Life begins at 40. A contradictory sentence. On April 7th, a Sunday, I will reach that age. Forty, like the HIV/AIDS mass disembodiment event.
I have nothing prepared. It's like being born again. The first time, it didn't went well. Now that I get a second chance, I wish the mistakes are new and exciting, and not a mere repetition. Mom and Dad are both in Heaven, and they can't repeat anything they did. So any error is my own, and that thought feels good to me.
Maybe I should become a writer. There is no risk in it because few people read. If I was not severely risk-averse, I would try making videos or podcasts, because that medium is king right now.
But I've started "becoming a writer" before. I'm a great starter of things, not so much as a continuator. So I left that many times in the past.
This week there will be noise in the streets: the Holy Week Processions. I might go again to **see** the noise of the drums, although last year I said I would not repeat.
The Holy Week is the time of the year when I force myself to be near many people. The other fifty one weeks I avoid all contact as much as possible. I've always done that, the avoiding. And the disembodying, for I was born, alas, in both the the year 1984 and the novel 1984.
If big brother is everywhere that means we are forever little siblings: criticized, overprotected, discouraged, unstable and unsafe. It's always been lies to protect me from the risk of life. The lies are also an electrical phenomenon that contributes to the disembodied experience.
Being lied to always about everything and all the time means that you have to not be there.
That's the marching orders from The Party's Ministry of Love: Be Not There!
Then, they see you depressed and the irony slug fest starts: "Agent Roger, your problem is that you are not living in the present, you have to live in the present, don't worry about anything, we'll take care of you."
It's so funny when the people who love you commit "Accidental Darkness".
So much fun being a mere analyst of life.
--
I will do something I've never done before. I'm going to buy a stupid smartphone, brand El Cheapo, and I'm going to record some videos of the Semana Santa, and I will upload them somewhere. If I follow through this project, I'll post links. Maybe I open a substack site just for this.
Although I will be kinda doxing myself if I do that. Maybe I shouldn't. I'm still 39 and I still have a right to be shy.
Celia, I only know very rough sketches of your life and even that is probably overstating what I 'know". To be dislocated to another culture and language, leaving one parent behind in the wake of a divorce is traumatic and disorientating. A disorientation that last indefinitely and could take a lifetime to unpack. Another might try to sublimate the trauma, sweep it under the map so to speak. But that's not how and who you are. You're hardwired for honesty, trying to make sense of the fraud in a world full of mendacity that includes then and still the horrors surrounding the AIDS deceit. We are one another's therapists here at The Truth Barrier. May the bond of this community give you that safe space we all seek in our lives.
I watch a lot of Three Stooges lately, like a 1945 one called 'Troubledoers,' and think that's how they got through the war, when millions faced the prospect of death and disembodiement, as opposed to wish or dream fulfillment. And it got done, with myself, my sibs and pals as a legacy. Now we're faced by dogmas some more, which are of religion, which seems to be of swearing to stuff while witch hunts, inquisitions, and Reformation warfare goes on, until there's a global megamachine whose business goes forward by there being costs like we're seeing. Maybe ultimately it's about employment?
Our mothers bore us into a world in which we notice sameness, but we are each absolutely unique and don’t fit. Our authentic actions absolutely and often imperceptibly change the sameness but, pen-ultimately, they’re futile because we fit only once we return. Each of us will comfortably fit. Once we return.
I was up at 5:15 this morning Celia. Sundays are the beginning of my week and in addition to feeding Luna and Boots and doing my morning devotions, I usually rehearse on my bass for the musical portion of our Sonday worship service. I pray that you and Lewis are well. The zoom was most enjoyable yesterday but I had to leave at 2pm to prepare for our Saturday afternoon worship service with a small group of elderly hearing impaired covid scared worshippers that we meet with on Saturday afternoons so that they can have face to face worship and fellowship with other likeminded believers. I lead them in some hymns, choruses and worship tunes with my flattop and my voice. The cabal has geoengineered most of the buglife away down here in Ocala but spring has already sprung here in the Horse Capitol of the World. Blessings to you Bibi and Lewis.
There is a mode of spiritual endeavor wherein one generates energy into a space of becoming, with intent to support Divine Plan, not specific egoic intentions, though ending suffering of Palestinian children seems to me to be part of the Divine Plan, since demonic forces are causing their suffering.
