will stay a while, if it feels helpful to you to keep writing about your uncle, who we barely knew and yet as I say, he left an indelible impression. "Unforgettable." I remember when I discovered he was in essence for lack of a better word a socialist. When I wrote about Diana West and he gave me an earful about "anti-communism." At the time I became concerned because in that kind of idea-field, people can get sold on the wrong kind of suffering.
I believe that extreme stubbornness is used by the forces of darkness.
I was very struck by what you said, that this final act was among other things a way of being heard. I have let so many people down, in the last 2 years. I hear them yet do not hear them, because of my own layers of shock, trying to "catch up," trying to remember, trying to paddle forward. I always think there will be time, tomorrow.
David, please receive our heartfelt gratitude that you shared with us these details and also to your whole family. If this can be a place, this very thread, for you to process anything, we welcome your continued presence.
Suicide is a pandemic now, one of the many fallout affects of this deception. Praying for Arby and his devastated family and friends! We are all needing to learn how to really reach out and share love in any and every moment in which we are able.
Intelligence is most definitely a kind of death sentence when one lives in a house where all the other lights are switched off Celia... Conscious awareness can feel like living on a deserted Island and the ability for rational and critical thinking like a form of leprosy.
I did not know this Gentleman but I was born 3 weeks before him and can relate well to his frame of mind at that point where possible oblivion is preferential to a disenchanted existence.
he told me there was NO USE that no amount if fundraising would resolve the problem. I sort of withered and dropped the ball. I wonder, if I had DONE IT ANYWAY, would he have gotten a new flame and decided to live? But these thoughts are futile now.
I think losing his job and home and the degradation of his relationships, the division and disrespect exacerbated by the hysteria; a sense of disrespect…it overwhelmed him.
I don’t understand the significance of his birthday, but it must have factored into his determination. He turned 66 the day before he died.
I hope someone wished him happy birthday. Heartbreaking.
Such a heart and soul you show--a wonderful example to many I am sure. Futile, no; Possibly he was certain about the funds offer(s), and I say that on the guess that Rich "Arby" could not tolerate the world's quakes and groans especially the mind boggling pandemic, nor did he have any more capacity to cope with his own interior responses. I heard that idea somewhere in my travels, put forth as a kind of explanation to those who haven't ever experienced suicidal ideation, itself a clinical deal that is beyond my trainng.)
Celia, thoughts and regrets such as yours is why I believe that suicide is the ultimate selfish act — it really hurts the people left behind... and leaves them wondering, such as what you are doing now. I read his letter. In my assessment, he couldn’t fix himself (e.g., have some consideration for the feelings of others!) and life was just too darn hard. He’s had a life, and now he is older and just didn’t want to do it anymore. At least he is at peace now. You did what you could do, and that’s enough. In fact, you RESPECTED HIS STATED WISHES, so in answer to your question, NO. Given his age, he didn’t have all that many years left anyway. And frankly, leaving that letter didn’t help anyone. As I read it, I felt sorry for his family members. They actually didn’t abandon him, and tried to help a bit. And then he publishes his nasty final letter to haunt them all. What a legacy.
He should have lived in freezing squalor on the streets, in order to spare the delicate feelings of a bunch of internet randos and family members who didn't want to be bothered.
He never asked to be brought into this shit world, and he didn't "owe" it to anyone to keep suffering it on your terms, their terms, Trudeau's terms, or anyone else's.
And then, to top it off, you say he should have done everyone's feelings a favor and just kept his mouth shut and died without speaking his humble piece. "If you can't say something nice," and all that, amirite? "Nasty"? Wow. This is like Pot-on-Kettle rape-porn, Debs.
I'm sorry Trent. Suicide is epidemic now. Snuffing work, family, friends, dignity, hope, future, even absent the shots and the masks, is extremely dangerous as pre-conditioning to self harm or suicide. We should get the statistics. I expect they have concealed them, in the name of Covid.
It is amazing how well some people mask their depression and suffering. I guess this is a reminder to all of us to make sure those we love are *really* okay and not just saying it.
Dear Celia, I think your remembrance of Arby is beautiful.
