I’m human, made in God’s image (and possess love and compassion and a thirst for justice) and I don’t want to live in a world that is hellish for millions, whether or not my little pocket of the world is comfy. I always wanted to live long enough to see Armageddon. I now see that I sort of did.

Richard Wayne Battams

We knew him as Arby, his chosen online name. Last night, his family notified us that Richard Wayne Battams, ended his life on Jan 24.

In his eyes, I see light.

Some of you may have seen this, last night, in the comments section,

Amannda Hebert

15 hr ago

‘Im very sorry reply on here to you all it is with great sadness to share that he did take his own life early jan 24 2022 .Our family is grieving beyond words and we appreciate all your concerns and kind words RIP.’

It was kind of his family to let us know, in the midst of their own grief.

Arby had detailed his decision to end his life in this writing, titled It’s Time For Me To Rest.

Thank you Rob Kraft, for bringing this to my attention. I was very far away in my own labyrinths, and had no idea Arby had written this. I also, having read his farewell letter carefully, accept that he did not wish to be stopped.

On behalf of all of us here, if Richard’s family is reading this, we are very sorry for your loss.

Suicide is rampant since “Covid,” which is a very massive, indescribably dangerous spiritual attack. It seeks to violently strip men of their worth. (I said “men” for reasons I could maybe explain another time.)

Arby was highly intelligent, which can itself be a death sentence, for a man like he was. The duel is between the lie and the man who demands the lie be acknowledged.

I believe Arby miscalculated something, but it is not for me to insist another person should “hold out hope” inside a pattern over a lifetime they perceive as hopeless. I never did understand why this apartment situation felt so insurmountable to him.

I don’t understand Canada.

In any case, he’s gone. It doesn’t seem real but it is.

I decided to find and publish a poem, for Arby, to send him off to what I hope is a place of joy and freedom. That does not mean I see it all that simplistically. It is better if we never kill ourselves and yet some people, it seems, do see suicide as a very important friend. A last and only friend, way out.

I want to be very clear how opposed I am to suicide, while at the same time, that I have compassion for those who make the heartbreaking choice, concluding that there is no other choice.

Arby, we miss you, and we hope you are better, in less pain. Thank you for spending what turned out to be many of your last hours on earth, in our company. I will, in your memory, learn to use quotation marks.

This poems is for you, by Tomas Tranströmer, from whom the name “The Truth Barrier” was borrowed.

From the collection För Levande Och Döda, 1989

“For The Living And The Dead”

The Truth Barrier

In Memory of Richard Wayne Battams, Arby, To…