It is intention and patience.
I am aware of this, but have not been taught it. It is a thing in Buddhism, which seems to be a form of "prayer". I am a Buddhist practitioner, guided mainly by compassion and intention. I know that things are not quite as they seem, so I don't assume something is possible or impossible.
The War of Continuation where sanity in a society run amok is under attack. It is everywhere and no worse place than in the media moronic spotlight. For example, in a weekly rag where I live is featured a few crackers marching 36 km to protest the Israelis and to demand the war there be stopped.
These nutlet leftist misinformed morons know squat about the situation and it is a case of complete fools with the ignorance of a new born pig and the IQ of a candy cane think they can solve the problems of the world.
But that is the latest cracker craziness on display.
The first display happened decades ago when the same "movement" decided that smaller cars would save gasoline and reduce pollution. These fools knew that replacing steel with plastic would make cars lighter and use less gas but the fools seemed to not grasp the reality that with more plastic, less protection would also mean more serious injuries and increased death but I guess they needed live sacrifices to their god of Molech to make the great transfer into the new society of stupifaction.
The trudope meanwhile ignores the billions of raw sewage dumped into the Great Lakes yearly and imposes the fraud of carbon tax when we have more than 500 acres of forests that more than eliminate our industrial carbon footprint. He is a liar, a fraud and a bigot.
But as Cher would say, "The beat goes on as crackers rush into the chasm of lost credibility to run in circles and chanting "the sky is falling" like so many "chicken littles."
Carlin was right, stupid is and was forever and cannot ever be cured. Did you ever take a look at the wasted wonker wokists on the streets of Canuckistan lately? Half a day's work would kill the average cracker and many women run around in vaginas suits at protests.
Up is down, black is white, right is wrong and wrong is right. The great debt in western nations has been the harbinger of the great reset where fools impose national policies and the grade five ASSistant drama teacher bellows words of untitled idiocy like "the budget will balance itself."
AND THEY DO NOT COME MORE STUPID THAN THAT spawn of a hippie witch and a commie fake father who looks like the hinder end of a horse.
Once as a boy I actually had him to committed to my offer of smiling and letting me count the creases in his face. My goal was to be able to identify by number how many wrinkles were on a horse's derriere.
my waking thoughts at 6:00 am-- i'm with you-- but pacific time--
i'm tired of all the depression- doom and gloom - i have it every day and hear it every day- but today is different
I need a break from the rain, don't you?
Emoto Masura - the author of the book about water crystal communication- assures us that we can make clouds dissipate--We can also make chem'Klouds' dissipate
I've been experimenting with this with great success and wonder if you'd like to help me today
so far i've had 15 people get back to me with wonderful results this morning- perhaps people are seeing that they can be co-creators
Simply--Close your eyes- focus on the Klouds above dissipating
See the blue- smell the clean air all around you- feel the warm sun without the Kloud radiation that does not burn but warms your body.
Hear the soft buzz of the insects coming to your flowers- all around you. Butterflies, bees, all the winged ones, hummingbirds.
the more the merrier It's easy, productive, and joy producing.
Let me know if you tried, succeeded
The boundary I've set is all the way to the bay, to the SF Bridge, to the ocean and to Santa Rosa, ca
I've been to all those places so many times i can see them in my mind
I came outside to the bath today to a totally overcast sky and now there is blue here in ever direction
you don't have to believe me- but give it a try please?
And tomorrow March 25th will be a Lunar Eclipse in Aries-Libra. This eclipse is “the third eclipse in a set of six occurring along the Aries-Libra axis, from April 20th, 2023, to March 29, 2025”. Full Moons carry the energy of releasing what no longer serves us.
“This March Lunar eclipse in Libra prompts us to consider healthy relating…a time to resolve matters, strike a balance, take a lesson, and move on.” Lunar Eclipses are about relationships and polarities.
Take a deep breath, Celia.
Pack your bags. Get out of NYC and NYS.
Hustle off to Spain and be at peace.
Life begins at 40. A contradictory sentence. On April 7th, a Sunday, I will reach that age. Forty, like the HIV/AIDS mass disembodiment event.
