I have to go to sleep early, wake early, and not miss the early morning bus to Malaga, where I will attend a small conference with Spanish HIV dissidents.
Nehls is good and wrote a compelling book, but I think he misses a piece that at least for me and many I know matters. While the stress and trauma of constant bombardment with danger, danger, danger may create behaviors from some that are not helpful, it also hardens others and creates the exact opposite reaction. If you can find a way to stop being afraid and start getting even, the bombardment is a great action catalyst. Start acting and stop stewing. It is far more freedom and liberty inspiring.
Gabor Mate's latest book, "The Myth of Normal"...I think it is very good, but it is easy to get lost in the darkness. I found Bessel Vander Kolk's book, "The Body Keeps the Score" extremely wise. The body records EVERYTHING, and locks up trauma, especially physical (or threat of physical!). That is why gentle body work is valuable for healing, releasing, or at least understanding it. Cathy O'Brien's little books are good (she was a ritual abuse victim).
I think Feldenkrais is excellent, Reiki involves no or very little physical touching, very *gentle* Rolfing, massage with a trusted masseuse, etc. Blessings and best wishes to all who have been injured, wounded, traumatized (most of humanity).
this has an interesting corollary with my recent work in which being in a state of fear moves blood from the pre-frontal cortex to amygdala and that the amygdala actually grows. so, a double whammy.
also, i read 'She Was In Talk Therapy For Decades, Never Got Better: She Had To "Diagnose" What She Had, Then Invent A Healing Modality. Now She Helps Thousands Get Out Of The Trap'.
i am a little surprised that you removed the alive miller quotations. having them there provided people a path to describe for us her humanity. it is peculiar, to me, that the so called 'healing' people are demanding of humanity a level of perfection that is inhuman.
for me, if we were to throw all the dirty bathwater out with the babies, we would have nothing left!
and this points to pretty a subtle aspect as we move into this age of 'hypernovelty' as cliff high calls it: the crumbling away of the edifice of the authority structure. all authorities! that means the 'good' ones and the 'bad' ones. although to be a kind of jerk i'll cite an authority to castigate blind trust in authorities! on his death bed gautama, just before he died, told his companion ananda, 'trust yourself'. he even left out the dharma and the sanga (the teachings and the group). trust yourself. tricky, that. it is far easier to simply lump this or that person into 'good' and 'bad' and then to trust our judgment. and that 'judgment' comes from a place of morality that is anathema to our self! morality is the mechanism we use to remove from ourselves compassion. (i've been exploring that with some rigor in the last while, and that has become crystal clear: we use morality to excuse actions that lack compassion.)
alice miller helped me a lot. and yet i don't consider her to be infallible. would she be able to help me now? no. likely my blind trust in her now would be a hindrance, not a help. however, to dismiss her as 'evil' is to do her a complete disservice and to give away from us responsibility to see with more clarity, compassion and truth her value.
all the best with what is changing. everything changes, and right now trust is moving from trust in authority to trust in ourselves sans authority. with peace, respect, love and exuberant joy.
So if a pedophile were to write a book about healing child abuse, as cover, it would be OK with you? Because they are expressing their humanity? And no one is perfect?
No, not an extreme position. Just trying to get people to think. Too much lack of thinking on this site. Which is why I have cancelled my subscription.
Celia often posts without thinking, and without doing background research. But she likes flogging books for others. I suspect there are deals there. Then if a reader notices, she has some silly excuse such as having C-PTSD, which apparently means she cannot read much digital writing. Yes, she actually told me that. She plays the victim too often.
I told her she should close her Substack site then. Not the place for her if she cannot read and write digitally.
In any case, I am off. Better places to be than here.
I originally responded to Hans Peder From and told him that the Michael Nehls book rehashes material already out there for many years. In general, these are not original insights. At all. Although perhaps people who had never picked up on it previously may be interested.
I had been used to getting few responses when I posted the originals....but we have a whole page devoted to the re-hash?
Celia....I don't think you know this material well. And when those who do know it well post on your site, you ignore them. Hans Peder must be a friend.
Ah well...I suppose anyone can do the Substack thing. Why not me? It's complicated.....
Celia does not actually understand a great deal about these topics. She threw out Alice Miller, thinking that Miller is the top banana in the field. Not so. Many always came before her. Compared to someone like John Bowlby or Peter Fonagy, Alice Miller just tossed off her book from what she thought would sell. Lots of drama. Light on theory.
Besides which, the biggest issue is that Miller's own son wrote a book about how he was abused by his famous anti-child-abuse mother. And her reputation was in the gutter.
But Celia did not look into any of the background. So she ended up having to take down the Miller material when I informed her of the reality of Alice Miller.