I think you are right that he did not want to be dissuaded but I think he wanted to be recognized on his way out, which he was here, which is something.
I can’t imagine anyone reading along forgetting him.
I liked his bitchute videos and comments here. He was a smart and kind man.
We agreed a lot with questioning virology and germ theory. We both thought that Dr Tom Cowan is right on that but wrong on other things.
Feels like I lost a brother in this fight.
Rest in peace.
Yeah it can be tiring that even among the truth movement they ignore questioning virology.
It makes it hard to feel hope when you know that even the "awake" are still asleep, trusting clowns like Dr Malone. It's scary to see a snake in the group and be told by the group that I'm the pro vaxxer merely for pointing out this guy.
But I have hope that change will come organically and not from any group.
Oh No!!! I just met him about a month ago. He said It would be nice if we could share a beer in normal times and talk. I followed him because he was honest. Well, he sounded honest to me. Thank you for sharing this news even if it is horrible. May his soul find peace and may we one day share a beer in heaven.❤️
Goodness Celia, this was a touching story. One shudders to think that there may be, or have been, so many others like it. I can't escape the notion that "they really are trying to kill us," either through the poisonous injections or through neglect, intentional extermination of the elderly, or through taking away every option we have to live a normal life. Who among us decides to try to control all of humanity, regardless of the consequences? Is there really that much evil in the world? Apparently there is; it doesn't get much worse than this.
Oh my goodness, Celia, this cracked my heart open. I only just met Arby on January 21 when he left a thoughtful and lengthy comment on one of my posts (https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/letter-to-a-colluder-stop-enabling/comments#comment-4607405). I was so mired in deadlines, I wasn’t able to respond until January 25—which I discovered was after he departed 😭💔🥀
I then recalled another comment (https://celiafarber.substack.com/p/words-from-the-front-spanish-police/comments#comment-4607410) he had made to me at one of your posts, Celia, and I *did* manage to reply to him that same day, thankfully. I know it doesn’t matter to him now, but I’m grateful I at least made that minute connection with him before he ended his life.
He did not seem at all suicidal. It sounds like he made this decision soberly, but it is devastating nevertheless when someone makes that irreversible choice.
Thank you for letting us know, Celia. Please convey my heartfelt condolences to Richard’s family. I will close with my most cherished poem in times of grief.
“Love Abides”
by Barbara Pescan
Often we are found in our grief and comforted
calmed by some kindness
brought alive again by beauty
that catches us undefended.
Even when the sun is most thin and far
even at the hour the storm is at its height
we can go through
renewal nests within sorrow
love abides, even beyond anger, beyond death.
We are held in an embrace invisible but infinite
moving with all creation
between wholeness and fragmentation
moving always toward the one.
Small joys and great sorrows pass
and we, with steps uncertain, move on
to whatever is next
but continually seen, heard, held
by Life infinite and remote, intimate and abiding.
Love, do not let us go. Amen.
Sent from my LG Mobile
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dave Williams <davidwthethird@hotmail.com>
Date: Jan. 27, 2022 9:04 p.m.
Subject: Arby
To: celiafarber@substack.com
Cc:
Hi there Celia this is Rick Battams nephew David Williams. You have been in contact with my wife Amannda and i through her email and now i write to you through mine. I wanted to thank you for all your efforts and heartfelt words and sincere concern for my uncle. When we found your post it was very heart wrenching seeing all the different peoples concern for my uncle. He and I were very close and im beside myself with anguish and questions along with rest of the family he left behind. As is Often the case when something like this happens. It closes the door completely and that is calculated. And in my uncles case... He wanted that he was Very calculated... He felt the world was against him. The mandates brought forward by our govt put him and so many others right now... Being an antivaxxer or so the propaganda goes etc... Into what he saw as an impossible spot. A no way out situation. Having to live outside in the middle of winter was Terrifying to him. More so than death. He lost his job as a result of not getting vaccinated and that snowballed and culminated into him losing his home and all else that goes with it. Yes there was some tough love from the family but in normal times we all just push through and move on. This covid era of govt control has us all jumping through fiery hoops and he just would Not conform to something he did not believe in. I get it... we had great lengthy talks all the time on the subject and had similar thoughts on it all and his intelligence and passion shone through when he was all in on a subject. But it was his dedication to finally being heard that really finished his life off in the end. Lashing out at family who have always been there for him was just his way of keeping the anger up he needed to go through with his plan. I understand that now. None of us had Any inkling about this plan either i will add. And that was also on purpose. He didnt want to be stopped. I could go on about all that but I just cant its all too hard... I finish off with another outpooring of thanks and gratitude to all those that cared. Thank you Celia... Keep reaching out to those in need... You are an amazing person!!!!