I have nothing prepared. It's like being born again. The first time, it didn't went well. Now that I get a second chance, I wish the mistakes are new and exciting, and not a mere repetition. Mom and Dad are both in Heaven, and they can't repeat anything they did. So any error is my own, and that thought feels good to me.
Maybe I should become a writer. There is no risk in it because few people read. If I was not severely risk-averse, I would try making videos or podcasts, because that medium is king right now.
But I've started "becoming a writer" before. I'm a great starter of things, not so much as a continuator. So I left that many times in the past.
This week there will be noise in the streets: the Holy Week Processions. I might go again to **see** the noise of the drums, although last year I said I would not repeat.
The Holy Week is the time of the year when I force myself to be near many people. The other fifty one weeks I avoid all contact as much as possible. I've always done that, the avoiding. And the disembodying, for I was born, alas, in both the the year 1984 and the novel 1984.
If big brother is everywhere that means we are forever little siblings: criticized, overprotected, discouraged, unstable and unsafe. It's always been lies to protect me from the risk of life. The lies are also an electrical phenomenon that contributes to the disembodied experience.
Being lied to always about everything and all the time means that you have to not be there.
That's the marching orders from The Party's Ministry of Love: Be Not There!
Then, they see you depressed and the irony slug fest starts: "Agent Roger, your problem is that you are not living in the present, you have to live in the present, don't worry about anything, we'll take care of you."
It's so funny when the people who love you commit "Accidental Darkness".
So much fun being a mere analyst of life.
--
I will do something I've never done before. I'm going to buy a stupid smartphone, brand El Cheapo, and I'm going to record some videos of the Semana Santa, and I will upload them somewhere. If I follow through this project, I'll post links. Maybe I open a substack site just for this.
Although I will be kinda doxing myself if I do that. Maybe I shouldn't. I'm still 39 and I still have a right to be shy.
Celia, I only know very rough sketches of your life and even that is probably overstating what I 'know". To be dislocated to another culture and language, leaving one parent behind in the wake of a divorce is traumatic and disorientating. A disorientation that last indefinitely and could take a lifetime to unpack. Another might try to sublimate the trauma, sweep it under the map so to speak. But that's not how and who you are. You're hardwired for honesty, trying to make sense of the fraud in a world full of mendacity that includes then and still the horrors surrounding the AIDS deceit. We are one another's therapists here at The Truth Barrier. May the bond of this community give you that safe space we all seek in our lives.
Thank you, Celia. I hear echoes of my Spring musings.
I watch a lot of Three Stooges lately, like a 1945 one called 'Troubledoers,' and think that's how they got through the war, when millions faced the prospect of death and disembodiement, as opposed to wish or dream fulfillment. And it got done, with myself, my sibs and pals as a legacy. Now we're faced by dogmas some more, which are of religion, which seems to be of swearing to stuff while witch hunts, inquisitions, and Reformation warfare goes on, until there's a global megamachine whose business goes forward by there being costs like we're seeing. Maybe ultimately it's about employment?
"Nothing real can be threatened
Nothing unreal exists
Herein lies the peace of God"
(short summary of 'A Course in Miracles')
Spain is better than America; Portugal is better than Spain. It's safer here, and more relaxed.
Our mothers bore us into a world in which we notice sameness, but we are each absolutely unique and don’t fit. Our authentic actions absolutely and often imperceptibly change the sameness but, pen-ultimately, they’re futile because we fit only once we return. Each of us will comfortably fit. Once we return.
It's always nice to hear from you Celia.
It's tough to wake up in the morning in a bad state.
Look up Clint Ober and grounding.
I was up at 5:15 this morning Celia. Sundays are the beginning of my week and in addition to feeding Luna and Boots and doing my morning devotions, I usually rehearse on my bass for the musical portion of our Sonday worship service. I pray that you and Lewis are well. The zoom was most enjoyable yesterday but I had to leave at 2pm to prepare for our Saturday afternoon worship service with a small group of elderly hearing impaired covid scared worshippers that we meet with on Saturday afternoons so that they can have face to face worship and fellowship with other likeminded believers. I lead them in some hymns, choruses and worship tunes with my flattop and my voice. The cabal has geoengineered most of the buglife away down here in Ocala but spring has already sprung here in the Horse Capitol of the World. Blessings to you Bibi and Lewis.