The reason to remove the quotes is explained in the comments: the initial and the final quote caused some confusion, because some readers thought the post was about Miller. In reality, the post is about Runkle and her methods.
in the comments people 'tear her down' for how she damaged her son. she was able to preach the gospel and not to live it.
i find the criticism important for us to see her humanity as she struggled with her own traumas. and at the same time, it is a poor practice to throw the baby out with the bathwater and those promoting that are, likely, very much like miller herself may have done with her son, putting off on to her their own traumas.
and yes, i've read the list of other 'signatories' to the bad ones: freud, bettelheim, etc. and i've actually read some of their works, and the criticisms too. and learned from both.
personally miller's book 'the body never lies: the lingering effects of hurtful parenting' was very helpful when it came to me in 2014. however, 8 years later, it is unlikely to be of help to me anymore, and more likely a hindrance. does that mean i trash her? hmmmm.
Alice Miller displayed zero empathy for other parents who abused, and had been abused themselves. And if she did not know that abuse often repeats to the next generation, she was no expert.
But she deserves to be let off the hook? After her supposed know-it-all book that she gained by?
“Every culture institutionalizes certain forms of behavior that communicate and encourage certain forms of thinking and acting, thus moulding the character of its citizens. To the degree that the individual is made an object of constant mental manipulation, to the degree that cultural institutions may tend to weaken intellectual and spiritual strength, to the degree that knowledge of the mind is used to tame and condition people instead of educating them, to that degree does the culture itself produce men and women who are predisposed to accept an authoritarian way of life.”
That's why this Orwell 1984 shirt is perfect for these times: t.co/EKkMWeTAPG
The difference is whether the indoctrinators are Cluster-B personalities or not. If so (such as with Psychopaths), you will then have totalitarianism. If not, you will have cultural indoctrination and perhaps education.
I'm skeptical about CF's suggestion that childhood trauma seems to be the base issue for humanity in our time. Can that particular malady begin to explain this country's continued facilitation of genocide in Gaza pretty much across party lines (with several Republican Congressmen stridently complaining that the present administration hasn't done enough to enable Israel to crush the infidels)? Indicative is the actual response to my vociferous protestations emailed to me by one of Nevada's sitting U.S. senators:
"On October 7, 2023, a terrorist attack on Israel by Hamas killed over 1,200 Israeli civilians and soldiers, injured thousands, and left countless families grieving for loved ones who were kidnapped – including children and seniors. Since October 7, Israel has faced frequent threats from Iran and its proxies like Hezbollah, which has fired numerous rockets into northern Israel. On September 27, 2024, Israel conducted an operation that killed Hezbollah's leader Hassan Nasrallah and other high-ranking Hezbollah officials. This followed an Israeli attack on Hezbollah members using exploding pagers.
I support Israel's right to defend itself against Iran and its terrorist proxies , and rescue those held hostage in Gaza. I also recognize that Hezbollah poses a threat to both Israelis and Lebanese, and it does not represent the people of Lebanon. As Israel defends itself against Hezbollah's attacks, it must also minimize the loss of innocent lives and keep civilians out of harm's way. Likewise, as this crisis unfolds, we also must ensure that humanitarian aid reaches those who desperately need it, including in Gaza and Lebanon. That is one of the many reasons why I voted for the April national security supplemental package, which provides billions of dollars in humanitarian assistance to sustain the delivery of humanitarian aid through the State Department and the United States Agency for International Development (USAID). Robust funding has allowed the U.S. government to provide over $386 million to the people of Lebanon over the past year, including nearly $157 million in humanitarian assistance that was announced on October 4, 2024."
There is a point where willful ignorance (thin disguise for an utter disregard for the truth) can only be described as symptomatic of depravity, a condition defined by soullessness which, in the U.S. Senate, has become the new normal. Were each and every one of these certifiable lunatics subjected to disfiguring, dislocating childhood trauma ? Probably not.
Nehls is good and wrote a compelling book, but I think he misses a piece that at least for me and many I know matters. While the stress and trauma of constant bombardment with danger, danger, danger may create behaviors from some that are not helpful, it also hardens others and creates the exact opposite reaction. If you can find a way to stop being afraid and start getting even, the bombardment is a great action catalyst. Start acting and stop stewing. It is far more freedom and liberty inspiring.
One of my specialties.
Though I shall not waste my breath on this site.
and yet, you are lurking here
Gabor Mate's latest book, "The Myth of Normal"...I think it is very good, but it is easy to get lost in the darkness. I found Bessel Vander Kolk's book, "The Body Keeps the Score" extremely wise. The body records EVERYTHING, and locks up trauma, especially physical (or threat of physical!). That is why gentle body work is valuable for healing, releasing, or at least understanding it. Cathy O'Brien's little books are good (she was a ritual abuse victim).