... And Finally
To: My wonderful amazing uncle. So kind and such a big heart... So intelligent and full of wisdom and logic and Love. I Love you!!!... Your family Loves you!!!... With all our hearts!!! I hope you have found your peace. Always in our hearts...
Uncle Rick.
Sent from my LG Mobile
Show quoted text
Dear David, your letter is very moving. I understand. I really really do. And I believe those here who crossed paths with your unforgettable uncle, all of us ourselves complex humans, also really understand. It all feels familiar. I understand every note. I understand, truly, that he was in some way locked in to and devoted to the idea that all hope was lost, that the world was against him. I understand that you loved him. Ans he loved you. (singular you, and the 'you' that extends to the broader family as well.) Beneath everything. And I am not looking for trite, easy ways out. The love shines through.
I hope you will stay a while, if it feels helpful to you to keep writing about your uncle, who we barely knew and yet as I say, he left an indelible impression. "Unforgettable." I remember when I discovered he was in essence for lack of a better word a socialist. When I wrote about Diana West and he gave me an earful about "anti-communism." At the time I became concerned because in that kind of idea-field, people can get sold on the wrong kind of suffering.
I believe that extreme stubbornness is used by the forces of darkness.
I was very struck by what you said, that this final act was among other things a way of being heard. I have let so many people down, in the last 2 years. I hear them yet do not hear them, because of my own layers of shock, trying to "catch up," trying to remember, trying to paddle forward. I always think there will be time, tomorrow.
David, please receive our heartfelt gratitude that you shared with us these details and also to your whole family. If this can be a place, this very thread, for you to process anything, we welcome your continued presence.
Sending you all love, from upstate NY--
Celia
This blood is on Trudeau's hands....
Suicide is a pandemic now, one of the many fallout affects of this deception. Praying for Arby and his devastated family and friends! We are all needing to learn how to really reach out and share love in any and every moment in which we are able.
Intelligence is most definitely a kind of death sentence when one lives in a house where all the other lights are switched off Celia... Conscious awareness can feel like living on a deserted Island and the ability for rational and critical thinking like a form of leprosy.
I did not know this Gentleman but I was born 3 weeks before him and can relate well to his frame of mind at that point where possible oblivion is preferential to a disenchanted existence.
Peace and Love on your journey Arby
Celia, you were so sweet to offer to help him…. bless you, dear woman. You showed him that we are not alone in this battle. YOU take care❤️
he told me there was NO USE that no amount if fundraising would resolve the problem. I sort of withered and dropped the ball. I wonder, if I had DONE IT ANYWAY, would he have gotten a new flame and decided to live? But these thoughts are futile now.
I think losing his job and home and the degradation of his relationships, the division and disrespect exacerbated by the hysteria; a sense of disrespect…it overwhelmed him.
I don’t understand the significance of his birthday, but it must have factored into his determination. He turned 66 the day before he died.
I hope someone wished him happy birthday. Heartbreaking.
Such a heart and soul you show--a wonderful example to many I am sure. Futile, no; Possibly he was certain about the funds offer(s), and I say that on the guess that Rich "Arby" could not tolerate the world's quakes and groans especially the mind boggling pandemic, nor did he have any more capacity to cope with his own interior responses. I heard that idea somewhere in my travels, put forth as a kind of explanation to those who haven't ever experienced suicidal ideation, itself a clinical deal that is beyond my trainng.)