There is a mode of spiritual endeavor wherein one generates energy into a space of becoming, with intent to support Divine Plan, not specific egoic intentions, though ending suffering of Palestinian children seems to me to be part of the Divine Plan, since demonic forces are causing their suffering.
It is intention and patience.
I am aware of this, but have not been taught it. It is a thing in Buddhism, which seems to be a form of "prayer". I am a Buddhist practitioner, guided mainly by compassion and intention. I know that things are not quite as they seem, so I don't assume something is possible or impossible.
Move west to Montana, up into the mountains. I been there and the people are very common sense with few bigoted baristas from Farbucks.
The War of Continuation where sanity in a society run amok is under attack. It is everywhere and no worse place than in the media moronic spotlight. For example, in a weekly rag where I live is featured a few crackers marching 36 km to protest the Israelis and to demand the war there be stopped.
These nutlet leftist misinformed morons know squat about the situation and it is a case of complete fools with the ignorance of a new born pig and the IQ of a candy cane think they can solve the problems of the world.
But that is the latest cracker craziness on display.
The first display happened decades ago when the same "movement" decided that smaller cars would save gasoline and reduce pollution. These fools knew that replacing steel with plastic would make cars lighter and use less gas but the fools seemed to not grasp the reality that with more plastic, less protection would also mean more serious injuries and increased death but I guess they needed live sacrifices to their god of Molech to make the great transfer into the new society of stupifaction.
The trudope meanwhile ignores the billions of raw sewage dumped into the Great Lakes yearly and imposes the fraud of carbon tax when we have more than 500 acres of forests that more than eliminate our industrial carbon footprint. He is a liar, a fraud and a bigot.
But as Cher would say, "The beat goes on as crackers rush into the chasm of lost credibility to run in circles and chanting "the sky is falling" like so many "chicken littles."
Carlin was right, stupid is and was forever and cannot ever be cured. Did you ever take a look at the wasted wonker wokists on the streets of Canuckistan lately? Half a day's work would kill the average cracker and many women run around in vaginas suits at protests.
Up is down, black is white, right is wrong and wrong is right. The great debt in western nations has been the harbinger of the great reset where fools impose national policies and the grade five ASSistant drama teacher bellows words of untitled idiocy like "the budget will balance itself."
AND THEY DO NOT COME MORE STUPID THAN THAT spawn of a hippie witch and a commie fake father who looks like the hinder end of a horse.
Once as a boy I actually had him to committed to my offer of smiling and letting me count the creases in his face. My goal was to be able to identify by number how many wrinkles were on a horse's derriere.
Spring has sprung!
my waking thoughts at 6:00 am-- i'm with you-- but pacific time--
i'm tired of all the depression- doom and gloom - i have it every day and hear it every day- but today is different
I need a break from the rain, don't you?
Emoto Masura - the author of the book about water crystal communication- assures us that we can make clouds dissipate--We can also make chem'Klouds' dissipate
I've been experimenting with this with great success and wonder if you'd like to help me today
so far i've had 15 people get back to me with wonderful results this morning- perhaps people are seeing that they can be co-creators
Simply--Close your eyes- focus on the Klouds above dissipating
See the blue- smell the clean air all around you- feel the warm sun without the Kloud radiation that does not burn but warms your body.
Hear the soft buzz of the insects coming to your flowers- all around you. Butterflies, bees, all the winged ones, hummingbirds.
the more the merrier It's easy, productive, and joy producing.
Let me know if you tried, succeeded
The boundary I've set is all the way to the bay, to the SF Bridge, to the ocean and to Santa Rosa, ca
I've been to all those places so many times i can see them in my mind
I came outside to the bath today to a totally overcast sky and now there is blue here in ever direction
you don't have to believe me- but give it a try please?
And tomorrow March 25th will be a Lunar Eclipse in Aries-Libra. This eclipse is “the third eclipse in a set of six occurring along the Aries-Libra axis, from April 20th, 2023, to March 29, 2025”. Full Moons carry the energy of releasing what no longer serves us.
“This March Lunar eclipse in Libra prompts us to consider healthy relating…a time to resolve matters, strike a balance, take a lesson, and move on.” Lunar Eclipses are about relationships and polarities.
https://cafeastrology.com/events/full-moon-lunar-eclipse-march-25-2024/