I think Feldenkrais is excellent, Reiki involves no or very little physical touching, very *gentle* Rolfing, massage with a trusted masseuse, etc. Blessings and best wishes to all who have been injured, wounded, traumatized (most of humanity).
hola, celia.
this has an interesting corollary with my recent work in which being in a state of fear moves blood from the pre-frontal cortex to amygdala and that the amygdala actually grows. so, a double whammy.
also, i read 'She Was In Talk Therapy For Decades, Never Got Better: She Had To "Diagnose" What She Had, Then Invent A Healing Modality. Now She Helps Thousands Get Out Of The Trap'.
i am a little surprised that you removed the alive miller quotations. having them there provided people a path to describe for us her humanity. it is peculiar, to me, that the so called 'healing' people are demanding of humanity a level of perfection that is inhuman.
for me, if we were to throw all the dirty bathwater out with the babies, we would have nothing left!
and this points to pretty a subtle aspect as we move into this age of 'hypernovelty' as cliff high calls it: the crumbling away of the edifice of the authority structure. all authorities! that means the 'good' ones and the 'bad' ones. although to be a kind of jerk i'll cite an authority to castigate blind trust in authorities! on his death bed gautama, just before he died, told his companion ananda, 'trust yourself'. he even left out the dharma and the sanga (the teachings and the group). trust yourself. tricky, that. it is far easier to simply lump this or that person into 'good' and 'bad' and then to trust our judgment. and that 'judgment' comes from a place of morality that is anathema to our self! morality is the mechanism we use to remove from ourselves compassion. (i've been exploring that with some rigor in the last while, and that has become crystal clear: we use morality to excuse actions that lack compassion.)
alice miller helped me a lot. and yet i don't consider her to be infallible. would she be able to help me now? no. likely my blind trust in her now would be a hindrance, not a help. however, to dismiss her as 'evil' is to do her a complete disservice and to give away from us responsibility to see with more clarity, compassion and truth her value.
all the best with what is changing. everything changes, and right now trust is moving from trust in authority to trust in ourselves sans authority. with peace, respect, love and exuberant joy.
So if a pedophile were to write a book about healing child abuse, as cover, it would be OK with you? Because they are expressing their humanity? And no one is perfect?
Ahhhh. A
The extreme position.
Ya got me.
Well done.
Actually I did write about the evil of A. Kinsey somewhere as I may have been abused by a family who valued his sex research.
I guess it comes down to discernment. A difficult aspect of wisdom. Buckets and tribalism are so much simpler.
All the best with what is changing. Everything is changing.
No, not an extreme position. Just trying to get people to think. Too much lack of thinking on this site. Which is why I have cancelled my subscription.
Celia often posts without thinking, and without doing background research. But she likes flogging books for others. I suspect there are deals there. Then if a reader notices, she has some silly excuse such as having C-PTSD, which apparently means she cannot read much digital writing. Yes, she actually told me that. She plays the victim too often.
I told her she should close her Substack site then. Not the place for her if she cannot read and write digitally.
In any case, I am off. Better places to be than here.
Don't insult Celia. She's too good for you.
Insult me instead. I have expertise with ogres like you.
And also don't abuse Guy. He's a gentleman thinker. I'm a better match for you, A-hole.
I originally responded to Hans Peder From and told him that the Michael Nehls book rehashes material already out there for many years. In general, these are not original insights. At all. Although perhaps people who had never picked up on it previously may be interested.
I had been used to getting few responses when I posted the originals....but we have a whole page devoted to the re-hash?
Celia....I don't think you know this material well. And when those who do know it well post on your site, you ignore them. Hans Peder must be a friend.
Ah well...I suppose anyone can do the Substack thing. Why not me? It's complicated.....
AVANTI, GOURMETTI!
Sea horses may be Romanized
By calling them hippocampi;
If you would do the same to shrimp,
Add garlic and they're scampi.
Ogden Nash
May I ask why the Alice Miller quotes were removed? Thank you.
Celia does not actually understand a great deal about these topics. She threw out Alice Miller, thinking that Miller is the top banana in the field. Not so. Many always came before her. Compared to someone like John Bowlby or Peter Fonagy, Alice Miller just tossed off her book from what she thought would sell. Lots of drama. Light on theory.
Besides which, the biggest issue is that Miller's own son wrote a book about how he was abused by his famous anti-child-abuse mother. And her reputation was in the gutter.
But Celia did not look into any of the background. So she ended up having to take down the Miller material when I informed her of the reality of Alice Miller.
