Will These Wounds Ever Heal?
I added a line. It's hard to know if you maybe are diminishing a piece by adding detail. The alchemy of story telling…The thing is I am a horrendous procrastinator and I have a deadline today that feels impossible so I'm procrastinating worse. If anybody has a cure for this please describe.
I remember during 2020 thinking "why won't they let us hope?" They knocked down every supplement, herb, vitamin, or generic drug that could console us (even as a placebo). They definitely went after God in closing the houses of worship.
Something else is going on here, and you say it perfectly: they want us inconsolable. About our bodies, the planet, everything. Christ is consolation and hope. What they are peddling is Anti-Christ.
All these years I figured "the" anti-christ would be a person, but it is more likely a mind virus, vibe, wavelength, or frequency of some sort that you have to allow to inhabit you. It will probably intersect with AI at some point. A 'beast' system. This is a spiritual battle.
Such words. I don't know how you manage to write things that make me feel deeply sad and quietly uplifted at the same time.
Celia, when I was 6 years old my father was put in a hospital for "nerve trouble". That's the only name for it that we rural dwellers in 1958 Texas knew and used. To this day I don't know what the diagnosis was. I just remember that leading up to it when we would go shopping to Waco he would have to leave the stores because he said there was no air and he couldn't breathe. When things got so serious they put him in the hospital and gave him very many, very strong shock treatments which obliterated his memory even of who my mother and we children were. It took him a year to regain recognition of us again, but after that there was always something missing. He used to be a very funny jokester and story-teller, mostly about the local farmer old-timers who were very humorous themselves. All of that pretty much stopped after they blasted his soul out with their "genius" medical technologies. So, I can somewhat say that, like you, I had a missing parent for a year (or more), even thought his body was present.
My father, from that time on, was very skeptical of doctors, and thanks to that I have inherited and carried that virtue to this day 65 years later. It's what enabled me to not for one second, and I mean not one second, buy into the pandemic story. When I, at first glance, saw "Doctor" Fauci at the podium making his announcement I KNEW in that very moment that it was all faked, all a scam, all a fraud. I never wore a mask, even though I was the only one around in this woke hipster neighborhood who didn't. I was repeatedly yelled at to put one on at the farmers market, of all places. I yelled back.
It's a tragedy what my father had to go through at the hands of those "health-care providers", but I feel like it has been my vocation to redeem it by carrying on the lesson he had learned through it: Stay away from doctors!
"I don’t want to be right; Not anymore."
I think this is the beginning of love, and is exactly why I hammer on about love so much. How else are we to be humble seekers after truth?
Gosh, I just love you, Celia, your essence. Often I feel less lonely after reading one of your shares. Thank you.
Love is the answer to every question. Troll your soul deeply to find the root of your most pure feeling - and there is love. In the midst of despair, there is the super power of kindness. Doing good, being kind, refusing to be cynical or bitter leads us to dare to hope. Self-sacrifice - sacrificial love heals the soul of the lover. This is how I know there is a God. For myself, faith has saved me over and over again from despair.
Despair is an illusion promulgated by evil to convince us that there is no God, no hope, no reason for joy. We have every reason for joy. We have the ability to love.
Thank you for this, Celia. I'm so sorry to hear about the vanishing of your mother. As I read your words describing that experience, I could feel that small girl's desperation...
Many crimes carried out in this country have saddened me. The more "recent" ones include AIDS, Ruby Ridge, Waco, et.al. The one, though, that brought me inconsolability was Sep 11. At the time, it was the biggest of "their" big crimes and "their" official story itself so utterly mendacious and criminal. The crime of the ensuing attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq..? The murder, the suffering, the environmental destruction while at "home," applause, credulity, and vilification of all those trying to expose the truth of this horrendous crime.
So...So when the usual suspects started jabbering, including that indescribably creepy criminal Fauci, I knew a new, bigger, more devastating crime was in the making. Pointless to point out the obvious to the unteachable -- the vast majority. This time, we knew that this crime would mean that life as we knew it was over, that circumstances would require abandoning it, which we did.
For me, boredom has moved ahead of inconsolability. Bored by the predictable cooperation, the credulity, the insouciance, the criminal conduct of doctors and nurses, the disloyalty to fundamental principles of freedom, etc., etc.
Ugh. That's just me, Celia.
I have such a deep sadness and loneliness now. The world is trying to distance itself from what just happened. That, in itself, is such a disappointment. It plays out inside my own house. There is no consolation for me yet. I just can’t find it.
I have to comment on the desire for a balloon. It immediately brought back into my mind a short film when I was younger. It was filmed in Europe, in black and shite, except for a Red Balloon that a young boy was chasing through the streets. And always, as he was just about to nab it, it flew higher, out f his reach. I wonder, Celia, if that represents your search for your mother...always within reach, but not?
"Faith is my only answer." Mine too.
It is the only thing that hoists one up from a fetal position on the kitchen floor.
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:13-14
Chock full of power and potency! This is the way, focus + love. "In the beginning was the Word." Frequency is everything. Thank you for the beam of light lit here, online and beyond.
“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” Gandalf (The Hobbit) Expanded from a quote by Tolkien
In the entirety of growing up, there is a few phrases I never heard. One, the question, How do you feel about (X thing)? I was almost 30 before I was asked this, by a friend, and my response was that it didn't matter how I felt, thingX was happening. The friend said, to the contrary, it mattered much how I felt, that it could affect the outcome, and certainly would affect me. It made me look back on all the things that had 'been done to me' (getting the child bathed, dressed, fed, injected, schooled, birthday partied...) with a bit of sadness, that the element of how I might feel about any of it was never broached, I think it leaves the soul in a rather empty place to never know or assess how we feel. It certainly can lead to different decisions and often wrong ones.
PS the other phrase I never heard was 'good job' but that is another story and perhaps more common.
That is the truth, Celia. Our thoughts and words absolutely do create our reality. The trick is to become conscious of every, and I mean, every thought that comes into your head because it will manifest at some point. So we must become like Gandolph at the bridge and if a thought comes in that we don't want to experience, we must say, "You may NOT pass". And you must replace that thought, right then and there with what you do want to experience. And we must do this every single day until we are so conscious of our thoughts that we would never let in a negative one. The other trick is that we must feel the emotion of the thought, if we are trying to manifest something. The thought and the feeling must be married. The thought sends the electrical signal out and the heart is the magnetic signal that draws it to you. We are all energy and light and we are sending and receiving signals all the time. So let's all send out what we want. It has concerned me that if I believe the evil will continue to happen, that it very well might. So, I believe I am stronger than that, we are stronger than that. And maybe it all just starts in our families and communities with something as simple as a smile or a red balloon. We can't change the whole world, but maybe we can change our little piece of it and little by little if we were all doing that, in time the world really would change.
I would like to offer thanks for this article. I, too feel much of what you are feeling. The line about being right got me in the feels. I wanted so much to be right just a couple years ago. Now that I know I was right, I am inconsolable about how bad being right turned out. The day you learn your government and all those in power in your country literally want to kill you or own you and they don’t care which is the day you lose all sense of childlike wonder in the world and what it has to offer. The struggle from that point on is to find the actual good. May I offer up The Holy Bible as a place to start. It’s to be the only place I’ve found solace. Have a wonderful day!