Celia, thoughts and regrets such as yours is why I believe that suicide is the ultimate selfish act — it really hurts the people left behind... and leaves them wondering, such as what you are doing now. I read his letter. In my assessment, he couldn’t fix himself (e.g., have some consideration for the feelings of others!) and life was just too darn hard. He’s had a life, and now he is older and just didn’t want to do it anymore. At least he is at peace now. You did what you could do, and that’s enough. In fact, you RESPECTED HIS STATED WISHES, so in answer to your question, NO. Given his age, he didn’t have all that many years left anyway. And frankly, leaving that letter didn’t help anyone. As I read it, I felt sorry for his family members. They actually didn’t abandon him, and tried to help a bit. And then he publishes his nasty final letter to haunt them all. What a legacy.
"Selfish."
Riiiiiiiight.
He should have lived in freezing squalor on the streets, in order to spare the delicate feelings of a bunch of internet randos and family members who didn't want to be bothered.
He never asked to be brought into this shit world, and he didn't "owe" it to anyone to keep suffering it on your terms, their terms, Trudeau's terms, or anyone else's.
And then, to top it off, you say he should have done everyone's feelings a favor and just kept his mouth shut and died without speaking his humble piece. "If you can't say something nice," and all that, amirite? "Nasty"? Wow. This is like Pot-on-Kettle rape-porn, Debs.
I lost a friend 2 days ago, as he also took his own life. He didn't leave a note. :(
I'm sorry Trent. Suicide is epidemic now. Snuffing work, family, friends, dignity, hope, future, even absent the shots and the masks, is extremely dangerous as pre-conditioning to self harm or suicide. We should get the statistics. I expect they have concealed them, in the name of Covid.
Dr. Paul Alexander just posted these harrowing stats: https://palexander.substack.com/p/suicides-in-2019-were-among-leading
I’m so sorry, Trent. I’m heartbroken over Arby and I’ve only had a flicker of an exchange with him. You must be reeling 😢💔🤗
Thank you, many of us are still in shock. He seemed fine to us. :(
It is amazing how well some people mask their depression and suffering. I guess this is a reminder to all of us to make sure those we love are *really* okay and not just saying it.
Sorry for your loss
Thank you, Celia. I don't know how you can make so much space in your heart - mine hurt as I read this - but I'm grateful that you do.
Dear Celia, I think your remembrance of Arby is beautiful.
I think you are right that he did not want to be dissuaded but I think he wanted to be recognized on his way out, which he was here, which is something.
I can’t imagine anyone reading along forgetting him.
I couldn't leave this on his blog as it needs to be approved...
I’m so very, heart achingly sorry to have never known you Arby. Rest well, brave soul.
I liked his bitchute videos and comments here. He was a smart and kind man.
We agreed a lot with questioning virology and germ theory. We both thought that Dr Tom Cowan is right on that but wrong on other things.
Feels like I lost a brother in this fight.
Rest in peace.
Yeah it can be tiring that even among the truth movement they ignore questioning virology.
It makes it hard to feel hope when you know that even the "awake" are still asleep, trusting clowns like Dr Malone. It's scary to see a snake in the group and be told by the group that I'm the pro vaxxer merely for pointing out this guy.
But I have hope that change will come organically and not from any group.
Oh No!!! I just met him about a month ago. He said It would be nice if we could share a beer in normal times and talk. I followed him because he was honest. Well, he sounded honest to me. Thank you for sharing this news even if it is horrible. May his soul find peace and may we one day share a beer in heaven.❤️
suicide is number one cause of death between 18 and 35 in Spain now.
How absolutely devastating. Democide by yet another means. THIS. MUST. END.
Thank you Celia for such a nice reading - I like what you do - God bless.
No no no no .... Please, no...
Goodness Celia, this was a touching story. One shudders to think that there may be, or have been, so many others like it. I can't escape the notion that "they really are trying to kill us," either through the poisonous injections or through neglect, intentional extermination of the elderly, or through taking away every option we have to live a normal life. Who among us decides to try to control all of humanity, regardless of the consequences? Is there really that much evil in the world? Apparently there is; it doesn't get much worse than this.