The reason to remove the quotes is explained in the comments: the initial and the final quote caused some confusion, because some readers thought the post was about Miller. In reality, the post is about Runkle and her methods.
in the comments people 'tear her down' for how she damaged her son. she was able to preach the gospel and not to live it.
i find the criticism important for us to see her humanity as she struggled with her own traumas. and at the same time, it is a poor practice to throw the baby out with the bathwater and those promoting that are, likely, very much like miller herself may have done with her son, putting off on to her their own traumas.
and yes, i've read the list of other 'signatories' to the bad ones: freud, bettelheim, etc. and i've actually read some of their works, and the criticisms too. and learned from both.
personally miller's book 'the body never lies: the lingering effects of hurtful parenting' was very helpful when it came to me in 2014. however, 8 years later, it is unlikely to be of help to me anymore, and more likely a hindrance. does that mean i trash her? hmmmm.
i think it was unfortunate the celia removed the quotations. i explain why here in another comment, if you are interested.https://celiafarber.substack.com/p/michael-nehls-explains-how-ptsd-through/comment/72767169
Alice Miller displayed zero empathy for other parents who abused, and had been abused themselves. And if she did not know that abuse often repeats to the next generation, she was no expert.
But she deserves to be let off the hook? After her supposed know-it-all book that she gained by?
Love what you're doing. Fear - focus of my doctoral thesis.
“Every culture institutionalizes certain forms of behavior that communicate and encourage certain forms of thinking and acting, thus moulding the character of its citizens. To the degree that the individual is made an object of constant mental manipulation, to the degree that cultural institutions may tend to weaken intellectual and spiritual strength, to the degree that knowledge of the mind is used to tame and condition people instead of educating them, to that degree does the culture itself produce men and women who are predisposed to accept an authoritarian way of life.”
That's why this Orwell 1984 shirt is perfect for these times: t.co/EKkMWeTAPG
No real cluster was ever isolated and purified and spiritually characterized.
The difference is whether the indoctrinators are Cluster-B personalities or not. If so (such as with Psychopaths), you will then have totalitarianism. If not, you will have cultural indoctrination and perhaps education.
T'is all the system does to protect it self, it ain't no loving momma or protective father!
Here goes :
- nukes, cold war rethoric
-The barbarians, fill in the blanks, are coming to get ya!
-commies, capitalists scarcity rethoric
-me too, trust no one rethoric and keep retraumatizing yourself if you happen to have been
traumatized in that way and whilst you're at it do not have any meaningful relationships.
-You won't have an earth to live on anymore and will be gone in 12 yrs or whatever due to
you jus tbeing here, that one is quite funny actually.
-I can't breathe, suffocating rethoric conveniently blasted into the world before being instructed
to suffocate yourself and your loved ones 'for the greater good'
-starvation, scarcity, lack of any kind rethoric, every day and not only in may
-illness, obesity, mental disorders, sickness and death fears driven near into the brain of the clear minded in order to control the minded.
-Look the minders of this world have handlers but they all also have blinders as they do what they
do ignoring that which created all of this.
-The movie dumb and dumber was a documentary it seems.
Grüß Gott!
I'm skeptical about CF's suggestion that childhood trauma seems to be the base issue for humanity in our time. Can that particular malady begin to explain this country's continued facilitation of genocide in Gaza pretty much across party lines (with several Republican Congressmen stridently complaining that the present administration hasn't done enough to enable Israel to crush the infidels)? Indicative is the actual response to my vociferous protestations emailed to me by one of Nevada's sitting U.S. senators:
"On October 7, 2023, a terrorist attack on Israel by Hamas killed over 1,200 Israeli civilians and soldiers, injured thousands, and left countless families grieving for loved ones who were kidnapped – including children and seniors. Since October 7, Israel has faced frequent threats from Iran and its proxies like Hezbollah, which has fired numerous rockets into northern Israel. On September 27, 2024, Israel conducted an operation that killed Hezbollah's leader Hassan Nasrallah and other high-ranking Hezbollah officials. This followed an Israeli attack on Hezbollah members using exploding pagers.
I support Israel's right to defend itself against Iran and its terrorist proxies , and rescue those held hostage in Gaza. I also recognize that Hezbollah poses a threat to both Israelis and Lebanese, and it does not represent the people of Lebanon. As Israel defends itself against Hezbollah's attacks, it must also minimize the loss of innocent lives and keep civilians out of harm's way. Likewise, as this crisis unfolds, we also must ensure that humanitarian aid reaches those who desperately need it, including in Gaza and Lebanon. That is one of the many reasons why I voted for the April national security supplemental package, which provides billions of dollars in humanitarian assistance to sustain the delivery of humanitarian aid through the State Department and the United States Agency for International Development (USAID). Robust funding has allowed the U.S. government to provide over $386 million to the people of Lebanon over the past year, including nearly $157 million in humanitarian assistance that was announced on October 4, 2024."
There is a point where willful ignorance (thin disguise for an utter disregard for the truth) can only be described as symptomatic of depravity, a condition defined by soullessness which, in the U.S. Senate, has become the new normal. Were each and every one of these certifiable lunatics subjected to disfiguring, dislocating childhood trauma ? Probably not.